Hush, Little Bartender, Don't You Cry
by DRRRLover1224
Summary: After a little "accident" with a bad bottle of milk, Shizuo ends up turning into a baby. He's pratically rendered helpless, but when Izaya finds the blonde infant on the street, he sees a side of the informant that he never knew existed. Rating may (probably will) go up.
1. A Little Accident

**Shizuo POV**

"Ah…perfect!" I said to myself still drying off my blonde hair with a white towel in the kitchen. I grabbed a nice, cold, fresh bottle of milk from my fridge to start my long day off. Beating up low-lives who can't pay their debts AND dealing with that obnoxious flea can wear anyone out, so milk is a main priority for me.

I held the glass rim to my lips and sipped a bit of the creamy liquid, and immediately I knew something was off. It had a type of…I dunno…weird taste. I poked an eye into the glass and turned it to look at each side.

"What the hell? It couldn't be spoiled…" I pondered. I just bought the stuff last night when I got off from work.

Just to be sure, I picked up the carton to find I still had a week before it expired. Something in the back of my head told me not to drink it, but I eventually shrugged it off. The taste was just weird, but that didn't mean it was bad. I gulped down the sweet content and licked the milk mustache off my mouth. I sat there for about two minutes to make sure that there was really nothing wrong with the milk. It may have been my abnormal strength and immunity, but I felt nothing peculiar and went back to my room to change clothes.

Throwing the towel on my bed, I put on one of my white dress shirts and my bartender uniform. I went to the bathroom to spray on a good dose of cologne and brushed my hair. It was already 9:14 and I didn't want to keep Tom waiting for long, so I slipped on my shoes and headed towards my door.

However, the second I moved, a strange and queasy feeling spread throughout my whole body. My vision began to get a little blurry, and my legs were starting to give out.

"What the…?" I said leaning on to my couch for support. I had no idea what was in that milk, but now it was officially confirmed that I was a dumbass for drinking it. I finally got the strength to sit down on the cushions, but I felt myself getting…smaller. And somehow…fatter. I stared at myself with wide mocha eyes as I began to shrink. My legs, arms, face, everything on my body (yes, even the symbol of my manhood) was getting tinier and chubbier.

"The fuck?!" I yelled, then closed my mouth. My voice had gotten higher as if I sucked out helium from a balloon. My clothes were draping all over me, and soon, I was about as big as your average Pikachu plushie. I trembled while feeling and probing on myself, then realized what that goddamn milk did to me when I looked at my living room mirror.

"I'm…a _baby_…?!" I said aloud.

My body was covered in baby fat, especially my cheeks (on my face) which turned rosy and smooth. My eyes felt two or three sizes bigger, and my blonde hair felt silky to my touch. I was just sitting there, butt naked on my own couch, wondering how in the hell this happened.

My first thought confronting Tom, who would then start laughing his ass off once he saw me. No, worse: if IZAYA saw me like this-

I punched downward on the cushion of the couch, pissed off by the infuriating thought, and I was surprised to find that a hole went right through it. I put my miniscule hands by my temples and tried to think this situation through logically.

"Okay, "I squeaked, still a bit pissed at how ridiculous my voice sounded, "I can still speak, I still have my strength." Then I wondered just how many years old I've reverted to and tested that theory by sliding my bare butt off the couch on onto the ground. I wobbled when my feet hit the floor, but I was still able to stand. I made slow paces back and forth and learned that I could still walk. I took a deep breath and looked down, and luckily, my manhood wasn't affected TOO much by the transformation, but it was still embarrassing…

I sighed, "Well, that's a relief…wait…I'm still a damn baby! How is that a relief?!"

I grabbed the nearest object I could find and slammed it into my head for being so stupid. Said object happened to be the remote control, and a kids' channel popped up on the television. My anger slowly diminished by all the bright colors and happy music that came from the mesmerizing box. I teetered over to the TV set and placed my palms against the screen. After watching the nonsense, I suddenly let out an adorable giggle, which snapped me out of my trance, and I pressed my finger against the ON/OFF button. The way I giggled just…scared me. It sounded too cute, and Shizuo Heiwajima is NOT CUTE.

I sighed, "What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

If I used the phone, whoever I called would think it was some prank by a juvenile, and I can't go out of my apartment because 1) I can't reach the doorknob and 2) I'm naked. I growled at my current situation and sat on the floor. I crossed my arms and poked my lip out. Then it hit me: I still have my strength…_bust the door down! _

"Easier said than done, "I noted, "And my clothes…?" I glanced over to the paper towels on the kitchen counter. I bombed Arts and Crafts in elementary school, but fashioning a diaper out of such simple material shouldn't be too hard, right? I replayed my plan several times in my head and went to the trash can next to the kitchen counter. I took me a while to finally shimmy up to the top, but when I got to the lid, I tipped the roll of paper towels over, making it fall and unravel on the floor.

I tore off a group of two sheets and folded them over. I was kind of stuck at phase two, but I finally made something that looked _close_ to a diaper and slipped my lower half into it. The only things I had to worry about were the "diaper" coming off and soiling it as a last resort.

I patted my backside. Paper towels are good for a lot of things, but there just not comfortable when it comes to diapers. I braved up to the irritating feeling and moved on to my second step: Get out and find the bastard who caused all of this. Seems easy enough now.

I walked to the door and glanced up to see the mocking doorknob just hanging there. I rolled my eyes and pounded the wood with my small fists. No avail, so I lifted my leg and kicked it as hard as I could. It made some splinters and a hole was visible, so I punched around that spot at least a dozen more times. Eventually, the door fell out into the hallway. I froze thinking that a neighbor might've heard the noise, but I didn't notice anything and moved on. My leg ached from using so much force, so I decided to put aside my dignity and crawled.

"This is so humiliating…!" I swore under my breath. I tried to assure myself that this was normal baby behavior and if someone walked by, they'd think nothing of it…at least I hoped. I put off my worries and focused on getting to the end of the hall. Good news is that I finally made it, now for the bad news: it led to a staircase.

I facepalmed, cursing to myself, "How the hell could I've forgotten about the stairs in this building?!"

Well, there was only one way to go if I had to get this problem fixed, so I ignored the pain in my leg and stood up. I linked an arm to the railing and put one chubby foot in front of the other as I went down. The short staircase, which normally only took me a minute and a half to get down, took five minutes to reach the main floor. Exhausted already, I got back on my hands and knees and crawled out automatic doors.

I was greeted by sunlight and dozens and dozens of peoples' feet walking on Ikebukuro's streets. I felt so…puny, and it made me feel even **more** puny the way no one noticed me. I was pretty much back to where I started except I'm outside.

I tried to think while crawling some ways down the street, attempting to look at the passing pedestrians to locate my boss, "'Kay, try to find Tom…and don't get squished on…I think I can handle that."

_Yeah, right_. I was practically lying to myself. I couldn't see over peoples' knees, let alone see a man with dreadlocks and glasses.

I sat on my butt and pouted again. _Now what?!_

To answer to my question, I suddenly felt a huge shadow loom over me, making the air around me cooler as it blocked the sunlight. Then I heard an all-too familiar voice.

"Oh, my, what a cute little baby~!"


	2. The Flea's Got a Soft Side?

**I was actually ****_really_** **nervous about posting this fic. It was just an idea that popped into my head, and I thought it was kinda cheesy, but we shall see, my lord, we shall see~(Yeah, I have NO idea where that came from...)**

* * *

"Izaya…!" I snarled under my breath. The milk must've messed up my sense of smell, because I surely would've detected that flea's scent so close to my apartment. He's literally making me want to make a "baby barf" by the way he's grinning at me.

My eyes shot up. _What if he did this to me?_

Before I could even think of what I was going to do to him, I felt myself being picked up and brought face-to-face, no, more like _nose-to-nose_ with the man that I can't fucking stand. He's red eyes are pissing me off each second, but the scowl I'm making probably just looks like a pout.

"Aren't you cute?!" he squealed, "Your cheeks are so fat and pink, yes, they are~! Oh, and look at those humongous, pretty eyes!"

…This was a first. The flea liked babies…?!

"Aw, what are you doing out here all alone, wittle guy?" the informant cooed, "Where's your mommy, hmm?"

I was about to cuss him out, but something told me to hold out and play along in this game for just a bit longer. After being a dumbass and ignoring my conscience this morning, now was a good time to make up for it. I took a deep breath and gave Izaya the cutest and most innocent baby face.

"Aa…Gaaba…boogoo…" I babbled. Izaya giggled.

"Oh, you're so cute! And you…" he frowned and looked me over, "…look sort of familiar…"

I froze, hoping that years of being an informant didn't make him too smart to figure it out. Fortunately, luck was on my side, and Izaya shrugged.

"Oh well, probably just me." He said as he cradled me into him arms. I'll admit, it was so warm and cozy in his fuzzy jacket. I suddenly started getting sleepy.

"C'mon, baby, let's go find your mama!"

_You're gonna have a long look…_I thought to myself with a smirk as I began to doze off.

* * *

"Uwa! Where could she be?!" Izaya whined. He had been carrying me on his side everywhere around Ikebukuro and even went to Shinjuku and back. The search for my "mom" had been going on for almost two and a half hours. While I actually admire Izaya tenacity and I was asleep for just about the whole journey, I was fed up with it when I woke up. I couldn't voice how I felt, so I began to whimper.

Izaya flinched and brought me to his chest.

"Oh…I'm sorry, baby…I don't know where your mommy is."

I took it a step further and began to cry…LOUDLY. It didn't matter where he wanted to go, I just wanted him to put an end to this stupid search. And besides, why not use my current position as an advantage? In other words, while I'm like this, why not make his life a living hell when I have the chance right in front of me?

"Wah! Waaaaah!" I hollered and kicked my legs to make a struggle.

Izaya bounced me up and down, patting my back to try and calm me.

"I know, I know," he sighed, "but…what am I supposed to do with you?"

I continued to "cry" but went over what the raven-haired flea just said: What ARE you supposed to do with me?! Now it's confirmed that he's got nothing to do with anything that's happened to me so far. Izaya shifted me to look into my eyes.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "…You're wearing a diaper…made out of paper towels…?

I stopped my episode and tried to convey the following message with my facial expression: _That's all I had, jackass._

Izaya sunk his shoulders, "What type of parent lets her baby run around in something as uncomfortable as a paper towel diaper? Worse still, what type of parent lets her baby run around _period_?"

I got a suspicious look on my face. I didn't like where this was going…

Izaya gave a warm smile and held me close to his chest.

"It's almost winter, y'know," he whispered, "and I can't leave you out here all alone, so…"

I immediately put my hands to his chest and pushed away as hard as I could. No way in HELL was I going anywhere with that flea! For all I know, he probably gets random babies on the street and cuts them up with his flickblade later-wait…that seems like something Shinra would do…

I gasped, bumping my head into Izaya's flat chest. _Shinra! _I was so stupid to be looking for my boss when I have an acquaintance that probably has the meds to change me back. Now that getting to Shinra was moved up as my main goal, I had to find a way to get there.

Izaya petted my head, getting the absolute wrong idea, "Oh, you must be breastfeeding, huh? Well, how about I just warm you a bottle when we get back to my place, how's that sound?"

_TERRIBLE, AWFUL, HORRENDOUS – Oh, if only I could speak now! _I yelled in my head, but I knew that it wouldn't be good for me if I did. However, there might just be the possibility that Izaya ends up going to Shinra's. Either way, I would worry about that later; I didn't really have a choice anymore…_goddammit_…

Izaya smiled lovingly again and put me over his shoulder.

"Don't worry-I gotcha, little guy. I'll take good care of you."

Surprisingly, I believed that he would.

* * *

**Aw, how sweet~! Normally, fluff just doesn't cut it with me since I blush at the sweetness everytime I read it, but like National Geographic always says, "DARE TO EXPLORE!" XD! Trust me, I will update by tomorrow - Matta ne~! (4 now)**


	3. Iza-Mama

"Okay~! What do you think, _Aka-chan_?!" Izaya struck a dramatic pose as he opened the door to his home. Sure, I've seen it before, but only from the outside, and as much as I didn't wanna say it, his place was quite stunning.

"Can you not act like such a narcissist, Orihara?" I heard a woman's voice say behind his desk. She was organizing a few files, so I took her to be his secretary. Poor woman…

Izaya smirked, "What can I say? I'm the sexiest informant around here, aren't I? Or is it that you've gotten over your twisted love for your brother and now you want me…Namie~?" He said with a wink.

The woman rolled her eyes and pushed her brown hair back.

"Shut up, asshole." She glanced up from her work and noticed me bundled on Izaya's side. She raised an eyebrow and pointed towards me but looked at Izaya.

"So now your new hobby is taking babies?"

Izaya smirked, "For your information, 'Ms. Yagiri', I actually saved this child."

She scoffed, "Oh, that's very interesting. Where'd you find it?"

"I was walking around hoping to run into Shizu-chan for a good circus show, but when I walked a ways past his house, I found this little tyke crawling for his life."

He rubbed his fingers against my cheek, and I had to suppress my growl by giving a sweet, gummy smile.

Namie walked back to her own desk. "You should've left it-"

"HIM." Izaya haughtily corrected.

"Fine, you should've left _him_ where you found him. His parents might be wondering where their baby is."

"No," he held me tighter, "this poor baby boy's got nothing on but a diaper made out of paper towels, not to mention he's probably starving."

"Then get him something to eat, genius." Namie said not taking her eyes off her computer screen as she typed.

Izaya stood there with me for a minute, then casually strolled over next to Namie's desk. Her typing pace suddenly slowed when she realized she was being watched. She looked up to see her boss staring at her.

"…What?" she asked, slightly annoyed.

"…I think he's…breastfed, so…"

She hopped up from her desk in disgust and shouted, "What am I – a wet nurse?! Feed him your own damn self!"

"…I can't lactate."

"With a bottle, dumbass!"

Izaya perked up as if he remembered something and extended me out to Namie.

"Hold him for a sec, will ya? Well, if you don't, your paycheck is getting cut in half."

She huffed and took me in her arms while Izaya ran to the kitchen. As she held me, we looked at each other with curious expressions.

"Hmm…I guess you are kind of cute," she mused, "No wonder Izaya didn't waste time to bring you back here."

I blushed as she ran her fingers through my hair. Maybe it was just a woman thing, but I felt at ease with each of her gentle touches. Izaya soon came back juggling a baby bottle in his hands. Apparently, he warmed it too much and the heat was beginning to burn his fingers. He found relief by slamming it down on his secretary's desk.

"…That milk is way too hot," she said touching the container with her fingertip, "What makes you think that this baby will be able to drink it?"

Izaya glared, "Well, Ms. Nanny, what shall I do now?"

"Just put it in the refrigerator for a few minutes." She said handing me back to the raven," This kid's looking really hungry."

I didn't know what "hungry" looked like on a baby, but my stomach began to gurgle to express it for me.

"Don't worry, baby, your milk is on the way~!" he cooed. I rolled my eyes. After today, I'm thinking about taking a long hiatus from milk. After a few minutes, Izaya, with me held up on his side, got the bottle from the fridge. _Why the hell does he have baby stuff anyways?!_ I thought, _Is it some sick fetish?_

"How is it that you have baby supplies?" Namie asked nonchalantly, "Don't tell me that those clients of yours were serious…"

"Yep, the idea of that couple paying me not only with money, but also with the baby materials they bought for their child really caught me off guard." The informant said sitting down at his desk with me in his lap, "Then again, they must've of been very grateful to me for getting some dirt on their child's murderer, my beloved humans~"

I frowned. I hated it when Izaya talked about himself like he was some fucking hotshot or a god. This is the side of him that I always knew and hated.

Said man mistook my frown for a sign of impatience and he chuckled.

"I'm sorry. I know you must be hungry!" he exclaimed putting the nipple of the bottle to my lips. I was skeptical, but it's not like I could've asked for sushi, even though I knew that Izaya probably kept more ootoro than he was ever going to eat in his life. I released a soft sigh and obediently opened my mouth, feeling the rubber top go in. I gave it one test suck to get a taste.

_Well, it's not great…but it's not bad either._ I noted, not believing what I was saying about how baby formula tasted to me.

I tasted it again, again, and then one more time before I started sucking at a regular pace. Izaya supported my back and smiled as I had my meal. I closed my eyes at the somehow relaxing sound of the milk being slurped down my throat. After the bottle was about three-fourths empty and my tummy (did I just say "tummy"?!) felt full, my chubby hands pushed away the rubber nipple from my mouth.

Izaya set the bottle down on his desk and teased my bellybutton with his finger.

"Wow~!" he giggled, "Such an appetite! I'm surprised you drank that so willingly even though you're breastfed. Are you better now?"

Actually, I felt horrible. It was like my stomach was bloated and about to burst. To top it off, it hurt like hell. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all, so I bawled for that flea to handle it.

"Uwaaaah! Waaaah! Wa-wa-waaah!"

Izaya looked concerned and stroked my back to stop my cries.

"What's the matter? I thought you were full."

_Exactly, I'm __**too**__ full! _I wanted to say, _Fix this, dammit!_

Namie finally threw her hands up, "That's it – my day's complete!" she said gathering her stuff, "Take care, Orihara!"

"Wha-? N-Namie? Namie, get back here!" Over my wails, I could tell that she was long gone. I wish I could go with her…

Izaya, however, was frantic and kissed the top of my head.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, baby! Oh, God, what's wrong?"

I put my hands around my stomach, trying, _trying_ to give Izaya a hint to get rid of this uncomfortable sensation.

"Oh~!" Izaya piped as turned me around and set me on his shoulder, "You just got a bit gas, huh? Yes, I know, I'll take care of that!"

The flea gave my mid-back some gentle thumps, making the distressing feeling slowly subside. My cries turned into quiet sobs as the pressure in my tummy (damn, I did it again!) went down. Then, some bubbly feeling traveled up my stomach, up my throat, and finally released itself in a huge belch. Instantly, I felt relieved.

However, it scared the hell out of Izaya, who jumped when the second I let loose. He pulled me of his shoulder blade and looked at me oddly. His face had shock and surprise written all over it.

"…Huh…"he finally got out, "…Good one, kid."

I couldn't help it when I giggled. He smiled at me again and gave me a warm Eskimo kiss. The friction between our noses was reassuring, to say the least, and he began to giggle with me. After a few more minutes of that, Izaya looked at his clock which read 4:43.

"Well, now," he grinned, "I think it's time we put you in some clothes, _ne_?"

He picked me up and carried me up the stairs leading to his bedroom. He put a towel down on the comforter and set me down to walk to his closet. I twisted my head to get a good scan of the room. The flea's stink was everywhere, but his bedroom was pretty spacious.

"I swear, "he said with his head in his wardrobe," bottles, baby food, clothes, toys – that couple gave me just about everything they had left for their child."

I rolled my big eyes at just how desperate and idiotic people who came to the flea for help could be. I rolled my eyes back even further when he emerged with a small navy blue onesie that had little cows, stars, and moons on it. Even when I was a real baby, my mom didn't buy stupid outfits like that.

"Okay!" he chirped as he set the baby get-up next to me, "Now for a _real_ diaper."

I sighed in relief. Honestly, I couldn't agree with him more. This thing was chaffing against my abdomen, and I was about **that** close to ripping it off to shreds myself. Izaya came back with a diaper along with baby powder and wipes. He carefully pulled the paper towel diaper off of me and was glad it was still clean.

He got a baby wipe to rub the tender spots on my waist. He chuckled when I gave a coo of approval. He put the real diaper on and picked up the onesie to slip it on me. I tried to struggle, but I felt fatigued all over again from the warm, sweet milk I drank earlier. Eventually, cows, stars, and moons were visible all over my body.

"Aw, just look at you!" Izaya babbled, "Does that feel better?"

I yawned and unconsciously stuck my thumb in my mouth. Izaya sighed contently.

"Ah, well," he replied, "guess you'd fancy a nap after such a long day, _ne_?"

He sat on the bed and lifted me with the utmost care. He positioned me securely in his arms and rocked me back and forth. I had no idea that the flea could be so…mother-like…maybe it's because I'm cute to him? Right now, I could care less because I was in complete bliss. A fresh diaper, goofy yet warm clothes, and the soothing way Izaya's cradling and humming to me: I fell asleep in less than three minutes.

* * *

**Shizuo: This is soooo messed up...**

**Me: Who cares?! People eat up stuff like this!**

**Izaya: Please review and I'll give baby a bath~*wink***

**Shizuo: Wh-what?!**

**Me: Oooh, sha la la~!**


	4. Bath Time to Smash Time

**I got an interesting review from With-a-Momo-on-Top (don't worry-it was actually a really good question!) She asked how I ever came up this idea. Answer? Well, maybe it's because I have two Shizuo/Izaya wall scrolls in my room OR I might've been listening to "Dango Daikazoku" (cute ending song from Clannad). But, to be honest, I really don't know. I just like to imagine DRRR! characters being, well...OOC. XD! C'mon, that's what fanfictions are for, ****_ne_****?!**

* * *

I don't know how long I slept, but all I remember is the flea coming in and caressing me gently.

"_Aka-chan,_" he whispered, "We gotta give you a bath. Wake up."

I slowly opened my coffee brown eyes and sleepily looked up at the raven that was holding me ever so smoothly. I hate to admit this, but by any means, I didn't want it to stop. Izaya, on the other hand, thought differently.

"Okay, let's get you cleaned up, "he said while carrying me to the bathroom in his bedroom. He laid me down on the bathroom sink and ducked his head under it to grab some baby shampoo, a small loofa, and lotions. Izaya put his hand over my chest while he bent over again to get some bath toys.

"Alright, _Aka-chan_!" I'm starting to hate that name, but it was better than 'Shizu-chan', "Do you wanna take a bath in the sink or in the tub-tub, hmm?"

_I want a damn shower_, I thought, but I smiled cutely and babbled while waving my hands towards the bathtub. Izaya laughed at my little act.

"Such a big boy!" he cooed. He turned around to twist the knobs in the bathtub, and it began to fill itself. Having that taken care of, Izaya turned back to me and unbuttoned my little onesie. By the time he did that and took off my diaper, the tub was already filled enough where I could get a good bath. Izaya twisted the knob again and placed me delicately in the warm water.

Izaya got a cup and dumped some water all over me for a good rinse. Then, my head and face were being stroked and cleansed by the loofa and Izaya's wet hands. It felt nice, _really_ nice, and it got better when he squirted shampoo on his palms and started washing my hair. It gave off a sweet, tropical fruit scent, and I wasn't complaining at all. If the flea could give refreshing baths like this to infants, then I may not want to go to Shinra's _too_ soon.

For some reason, my eyes kept looking at the bath toys Izaya placed out on the sink earlier, particularly the rubber ducky. It was a very vibrant yellow with a bright orange bill and topped off with cartoonish blue eyes. It was just so…**awesome**, so **amazing**, so **dazzling** – that's it: I HAD TO HAVE IT. While Izaya was washing my tummy (no use trying to stop it now…), I lifted an arm up towards the little rubber toy.

Izaya stopped, looking confused, and spun around to see what I wanted. He turned back to me and asked, "What is it? You want a toy?"

I babbled in a sort of "yes" and Izaya smiled.

"You want the ducky?" he asked picking it up and holding it near my face.

I didn't waste time to grasp it, and I began to cuddle it protectively close to my chest. Izaya chuckled and kissed my head. Any other day, I would've punched him for it, but with that stupid duck, I actually let it slide.

As the informant continued to bathe me, I squeezed the rubber toy in my hands a few times, making it squeak. I didn't understand why, but that thing was more fun than any of the remote control cars my grandma always got for Christmas **combined**. I giggled every time the little shrill, windy sound came out after each good pinch, but I ended up getting overly excited and forgetting my strength in the heat of the moment, I mashed it forcefully. All of a sudden, the duck exploded, scaring us shitless, and tiny bits of yellow rubber were raining over both us and the tub.

I stared at my hands for a minute, thinking about the terrible thing I just did. That duck was so special, and I didn't even know why-it just was. I felt hot tears bubble in my oversized eye when I looked back at how much fun I was having with it. My face turned red, and I started to bawl. I wasn't even ashamed of it. Hell, I think I loved that damn ducky!

My shrieks pierced through my ears and Izaya's as he tried to pick up the little rubber bits and protect his eardrums at the same time.

"WAAAAAAH! UWAAAAAAAAH! WAAH! WAAH…!" I cried and cried. I cried so much, I felt a headache coming on.

Izaya finally got the fragments up, and after dumping them in the trash bin, he kissed my face over and over again telling me it was okay.

"Oh, please don't cry!" he called over my screeches, "Baby. it's okay! I was just a ducky – no big deal!"

To me, it was a big deal. A HUGE deal, so I continued to wail. I felt Izaya's hands lift me out of the bathtub and swaddle me in a towel. He held me close and began to rock me, whispering as he did.

"Shh…shh…everything's okay…" I wouldn't hear it. I hated this strength enough and now look what I've done with it. I thrashed my arms wildly and I wasn't going to stop unless that flea did something to bring the ducky back. Instead, Izaya just held me tighter and hummed.

That song…he hummed it earlier when I fell asleep on his bed. I think I've heard it somewhere…but, either way, the slow tune did seem to calm me down a little. Feeling satisfied with the result, Izaya continued to hum while lying me down and dabbing the baby lotion on me. I whimpered and whined a bit but reluctantly let him do what he needed to do to comfort me. After the lotion was rubbed in, he carefully unwrapped the towel and put me in another fresh diaper. I found myself back in the ridiculous, yet cozy onesie once he fastened the top button.

"There, there…" he cooed carrying back to his room entrance and down the stairs to the living room. He sat down on the couch with me laying my head on his chest and ran his fingers through my damp hair. The way his did it soothed me, but it also reminded me about the way I embraced and petted that little…rubber…

"Wa…waa…waaaaaah! Waaah! Waaah!"

Izaya sighed and rubbed the side of my face. When that didn't work, he got up and went to the pile of baby supplies he pulled out earlier. There, he found a mini crib that rocked side-to-side fitted with a blanket covered with dancing rabbits holding colorful balloons. Carrying me on his side, he grabbed the crib by one of its edges and slid it close to his work desk. He sat down in his office chair and bent over to set me down in the crib.

Even when he started covering me with the cartoon blanket, I hadn't stopped crying. Izaya got up again, and this time, he came back with a teal pacifier. He kneeled down close to the baby bed and held the nipple close to my mouth. On instinct, well, I'm guessing it was a baby's instinct, I opened my mouth and sucked the pacifier, shutting me up instantly. Izaya smiled tenderly as I looked up at him with curious and innocent mocha eyes.

"Night-Night…_Aka-chan_…"

He kissed my smooth forehead and clasped my tiny hands, waving them playfully. When my sniffles subsided, he raised to sit in his spinning chair. He faced his computer but extended his foot to push the crib making it rock at a constant, peaceful pace. I turned my eyes to look at the flea, who started typing, but I felt drowsy again. I clutched the blanket and my sucking slowed down when I dozed off once more.

* * *

**Me: Soooo Sweeeeet...! XD**

**Shizuo: I think she's about to pass out...**

**Izaya: I don't blame her - Uwa! I wanted to bathe with the baby!**

**Shizuo: WTF?! Anyway, ****_Aka-chan_****'s getting annoying...**

**Me: Don't worry! We'll have Iza-Mama right on that!**

**Izaya: Yep, as long as you review~! Love ya~**

**Me: Kyaaa~!**

**Shizuo: Stop being icky...**


	5. A Loooong Night

Being a baby is tough…I'm serious. Well, maybe I shouldn't say that for all babies out there, but I've had one hell of a day. I know the flea's probably got bags under his eyes from all my crying, but…wait…why should I care?! I hate him! Like I said, I have the perfect chance to make his life a nightmare as long as I'm like this, but it's obvious that I can't stay a baby forever. How to get to Shinra…?

All this thinking was hurting my head, and I groggily woke up from my long nap. I had a trail of drool the led to the pacifier that fell out of my mouth when I was sleeping. When my eyes finally adjusted, I glanced over to Izaya's desk clock.

"Damn…I overslept," I whispered to myself after reading "9:28". I suddenly remembered that I wasn't supposed to be speaking and looked up to see if Izaya noticed. Luckily, he had his head buried in his arms on his desk. He shifted a bit but his light snoring persisted.

Speaking of shifting, whenever I moved, I felt…uncomfortable. My onesie wasn't itchy or too hot, but I every time I struggled, particularly in my legs, I ended up getting a wet and…messy sensation. I had a bad thought and hesitantly patted my "lower area", and sure enough, I felt something soggy.

I couldn't believe it: I wet my goddamn diaper. Absolutely perfect. Now I know why babies can't stay in a wet diaper for long, because I sure as hell didn't like it. I squirmed and whimpered, reaching out my hand to try and touch Izaya to take care of it. Of course, my arm was too short to do much of anything, so I just writhed some more, making the damp feeling even worse.

After a while of useless fidgeting, I started getting upset. Upset because I fell asleep too long. Upset because I wet my diaper. Upset because that flea wouldn't wake up to change me. When push came to shove, I wanted to cry again.

"Waaaaaah! Waaah…!"

Izaya woke up with a start. He did indeed have bags under his eyes and looked around the dark room. He finally rested his gaze on me and wasted no time picking me up. He cradled me in his arms and tried to stop my cries.

"What's the matter now?" he asked, not sounding the least bit annoyed or irritated, "Did you sleep too long?"

That right there was _part_ of the problem, but I had an even bigger and…_messier_ problem…

Izaya held me up face-to-face, and he seemed to get the hint by sniffing me round my waist. He made an "Oh…" with his mouth and stood up, putting me over his shoulder.

"Shh, don't worry, I'll take care of it," he said lovingly while rubbing my back.

My cries were reduced to sobs when he laid me down on a white mat on the floor. He left to go get the baby powder and the wipes in his bedroom. When he got back downstairs, the informant also grabbed a diaper out of the pack and started to strip off the onesie. His eyes widened when he saw how wet the diaper really was. I rolled my eyes as if to tell him not to stare.

"Well, now!" he exclaimed peeling off the tabs, "You certainly made a mess, didn't you?!"

He slipped the diaper from under me and started cleaning me with a baby wipe. It was degrading, but at the same time, I was secretly relieved to get the damned thing off. However, I got another weird feeling, and before I knew it, I almost sprayed Izaya in the face. Being a master of parkour, he easily dodged the jet, which kept going, but I knew it caught him off guard. Izaya quickly covered my pee-pee (aw, damn, not again…) with another baby wipe, and after a few seconds, I stopped peeing completely.

The raven stared at me in shock then sighed, "Aren't _you_ a charmer…"

Baby power was then puffed all over the now-dry area, and Izaya then put another diaper around my bottom. I sighed.

_That feels __**soooo**__ much better_…I thought, _very_ thankful.

Izaya hovered over me and nuzzled my cheeks with his nose.

"All done~!" he squealed, "Does that feel better?"

I cooed happily in response and laughed hard when Izaya blew a raspberry on my bare stomach. He stopped and tickled the little digits on my chubby feet, making me giggle until I got drowsy again. Izaya caressed my head and put my clothes back on while I yawned. He picked me up and went back near his desk to get the small rocking crib and carried it with us as he went up the stairs.

Izaya dragged the tiny bed next to his own bed and nightstand. Smiling, he laid me down in it and put the pacifier in my mouth. I was a bit too sleepy to see much of anything, but I saw the flea go over to his closet and change into his silk PJs. He crawled into bed and gave my forehead a goodnight kiss before going to sleep.

_11:26 PM_

I tossed and turned and finally awakened, really irritated I might add. I heard my tummy give off a growl and despite what I said earlier about taking a long break from milk, I craved it. I needed it, and I needed it NOW. Unfortunately, a bottle didn't come fast enough, so …

"Aah…Uwaaaaah! Waaaah! Waa-Waaaah!"

Izaya raised a limp arm to turn his lamp on. He looked down to see me bawling like crazy, kicking the blanket off in the process. He slowly got out of bed and sat on the floor to hold me again. He hummed to me, massaging my back, but when he saw me licking my lips and opening my mouth, he sleepily stood up and trudged downstairs to the kitchen.

There, he warmed up a bottle and held it to my wailing mouth. I gladly accepted it and sucked harshly. He leaned back against the kitchen counter and tilted the plastic container for better access.

Some milk ended up going down the wrong hole, and I coughed, resulting in me barfing a little. Izaya wiped some of the spit-up off with a nearby paper towel.

"Whoa…not so fast, little guy…"

I put my small hand over Izaya's, holding the bottle with him. He beamed tenderly and started to sway me.

"Huh…" he whispered, "I think I know who you remind me of…"

If I hadn't kept my cool, I would've gagged again, but I focused on getting the milk sucked from the rubber nipple and down my throat.

"I know!" he shifted me, "You look a lot like Shizu-chan!"

I tried to look oblivious to the fact by putting on my innocent mask, but I actually prayed he wouldn't find out.

"Mm-hmm, except you're way cuter!" he giggled, "And you don't rip up random objects on the street and try to kill me~!"

I was about to crush the slim hand that was under mine, but that bubbly feeling in my gut came around again. Before I could even whine, Izaya pulled the near-empty bottle out of my mouth and put me over his shoulder to burp me. Another big belch left my mouth, soothing me further, and Izaya carried me back to the crib, giving me the pacifier.

_1:03 AM_

I woke up again feeling annoyed for no reason. Oh yeah: the damn pacifier fell out of my mouth. I turned my head desperately in various directions, but I couldn't find it. In a deep rut, I got distraught.

"Waaaah! Uwaaaaaaah!"

The flicker of the lamp came on, and Izaya shuffled out of bed and kneeled on the floor next to me.

"Shh…shh, it's alright…" Izaya mumbled patting my stomach. He then realized the pacifier was out of my reach and held it near my face. I stopped crying and grasped the little nipple with my lips. Izaya wiped away the stray tears from my closed eyes, kissed my cheek, and crawled back into bed.

_3:49 AM_

"Uwaaaaaaah! Waaaaaah, waaah, waaah!"

I can't even remember why I was crying…oh, yeah…

I had a nightmare about me teetering and tottering into a sweet shop. Even better, all the cakes, pastries, and cupcakes related back to rubber ducks. I'm pretty sure I moaned in my sleep at the thought, but when I settled on a small pastry with the picture of a duck drawn by the chocolate icing, it exploded once I touched it. Then, like a domino effect, all the sweets "instantaneously combusted" as well. It scared the hell out of me, and I just needed to be held.

Izaya was the only one available at the moment, and soon, I saw the lamp come on and felt him stand up, lifting me up into his arms and bouncing me. I clutched protectively to his nightclothes, begging him to make the images of the bad dream go away.

"It's okay…" he cooed, even though his voice was draped with the utmost fatigue,"Shh…I'm right here, baby, shh…" When that seemed futile, he hummed that song again.

I immediately calmed down to the sweet melody, and after a few more minutes, I fell asleep before he even put me back in the crib.

_5:42 AM_

My feet kicked off the blanket again, and my arms moved about. I wouldn't admit this to anyone when or IF I became an adult again, but I wanted that flea to wrap his arms around me, to never let me go until I slept. I wanted him to hum that addictive song and rock me back and forth like a metronome. I wanted that so badly and right now. I whimpered and squirmed, getting impatient with each passing second.

"Waaaah! Waa-Waaaaaah! Uwaaah!"

Izaya didn't even bother turning on the lamp this time. He tiredly got out of his bed again and raised me up to cuddle me close in the crook of his neck. He hummed that pleasing tune that I already loved, and I calmed down. He loosened me to move me in his arms so we could look at each other eye-to-eye. As he swayed me in the gentlest manner, I yawned and huddled up closer to get the warmth from Izaya's chest.

"You know," Izaya whispered caressing my smooth, blonde hair, "I can't keep calling you 'Baby' or 'Aka-chan', huh?"

I yawned again, not really caring at this point just exactly _what_ he decided to call me. He chuckled when I made a baby-like sound in my sleep.

"How 'bout 'Kishou-chan'? It means 'precious', and even though you remind me of Shizu-chan…I already think of you as a precious, precious thing…_ne_?"

As long as the flea showed this side to me, I was just fine with it.

* * *

**Izaya: Uwah~! So tired!**

**Me: You're tellin' me, I might just die in my sleep from all this fluff...**

**Shizuo: He's talking about being up all night, dumbass.**

**Me: Dumbass...? Says the guy who went ahead and drank that bad milk...~#**

**Shizuo: SHUT UP! *lifts a HUGE sign***

**Me: AAH! Please review so Shizu-chan won't kill me!**


	6. Attached?

**Izaya POV**

Gosh…taking care of a baby is really hard work, and it's only been about a night. I'm a very light sleeper, and I've barely had a full eight hours because of Kishou's crying. But I don't blame him at all, and I don't regret my decision to bring him back here.

Right now it's almost 8:00 AM, and since going back to bed was pointless, I put Kishou-chan in the crib around 7:00, changed his clothes around 7:15, changed my clothes around 7:30, and went to work at my desk around 7:45. It's been a while since I've interacted with my beloved human~! After all, being an informant is the second most interesting thing involved in my life, the first being my fights with Shizu-chan.

"Now that I think about it…" I said to myself as my laptop started up, "the brute's been mighty quiet since yesterday…Wonder if he's dead~!"

The thought of seeing Shizu-chan's body in an open casket really excited me, but at the same time, that would mean losing my most favorite monster.

When the Internet popped up, I couldn't help but wonder if Kishou's parents put out some type of notice about their missing baby. Surprisingly, this was a certain piece of information that I really didn't want to know about, but I typed in my search box anyway to get some dirt, if any.

"Hmm…" I pondered as I scrolled down the results, "Nope…"

Reluctantly, I tried again, this time typing in Kishou's description, but I got the same results. One thing that caught my eye was an old article about the disappearance of my clients' child. Back then, it was just labeled as a kidnapping. For some reason, I shuddered, then thought that maybe someone on the chat log would know something.

I scoffed as I logged in, "I doubt it, but it's worth a try…"

_Kanra_: Hey-Ho~! What's up, mah peeps?!

_Taro Tanaka_: Hi, Kanra!

_Setton_: Hey, you're here early.`

_Kanra_: Oh, just got bored in my sleep and decided to chat a bit - no biggie~!

_Setton_: …Really?

_Taro Tanaka_: Shouldn't have expected any different from you, Kanra.

_Kanra_: Aw, how sweet~! Anyway, got a question!

_Setton_: 'Kay, what is it?

_Kanra_: Have either of you heard anything about a missing infant?

_Taro Tanaka_: …No, don't think so…

_Setton_: Are you talking about the child that was thought to be kidnapped a few months ago, but they ended up finding her body just recently?

_Kanra_: Oh, no, no, no! This kid's got blonde hair, mocha eyes, and the sweetest little gummy smile, well, just from what I've heard…

_Taro Tanaka_: No, I haven't…but that kind of sounds like a mini Shizuo Heiwajima…

_Setton_: You know, it does…speaking of which, I haven't seen him in a while.

_Taro Tanaka_: You don't think he's been killed, do you?

_Setton_: Doubt it.

_Kanra_: Well, gotta go~! L8er!

Without waiting for a goodbye response, I logged out. Apparently, no one knew anything about the child nor did his parents say anything about his disappearance.

"Maybe he doesn't even have a mom…" I wondered, "That would explain why he was out there all alone on the street…"

"Uwaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah! Waaaah!"

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Kishou's cries. I hustled up the steps, almost tripping at the top, and rushed in my room. I kneeled next to the crib and saw Kishou-chan flailing his arms with his face red. I picked him up, also grabbing his pacifier, and carried him back downstairs, cuddling him.

"Shh, shh, I know you must be hungry after such a long night, _ne_?"

I put the baby bottle in the microwave and popped it in his mouth. I swear, he's got a big appetite for such a little thing. If I didn't pull out of his mouth sometimes while he sucked, he probably would've chocked himself. I love the way he looked at me with his huge, innocent, brown eyes. I always hate to say this, but it was almost like he was Shizu-chan's reincarnation, but I knew it wasn't possible that he was related to him.

…Or was it?

I looked at Kishou's eyes that were beginning to close. Could this baby really be related to that monster? The only family I knew Shizu-chan had was his mother, father, and little brother, Kasuka. The idea was just so…outrageous…and ludicrous.

Kishou-chan hiccupped when I took the little nipple out of his mouth and gave a small whine. Before he could cry, I put him in a position to have him burped. As I patted his back, I starting having a notion to find out if this baby was of any relation to Shizu-chan and maybe get Kishou checked out to make sure he's healthy. It was still kind of early, but I think it'd be best to have Shinra give him a check-up.

As usual, I was scared to death after Kishou let out his regular enormous burp. I pulled him off my shoulder, and he looked absolutely relieved. I sighed and kissed his forehead.

"Hey, Kishou-chan," I said, "What do you say to paying Shinra a little visit, _ne_?"

His boyish eyes suddenly sprang up, and he babbled with a huge smile on his face. I laughed and nuzzled his nose.

"Yeah? Yeah?!" I cooed tickling him, "What a good baby!"

I put him on my side and pulled out a play pen that had a comfy baby blanket spread on the bottom of it. I set Kishou-chan down in it giving him his pacifier and a little stuffed panda bear. I held the little toy close to his face and pressed its paw. His eyes widened in awe when it played the song that I always hummed to him when he cried. I could tell he was hesitant to touch it since the "rubber ducky" incident, so I rubbed his head and inched the bear closer to him.

"It's okay, go on. Take it, Kishou-chan, it's alright."

He looked at me with sad eyes but took the stuffed panda in his small hands. He pushed the button in the paw again and smiled when it played the music box melody. I knew he'd never let go of it and that I'd be hearing that song all day.

"There, now you stay here and play with the bear while I call Shinra, 'kay Kishou-chan?"

He made a muffled baby-like sound out of happiness through his pacifier . I pecked his rosy cheek before getting up and reaching in my back pocket for my cell phone. I ran down my Contact's list and called Shinra's number. I walked near my desk while the baby was playing blissfully with his new toy and held the phone near my ear to hear it ring.

"Hello?" the underground doctor finally picked up.

"Good morning, Shinra~! How are you?" I said acting chipper.

"…Oh, Izaya? Hi, I'm fine! …Did Shizuo finally get to you?" Shinra asked slightly concerned.

I laughed, "Oh, no! I haven't even seen the brute lately – hope he's dead~!"

He groaned, "...Izaya-"

"Fine, fine. Do you mind if I come over for a sec?"

"Sure, but what for?"

"I'll have to give you the details when I get over there, but I found a baby yesterday and there are two things I want you to find out for me."

Shinra sounded confused by the whole thing but probably thought it was smart to save the questions for later, "…O-kay, my door is open."

"Great, see ya then~!"

"See ya."

I hung up the phone and walked over to Kishou's play pen, lifting him up. He tried to babble with his pacifier in his mouth but almost dropped it to the floor.

"Okay, big boy, "I groaned teasingly when I lifted him higher, "Ready to go?"

He gave me another one of his prizewinning gummy smiles and extended his hands to try and touch my face. I imitated some baby talk which made him laugh. Seriously, I'd never act like this if anyone was around, and as if to stop my joyful moment, Namie walked in the door and punched in her card.

I quickly put the baby down to carry him close to my chest. I glared at my secretary.

"If you were to walk in my place like that again, you might've gotten a knife to the skull."

She scoffed moving over to the infant in my hands, "Whatever. I see you still have him."

"Yep!" I said handing him over into her arms, "I named him, too. Kishou-chan – fits him perfectly, doesn't it?"

"'Precious', huh?" She mused while cradling the child in her arms, rocking him a little. She took a long pause before speaking again, a hint of uneasiness in her voice, "Orihara, don't tell you've grown attached to a baby that's not even yours."

I was caught off guard when she said that, but just laughed loudly.

"Ha, ha, ha! Of course not! I even tried to see if there was anything on the Net that mentioned anything about him or his family."

"And?"

"Nothing. I even checked on the chat log to see if anyone knew anything."

"_Must've been hard for you._" She said giving Kishou back to me.

I rolled my eyes, "Just get all those folders filed over there before I decide to kick them…"

She grumbled going over to her desk when I approached the door to go to Shinra's apartment, "I **wish** you would…"

Going out of the building and into the streets, I shifted the baby closer to the crook of my neck to hold him securely. Surprisingly when I got to Ikebukuro, no vending machines, trash cans, and/or signs came flying near me. I just skipped merrily thinking that the protozoan was probably just sick or something. I also got a lot of weird looks as I went down the streets. I mean, it's not every day that you see Izaya Orihara bouncing around while lovingly holding an infant.

My jubilant hops slowly lost their energy when I thought back to what my secretary said. I am not getting attached – I'm just trying to take extra good care of him so his parents won't think I'm some kind of pedophile or a kidnapper when they come to get him…or IF they come to get him. Sure, the baby was cute and a joy to be around, but I never really had thoughts about raising kids and always let the ridiculous idea drop. But…I guess…it wouldn't be SO bad to keep him a little longer, and if Shinra says he's healthy, then I wouldn't mind it. However, if that doctor proves that this baby is _indeed_ related to Shizu-chan…even being an informant, I can't even begin to imagine how that would play out…

* * *

**Me: Ahh...being a mommy must be hard...**

**Izaya: It is...**

**Shizuo: Flea...YOU'RE A DUDE.**

**Izaya: ...Haven't you ever heard of M-Preg, protozoan?**

**Shizuo: By the way, how does that even work...?**

**Izaya: Oh~! Well, you just take a little-**

**Me: AH, AH, AH! Not here, not here!**


	7. Let's Talk Baby-to-Man

**Okay, I've been getting a few reviews that suggest Shizuo should get really sick while he's still an infant and have Izaya in tears. I know this is supposed to be a funny story, but~...I'll consider it! Just like in every Tyler Perry movie, an good angst bomb here and there in between the humor isn't such a bad technique. Even if it doesn't come right away, just remember that the idea is fresh on my mind - Daisuki, minna~!**

* * *

This could NOT have been played out any better. Thank God the flea decided to take me to Shinra's apartment! He mentioned something about two things he wanted to make sure about me, but I know one is probably to get me checked out. The second one? I could care less as Shinra and I get to talk.

_Alright_, I thought, _get to Shinra's, get Izaya out of the room, tell Shinra and Celty what's going on…and hope they believe me…'kay, I can do that…_

While I'm breaking my cannot-possibly-fail operation down, I can help feel that people are staring at me. Some have looks that say "Such a cute baby!" while others express "Hey, that kid looks familiar…" However, most of the looks I'm detecting are utter confusion and shock. It may be understandable since it's kind of weird to see Izaya with a baby, but I'm starting to get kind of pissed. **Very** pissed.

After a while, it's too much, and I start to whine and kick my legs. Izaya flinches at my sudden temper tantrum and bounces me a little.

"Hey, Kishou-chan," he calls, "What's wrong?"

It didn't bother me last night (or early morning) since I was sleepy and full of warm milk, but now, the flea's new name for me just pissed me off even more.

"Hnnn! Mmm! Nngh…! Waaah!" My kicks were getting more forceful and I started thrashing my arms. I wanted to get to Shinra's but not without a struggle if people kept gawking.

Izaya held me tighter to try to restrict my movements, but his tone didn't show a sign of aggravation.

"Kishou-chan, why so fussy? Hmm?"

When I didn't answer and started to cry, he moved me into his arms and popped the teal pacifier in my mouth. I still squirmed but ceased my movements immediately once Izaya hummed that song. I swear: the side effects from me turning into a baby are equal to the side effects during pregnancy…

I could've fell asleep right then and there, but when he finished the song, he kissed my forehead and whispered, "All better?"

I put on a satisfied smile and stayed quiet the rest of the way. Let me just take this time to say that the flea's behavior is kind scary…but I rather see this side of him than his snarky bastard act. The most bewildering thing about this is the way he acts towards me in this form. He's holding me, nurturing me, even kissing me. If I didn't know the fact that Izaya just found me yesterday and knew his cocky attitude, I would say that the damned flea loved me.

The conversation between him and his secretary was actually kind of interesting. I never thought it was possible for Izaya to be "attached" to anything other than his "beloved humans", but maybe she was right. Was he attached to me? I can tell she struck a nerve in him when she asked him that, and even though I looked ignorant to the whole exchange playing with that stuffed panda, I listened intently to every word. Either way, I'm not staying this way forever, so I bet he'd be heartbroken if I turned back into an adult, no matter how much he tried to mask it.

We finally got to the underground doctor's apartment that he shared with his headless wife. Izaya knocked on the door, and Shinra, probably waiting by the entrance like a dog, rapidly opened the door.

"Hey, Izaya!" he piped, then he set his eyes on me, "Oh~! Look at the darling little baby! Izaya…is this-?"

"Yep!" the informant smiled proudly, "I named him Kishou. Isn't he cute?!"

Shinra grinned as extended his arms to hold me, "Aw, may I hold him?"

Izaya gladly handed me over to the doctor. I had to resist the urge to spill out everything that's happened to me so far, but I had to patient, a very hard thing for a baby to do.

The two men went inside to Shinra's living room, and he sat down with me on the couch.

"You are just the cutest little thing I've ever seen!" Shinra cooed, "Yes, you are! Oh, Izaya, where'd you find him?!"

Izaya sat back and crossed his legs, "Well, I was walking around Ikebukuro, a little close to Shizu-chan's place actually, and when I walked further down, I saw Kishou-chan crawling aimlessly around the street."

"Oh…" Shinra nodded playing with my hands, "So, is there something wrong with him?"

"I don't think so, but I just want to be sure he's 100% healthy."

"Wait," the doctor paused, "When you called me, you said that there were two things you wanted taken care of for Kishou-chan. So now I know that one is a check-up, but what was the other?"

Izaya turned both ways and leaned in close to Shinra's face.

"…I want you to give him a test to see if he's related to Shizu-chan."

Shinra's eyes widened, "What would make you think that this baby's related to Shizuo?"

"Look at him!" the raven poked my cheek, "You can't deny that there's **some** resemblance between the two!"

Shinra pondered and scanned all sides of my face from different angles. Then he hummed, "Hmm, yeah, this is a chibi Shizuo Heiwajima all right…I can do that for you with a blood test and have everything else along with it done in about an hour."

Izaya nodded, "Good!" and he stood up and stroked my hair, "Be good for Shinra, okay? If he's doing anything weird or unnecessary, feel free to scream!"

Shinra gave him a sullen look, but before he could take me to his "operating room", Celty came out of the bathroom with a towel around her neck and her PDA in her hand. She must've seen me, and she typed on her PDA.

[Whose baby is that?]

Shinra blushed, "Izaya found him crawling around on the street yesterday. Cute, right?"

Celty paced closer to me in Shinra's lap and leaned in to get a good look at my face. She typed as she patted my head lovingly.

[Yeah, he's adorable! Do you know his name?]

"I named him 'Kishou'!" Izaya exclaimed, "It means 'precious'. It was just so saddening to see a mini human all alone, so I took him in."

Celty made a shocked pose as if she couldn't believe that Izaya actually had a heart…or even any type of soft spot. Then, she acted as if she remembered something and shoved her PDA in Izaya's face.

[Izaya…have you seen Shizuo?]

Izaya negated with his head.

"So you haven't either, huh? Nope, not since yesterday, but everyone's wondering where he is. Anyway, it's never been easier to run through Ikebukuro without having to worry about a heavy object hitting my beautiful face~!"

Shinra rolled his eyes and got up to take me to his back room.

"I'll be done shortly – just sit tight."

* * *

"Okay, big guy," the brunette said laying me down on the table, "Let's get started by taking you clothes off, huh?"

It was now or never at this very moment, and I went with "now" by grabbing Shinra's fingers to keep them from getting any closer. And when I said I grabbed them, I mean I used every ounce of strength I had and twisted them.

Shinra winced at my inhuman grip, "Ah, ah, ah…! Heh…it's okay, little guy - this part won't hurt a bit…! Ow…!"

I thought maybe it was a good time to explain the situation and loosened the grip on his hands while speaking in a high-pitched, forced whisper.

"Shinra, it's me…!"

Said man jumped back so quick that he knocked over some of the medicine bottles that were in an open cabinet. The poor man put a hand over his chest and tried to regain his breath. When he did, he tried to scream, but I seized his blue tie and hauled it close to my face before he could say word.

"Shinra…it…is…me…" I said, trying again, "Shizuo Heiwajima."

The doctor looked as if he was about to pass out, so I said, "I'll prove it," and whacked him upside his head. He almost went cross-eyed and his head spun a few times, but after he regained his senses, he looked closer into my face with wide grey eyes.

"…Shi-Shi…SHIZUO?!" I shushed him fiercely. Shinra covered his mouth and went to crack the door to see if the informant or the dullahan had heard his yell. When no sign of that was evident, he closed the door again and locked it. He gulped, his legs trembling as he crouched down to get eye-level with me, and we just stared at each other: me with determination, him with absolute panic.

"Shi-Shizuo…wha…._what happened to you_?!" he asked anxiously.

I gave him the short version, "Yesterday morning, like a dumbass, I drank some milk that tasted funny and in less than five minutes, I turned into a goddamn baby!

He shushed me and I lowered my voice, "I managed to get out into the street to try and find Tom, but before I could start looking, Izaya came by and has been taking care of me and calling me 'Kishou-chan' ever since!"

Shinra blinked…twice…and asked, "Well…does…Izaya know…?"

I shook my head, "Nope, no clue. All I need from you is a cure if this can't straighten itself out with time!"

Shinra nodded absentmindedly and stood up straight.

"...Well, there's no reason why I can't believe you now…" he said slowly, "but you're asking me to do something very blunt. I don't even know what was in the milk – do you? Was it the same milk brand you always buy?"

I shrugged, "Yep, always. The expiration date was in perfect range. All I can recall is that it had a weird…almost metallic taste to it…anyway, CAN YOU FIX ME?"

Shinra sat down in a chair and looked me up and down, then asked, "That depends…what are some 'side effects' from this incident?"

"Well, obviously, my voice's gotten higher, I'm fat, I'm addicted to music-box like sounds and bright colors, I've been having scary-ass nightmares, I'm having random temper tantrums, I'm hungry all the time, I sleep way too much, I've been crying over the stupidest stuff, my stomach's always torn up after drinking milk if I'm not burped soon enough, I'm wetting myself when I don't even realize it, and most strangest thing is that I want to be held 24/7…BY THE FLEA."

I sighed after going through the long list and crossed my arms.

"Anything else?"

"…Yes," Shinra said putting his stethoscope in his ears and probing my chest, "Do you still have any of your adult characteristics? Like I know you can talk…"

I nodded, "I think I can still read, write, and walk, and I always make a giant belch when Izaya burps me after my meals, but most of all I still have my strength."

The brunette doctor suddenly stopped his movements and glanced at me.

"…You say you still have you strength?"

"Yeah…although it's a little weaker, but it's still there. I busted the door down to get out of my apartment."

Shinra took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shizuo…I'll put it like this: I have no idea of how you got this way, and I will examine some samples of the milk brand, but…I'm worried that your strength is going to continue diminish…"

I raised an eyebrow, "Huh?"

"Granted, I don't know why I think that, but call it a gut feeling. The thing that's scaring me is that as an infant, you can be prone to a lot of illnesses and infections. I know it doesn't feel that way know, but just don't overdo it. I'll try to find out what caused this and how to change you back."

I heaved a relieved sigh, "Oh, thank God…oh, wait! What about the blood test?!"

"I'll just tell Izaya that something came up and the results will be ready tomorrow. By then, I should have an excuse."

I nodded in agreement and hopped down from the examination table. Shinra thought it was wise to keep quiet and play along and picked me up.

He whispered in my ear while carrying me back to his living room, "_Should I tell Celty about this_?"

"_Yeah, but that's it_." I whispered back, "_I don't want this spreading around. Just let people think I'm gone for a while_."

We both got into character when Shinra handed me back to Izaya.

"So how is he?" the raven asked rubbing the side of my face and putting the pacifier in my mouth.

"Ah, he's okay," the doctor waved his hand dismissively, "but you'll have to wait for the blood test results until tomorrow."

Izaya pouted, "Fine, say 'bye-bye' to Shinra and Celty, Kishou-chan!"

Celty and Shinra happily flapped her hands towards me, and I babbled waving my whole arm in their direction. Izaya gave his gratitude and spun on his heels to take us home. I was put over his shoulder when I caught Shinra discretely mouthed to me.

_Good luck~_

* * *

**Shizuo: Glad I got that step done...**

**Me: 'Kay, so what's your next plan? Hmm?**

**Shizuo: Um...well...uh...aw, DAMMIT!**

**Me: Hey, guys, review and Shizuo's baby brain might just remember his next step!**

**Shizuo: HEY!**

**Izaya: She's got a point...**


	8. Somone Get the Camera!

I used to say that Shinra was nothing but "a bad acquaintance that stuck" BUT…if he can think of just the _slightest _way to change me back, I'll be indebted to him for the rest of my life. I'm not sure how long I can deal with this problem OR its side effects. Not to mention Tom must be wondering where the hell I am, and all this happened because a one…fucking…bottle…of milk.

As Izaya's carrying me back to his apartment in Shinjuku, I noticed that his skips have been sluggish a bit. I know he's got to be tired after such a sleepless night, rising up so early, and tending to my every need…almost like a real parent…

_HA! Bullshit_…I mused, still sucking on the pacifier, _that flea probably doesn't even want kids…_

Izaya suddenly stopped his pace completely and looked to the right. I couldn't see because I was hung over Izaya's back. When I whimpered and started to kick again, he quickly moved me to hold me on his side.

He smirked, "Well, well, well, look who's back in town!"

Apparently, a huge crowd had gathered around a certain area. There was a camera crew and a director shouting through a megaphone.

"All right, Yuuhei!" he called, "Get ready for this!"

I hiccupped with wide eyes at the sound of my younger brother's stage name. Izaya just chuckled.

"Oh, yeah!" he said pointing to the swarming zone, "He did just come back from shooting a movie in the States. Hmm…and I would've thought Shizu-chan would be lingering by to see how he was doing…"

The horde of fangirls suddenly screamed when Kasuka came out into the circle. He waved hello to the crowd, still wearing an emotionless expression. He had on his butler suit that he had to wear for the film, which only made the girls scream louder.

Izaya shook his head then cupped his free hand around his mouth.

"HEY!" he shouted, "MR. YUUHEI HANEJIMA! OVER HERE!"

I froze again, wanting to punch the flea in his goddamn hole. What the hell does he think he's doing?!

Kasuka turned to where the voice was coming from and gave a small sign of recognition. He turned to the director to excuse him for a few minutes and walked over to us.

"…Izaya Orihara, right?" he asked.

Izaya struck a dramatic pose, "In the flesh!"

Kasuka shook his head, "Ah, it's good to see you." Then he looked at me, "Is this your baby?"

"No, but he's so cute, _ne_?!" Izaya squealed, "I found him all alone on the street, so I took him home. His name's Kishou-chan!"

Kasuka stayed quiet, "…Wow…he looks kind of like Big Brother…"

Izaya nodded, "A lot of people have been saying that. Is Kishou related to any of you guys?"

I tried to fixate my eyes on the ground, watching a black ant as it went about its business, but my little brother's blank eyes burned right through me as he stared at my face.

"No, I've never seen this baby before…"

"Thought so," Izaya sighed and started to bounce me, "By the way, has Shizu-chan talked to you lately?"

"Not since I got back…why?"

I didn't want Kasuka to think that I was probably dead or very sick, so before Izaya could explain, I whined behind the pacifier in my mouth and fidgeted by thrashing my arms. Izaya giggled and started bouncing me higher.

"Uh-oh, somebody's getting fussy again!" he said spinning on his heels towards home, "Take care of yourself, Mr. Hanejima!"

* * *

"Num, num, is that good, Kishou-chan?" Izaya asked sweetly as he held the bottle in my mouth, swaying me back and forth in the kitchen. After a few more seconds of sucking, he pulled it out.

I hiccupped as a reply, and the flea kissed my forehead, "Such a sweet boy…"

I stared at him with curious eyes and suddenly let out a burp, spitting up some of the milk. Izaya gasped, then suddenly got a huge grin on his face. He rushed in the living room, plopped me down in the play pen, and ran upstairs to his room.

"…What the hell?" I mumbled, "What's he doing now?"

I shut up when he ran back down the staircase with a silver digital camera in his hands. When I realized that I still hadn't wiped the spit-up off my cheek, I gulped, _Oh, shit…_

"Okay, Kishou-chan! You're cute enough to be huge superstar just like Yuuhei Hanejima!" Izaya cooed as he kneeled by the play pen and position the camera in his hands, "Look over here!"

He blew kisses at me to make me glance into the lens, and while I was reluctant, I decided to humor the flea and gave a gummy smile with the traces of the spit-up still around the corners of my lips. The camera flashed when he snapped the picture, and he excitedly looked into it when I developed.

"Aw~!" he piped holding the silver camera in my face, "Lookie, Kishou-chan! What a happy baby!"

I giggled, but inwardly, I had a feeling that this would be going on for a while. I remember about a week or two after Kasuka was born, snapping photos of him doing random stuff that normal people do all the time was my parents' new hobby. It must've been irritating having that thing flashed in your face every five minutes, but maybe that's how Kasuka's so used to the paparazzi now.

And like I feared, the rest of the day was filled with the flashing light.

In the middle of changing my diaper, he stopped to take a picture.

In the middle of changing my clothes (which thankfully wasn't another embarrassing onesie…), he stopped to take a picture.

In the middle of laying me down for a nap, he stopped to take a picture.

In the middle of my bath, he stopped to take a picture.

In the middle of watching cartoons with me, he used the DVR to stop it and take a picture.

GOD, I've never been so exhausted in my life! Now, I was spread out in the play pen, clutching to the panda bear and thinking that my right eye's been blinded by staring at the flashing light some many times. Izaya seemed to be bursting with joy with the whole phase, laughing and smiling in his spin chair as he scrolled through each of the random snapshots. I wouldn't be surprised if he made a little slideshow and uploaded it to the Internet.

As my eyes try to close, I hear the flea's footsteps getting closer to the pen. He looks down at me and grins. When I noticed he still had the mocking camera in his hand, I rolled my eyes.

"Long day?"

It would be so much easier just to flip him off, but I settled for a yawn. He sighed and reached down to pick me up.

"Oh…I'm sorry, Kishou-chan," he said cuddling me while sitting down on the couch, "You're just too cute…"

I relaxed a bit and snuggled closer to feel his warmth. He stroked my rosy cheeks and held the camera up.

"Are you up for one more?"

I rolled my eyes again, but let out a small, tired babble in approval. Izaya chuckled and put me down in the spot next to him on the couch so I could sit upright. I lowered himself so that we were cheek-to-cheek. I wanted to bite him ear…_so bad_, but I kept telling myself, _Just one more and you can get some sleep…just one more…_

I leaned in closer to him and he beamed brightly, suspending the camera in space to face the both of us.

"Smile, Kishou!" I made another gummy smile (even though it hurts because I've been doing it all day) and the camera clicked. After two or three seconds, he removed it from its position in the air and slid it into my hands so that we could look at it.

When the preview finally blinked on the screen, my eyes widened. Izaya was nuzzled against my cheeks, and it looked like I was giggling. I smiled like he told me to, but the way he smiled looked…happy. _Incredibly_ happy. I've never seen Izaya smile like this before, since he's always given me nothing more than his trademark smirk. While I was awe-struck with the rare moment the little device captured, Izaya suddenly kissed my cheek.

"So adorable as always, _ne_?" he whispered, "What a happy baby…"

I looked at him with my brown innocent eyes for a few seconds, then I grabbed onto his neck with my chubby arms and held onto him. He flinched from the sudden action, but eventually nestled his cheek against mine, lifted me up, and securely wrapped his arms around me, humming that sweet song.

* * *

**Me: Ugh, I hate taking pictures~!**

**Shizuo: Right there with ya...**

**Izaya: Oh, I don't think its so bad. Maybe it's because my figure is attracted to the camera~?!**

**Shizuo and Me: SHUT UP, IZAYA.**

**Izaya: *whimpers* Meanie!**

**Shizuo: Please review so Izaya can stop being so bitchy...**


	9. Another Option

**Izaya POV**

I'd never thought I'd say this but…I went into complete bliss every time I looked into Kishou's eyes. He was just as his name described him – precious, in every way. It's been about a week or two since I found him in the street left like that, but no one's called or reported a missing child that matches his description. I have to muster up all the strength I have when I try to search for his biological parents, but I'm not finding any type of information at all. Well, I at least know that Kishou isn't related to Shizu-chan at all, thanks to Shinra.

Strangely enough, there are a lot of people worried about Shizu-chan. Ikebukuro's just not the same without the brute's rampages, and his boss even came up here to ask if I've seen him. Even Dotachin (along those two little idiotic otaku) and Simon are wondering and asking me where he is. It makes sense that they would come to me first if something were to happen to Shizu-chan, but I'm honestly just as confused as they are. That's why I hate that monster – he's so unpredictable.

Ah, no matter. Ikebukuro may be boring without him, but it comes with its benefits. No more city expenses for every light pole, traffic sign, and vending machine ripped up out there. Probably would prevent a lot of unnecessary injuries, too, and the fools drowning in major debt would get a long-needed break. There are a lot of pros and cons when the protozoan is mentioned, but it's almost as if Ikebukuro is at a standstill.

I get up from my spin chair and look out through my huge office windows into the Shinjuku streets below to see the many humans walking on them. I place a hand on the cold glass. The winter months are getting closer as I see some people in warmer clothing. I sigh and walk over to the little rocking crib to see Kishou-chan sleeping peacefully with the pacifier in his mouth. Careful not to wake him up, I caress his blonde bangs. The second I pulled my hand away, Namie came through the door.

"Afternoon, Orihara, "was all she said I she set her stuff down on her desk. I gave her a simple nod of acknowledgement, and she looked over my way. When she saw me hovered over the crib with the baby inside, she huffed.

"You _still_ have that kid?"

I frowned, "Yes, I still have him. _Why?_"

She sighed before sitting down in her desk chair. After a few minutes of looking through some files, she spoke again.

"Izaya," she groaned, "I think this has gone far enough."

I glared, "Namie, what are you talking about?"

"**This.**" She repeated, pointing at the various baby supplies around the room, "Look at you – you're running yourself ragged. Like I said the day you first brought that baby here, his parents are probably searching desperately for their child. And here you are, feeding him, cleaning him, caring for-"

I cut her off with a raise in my voice, "Namie, it's been two weeks, **TWO**, and there have been absolutely NO information on him or on his parents."

She crossed her arms, "But that baby belongs to _someone_."

"They shouldn't have left him."

"I'm starting to think that you aren't going to give him up if someone _does_ claim him."

"…You're right. I'm not."

Her eyes widened at my bold statement, and I was dead serious when I said it. I know it's only been two weeks, but there's no way in hell that I'm letting go of him now. I may be feeling sleepy all the time, I may not be getting as much work done as I used to, I may be hearing Kishou's cries multiple times a day, but it's only gotten me that much closer to him. In the beginning I compared it to simply keeping someone's seat warm when I found him, but now it's like I don't want to get up.

Namie recovered from her shock and responded, "You said that his parents haven't been looking for him. What if he's an orphan?"

"So what if he is?"

"Then..." she seemed to want to choose her next words carefully, "…maybe you should take him to an adoption center."

I bared my teeth. I was deeply insulted. Does she really think that I'm just going to hand him over to receptionist at the center, turn around to go home, and act like it wasn't a big deal? I looked at her with the most blazed crimson eyes.

"You've lost your damn mind! He's perfectly fine just where he is, and that's all there is to it!"

I stopped when Kishou woke up from all the noise and started to cry. I immediately felt guilty for yelling and picked him up to rock him.

"Shh, shh, I'm sorry, Kishou-chan," I said rubbing his cheek and putting his pacifier back in his mouth. When he finally began to calm down, Namie sighed again.

"Orihara, look at you! Ever since he's got here, I've done over _half_ your work for you! You've got bags under your eyes, and you're as white as a sheet. You may want a baby, and honestly, I doubt that you really do, but right now, you can't handle it."

…She's right.

As much as I didn't want to believe it, she was absolutely right. There's no way I can keep this up for long. Being an informant used to be so much fun to me, now it feels like added stress. Whenever my clients came by, they always got impatient when I stopped my work to tend to Kishou's cries. All the info I've been searching for always related back to him somehow. Let's face it: I've grown way too attached. If I wasn't such a narcissist, I would've broke down and cried in front of my own secretary over my torn decision.

After putting Kishou-chan back in the crib, I sucked in a shaky breath, glancing down at the precious infant in the little rocking bed.

"...I'll take him down there tomorrow."


	10. A New Weird Feeling

The sun was setting by the time I woke up with the bunny blanket covered over me in the rocking crib. I sleepily rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands and arms to adjust to the settling light. I sat up a bit and squirmed but accidentally rocked the crib too much, and I tumbled out of it, landing on my face. The crib was flipped on its side with the blanket strewn out across the carpet. The pacifier was hurled from my mouth with a broken string of drool trailing off the teat.

"Ugh, dammit…that hurt." I groaned pushing myself off the floor. Then I froze but I didn't cry, mainly because I noticed something vital.

**_That hurt._**

My eyes widened, _I've been like this for about two weeks…is that what Shinra was telling me about?_

My thoughts were broken when I heard the flea's door open and his footsteps coming down the stairs. When he walked around the couch to get to the crib, I got a good look at him. He didn't look well at all, and I didn't even hear him come downstairs for food. He was very pale, paler than usual, and his eyes were sagging. Something else strange about Izaya's eyes was that they were red and puffy, decorating the image with his flushed cheeks. It's like he's been in his room the whole time…crying…

He gives a feeble chuckle after he sees the mess and lifts me into his hold. He picks the pacifier off the floor and wipes it off on the front of his black V-neck shirt.

"Looks like we've both had better days, huh?"

I look up into his eyes in confusion. _What the hell is he talking about?_

"Kishou…" he said slowly, "Are you hungry?"

I pause before I coo a bit. He smiles weakly and lifts me higher as he carries me into the kitchen and starts warming up a bottle. When the microwave went off about a minute later, he pulled the bottle out and held the nipple close to my lips. Something was off, _way_ off, and I almost lost the gut to swallow even a drop of that milk, but something told me it would break Izaya to pieces if I didn't.

I reluctantly opened my mouth as he slid in the rubber nipple, and I sucked slowly. As usual, Izaya caressed my soft blonde hair with tender hands. He still acted lovingly towards me as always, but tonight, there was definitely something wrong. The bright shine in his eyes that he always gets when he's feeding me, both of us staring at each other like a real mother and child, has faded completely.

I couldn't do it. I twisted my neck and used my hands to push the bottle out of my mouth. Any second longer of this torture and I would've thrown up.

Izaya held the bottle to his eye and was shocked to see that it wasn't even half empty.

"Guess you weren't that hungry…" he mused softly before pouring out the rest of the bottle's contents and holding me over his shoulder for a burping. My eyes widened at this. Normally when I didn't finish it, he would put the bottle in the fridge to save it for later. I didn't like the flea's behavior. I'd actually begin to warm up to his motherly act, but now he switched up once more and it's scaring me all over again. It was bothering me so much that I faked a couple of hiccups to make him stop.

He holds me up high and smothers my face in kisses when he does. I give out dry giggles and weak smiles as he does the same. He then lowers me, and we stare into each other's eyes for a few moments. I could've sworn Izaya's eyes started to tear up, but before I could look closer, he pressed me to his chest and started pacing back to the living room.

"Wanna take a bath now, Kishou-chan?" he asked while walking up the staircase. I didn't respond, but just clutched onto him tighter.

He took me into bathroom, making a stop by his room to put the pacifier on the nightstand, and removed my clothes and my diaper while he ran the water. He set me on the sink while he got out the baby lotions and that fruity smelling shampoo that I like. I was surprised when he pulled out the baby toys and there was a brand new rubber ducky sitting on the countertop. It looked kind of like the old one, except had on a sailor suit with green eyes. I giggled and extended my arms out to get the ducky, and Izaya happily obliged by carefully inserting it into my hands.

I knew now that I wouldn't bust this one since it was a bit tougher and bigger, plus my strength was starting to slack. Izaya picked me up and placed me in the water, which had forming bubbles all around me. I started to splash and make waves as the poor rubber duck was forcefully carried up and down the harsh ripples. I laughed hard at the thing's suffering, and Izaya petted my head.

"Kishou…do you want me to come in there with you?"

My hysterics stopped instantly. I definitely wasn't expecting _that_. Secretly, since last week, I've wanted nothing more than to have Izaya get in the tub with me. I'd never, **EVER** ask for that if I were an adult, so blame it on the side effects! But, right now, I'm an infant, so to me, it's an obvious decision.

I smiled at him and raised my arms to get him to come in. He nodded and left the room to bring back another towel. On instinct, I covered my eyes when Izaya started to undress himself. When I felt the sudden rise in the water when he came in, I still had my eyes shielded. Izaya chuckled and put his hands over mine.

"It's okay to look, Kishou!" he said while slowly pulling my palms away from my face. He laughed when he saw that I had my eyelids shut, grunting and straining at the extra effort it took to make them lock really tight. He laughed again and kissed my forehead sweetly. I gradually loosened the grip on my eyelids as he used his wet, slender hand to stroke my flushed cheek.

"Kishou-chan…it's okay to look." He said again softly, and hesitantly, I opened my eyes. It was blurry at first, but the image of amused, yet warm, crimson eyes staring at me is what I saw. Relieved that the bubbles covered most of his body, I cooed happily and touched his face. He nuzzled his nose in the small palm of my hand and smooched each of the tiny digits. I put my hand down, but Izaya's happy expression faded. It was then that for sure I saw small tears were beginning to form in his eyes.

_This flea…he always calls __**me**__ unpredictable, but seriously, what the hell is wrong with him?_

I grabbed his hand with mine and whined, showing concern in my mocha orbs. Izaya flinched at the sudden touch and quickly put a smile back on.

"Ah, sorry, Kishou-chan! Just zoned out a bit…" he trailed off and began to wash my face. I said nothing, but the whole time, I was trying to deduce what could've caused this change in personality.

Izaya Orihara is an official narcissist. That much can be said, so any person who knows that also knows that this is not typical Izaya Orihara behavior. He would never act so weak in front of others, and though he does seem to drop his arrogant mask when he's alone with me, he'd never show this side of him even if it was just to an infant. He's always saying that his beloved humans look up to him as God and has no use for such human emotions such as love or sorrow.

After the bath, Izaya dressed me in a light blue onesie designed with a little blushing bear on its side after giving me a fresh diaper. He used a small washcloth to reduce the wetness in my blonde hair, making the tropical scent from the shampoo spread around the bedroom.

"Does that smell good, Kishou?" Izaya asked as he saw my pleasured expression. I sighed cutely as the smell was heaven itself, and Izaya leaned down to kiss my tummy. He lifted me up and set me down in the center of the pillows on his bed while he went to his wardrobe to change into his black pajamas.

"_Ne_, Kishou-chan, today's been kind of a rough one…" he whispers when he cradles me again after getting into the bed, "…how 'bout you sleep with me tonight?"

My eyes stood up, thinking there was definitely something wrong. Ever since this happened two weeks ago, I've learned to listen to my conscience along with my gut feeling, and right now both of them are tearing me up. Without thinking, I nodded my head slowly, then mentally slapped myself in the face. Damn these infant hormones…

"'Kay," he said at last while bundling both of us up in the thick comforter. He pulled the teal pacifier off the nightstand and stuck it in my mouth. We lay there, looking at each other with red and brown orbs. As much as I needed it, I refused to go to sleep because I just couldn't ignore all those signals. I squirmed a bit trying to get in a good position, but no matter what, those troubling feelings kept coming back. Izaya looked as if he could use some sleep, too, but he just blinked at my constant fidgeting. I stopped for a breath while lying on my stomach, exhausted from moving so much, and I felt a soft hand rub my back.

"_Shh_…oh, I wish I've would've gotten your panda bear before I came up here." He whispered, "…but I guess…I can give you your favorite song…one last time."

_One last time?_ I thought. I honestly was beginning to think that the flea was dying. Or about to commit suicide from all the added stress…but that couldn't be since he has me to take care of for a while, right? At least until I reverted back to an adult…now **that** would probably kill him inside and out…

Izaya smiled at my concentrated face and begun to sing softly, patting my back in synch.

"_Baby mine, don't you cry,_

_Baby mine, Dry your eyes,_

_Rest your head close to my heart, _

_Never to part, baby of mine…_"

I never knew that the flea could sing so sweetly, but sleepiness suddenly took over me. Izaya noticed this and continued.

"_Little one, when you play,_

_Don't you mind what they say,_

_Let those eyes sparkle and shine,_

_Never a tear, baby of mine…_"

He started to caress my fat cheek with his other hand as the brown in my eyes were becoming less visible. I thought I saw Izaya tear up again, but my urge to sleep was getting stronger.

"_From your head down to your toes,_

_You're not much, goodness knows,_

_But you're so precious to me,_

_Sweet as can be, baby of mine…_"

When he stopped, he reached over and kissed my forehead. In the process, I felt something wet fall and slide down my face. I gave one last whimper behind the pacifier before I fell asleep.

* * *

**'Kay, good new and bad news! **

**Bad news: updates will be a bit irregular for a good while. I was on Fall Break when I started this story, meaning I had just about all the time in the world to work on it. BUT, school starts back tomorrow, and as much as I love it (I'M NOT WEIRD.) I wish we had a few more days. T.T**

**Alright, good news: I have Computer Apps as a class and we're on the computer just about every day. I can work on it some then to get tidbits done throughout the week. OH! Be REALLY ready for the next chapter - THAT'S ALL I'M SAYIN'! XD**


	11. Please Don't Leave Me

**Izaya POV**

It was the first day in two weeks that I actually woke up later than usual. I'm normally an early-riser anyway, but with Kishou around, I find myself awakened around 5:00 or 6:00. I search for the strength to get out of my bed, but when I try to move, I hear a quiet whimper. I look to my side and remember that Kishou slept next to me last night, still sucking the pacifier. My breathing stops for a minute when I realize what I have to do today, and the bitter tears are threatening to sting in my eyes again. I touch Kishou's head and stroke the golden locks.

I sigh when I distract myself by looking at the clock, "7:04, huh? It should be open by now."

I wipe away the collecting drops of wetness in my eyelashes and chiding myself for bruising so easily from such petty human emotions. I'm supposed to be a god, a god that my humans can look up to. One that creates and follows the twists and turns in a person's life, never having to worry about getting caught…and then this…_miniature_ human…changed that whole aspect in only two weeks.

I finally release myself from Kishou's grip and head into the bathroom to wash up. In the process of cleaning my face, I see that my eyes are still kind of red and tired from crying so much yesterday after my decision. I made sure that Namie was well on her way home and Kishou was in a deep sleep, and when that was confirmed, I slammed my door and cried for at least three and a half hours if not four. I remember huddling against the pillow and it turning blue from all my tears staining the pillowcase. From a god's perspective, it was absolutely pathetic, but with a human, it was something I really needed.

After finishing up in the bathroom, I walk through the entrance to change my clothes. I jump at the doorway to find Kishou squirming and whining on his back, still asleep. The pacifier loosens and falls out of his mouth, making his whimpers even louder. He finally wakes up and starts to cry when he frowns his face. Hesitantly, I go over to him and pick him up, patting his back. Surprisingly, he stops his sobs the minute I start and cuddles me by wrapping his arms around my neck and nuzzling his head against mine.

"Ah…this isn't good…" I say under my breath with a resentful smile when I quickly lay him back down to get my clothes out of the closet. I dress myself slowly while Kishou looks at me curiously. He crawls over the edge of the bed that's nearest to me and flails his arm a few times against my side. I pretend I didn't notice it, for his and my sake, but he continues for a few more seconds, starting to whine again.

I turn to him, sounding more exasperated than I meant to, "What is it, Kishou?"

He stops and stares at me, then lifts both his arms up to be held. I felt my eyes starting to burn, and I halfheartedly shake my head.

"No…not right now."

He looks a bit shocked, but twists his body and crawls back over to the pillows to get his pacifier. When I see that he can't find it, I finished putting on my clothes and climb onto the bed. I lift the blanket and pull the pacifier out.

"Here," I mumble as I shove it into his hand. He only glances at it, then puts it to the side. He crawls closer to me and tries to scramble on my jeans, but I get up as soon as his hand touches the hem.

"Kishou…" I sigh out as I start to put on my fuzzy jacket, "I'm not…really…in the mood…"

He seems to get downhearted, but averts his eyes towards the window. Only a few clouds stood in the way of the sky's vast blue scene as the sun peered out of its cavern and glowed over my district, but I just grunted, finding the image so ironic that it annoyed me.

I told Kishou to stay put on the bed while I traveled downstairs to pack some of the baby supplies in a bag. I tried to stuff the items in the bulking bag as fast as I could to avoid another hysteric. When I left out a bottle and one set of clothes for later, I swung the bag over the couch to drop it onto the cushions. I sighed as I hung my head over the couch, eyeing the little panda bear's paw that stuck out of the bag's side pocket, only to rise back up when I heard a thud and a cry come from room. Any other day in the past two weeks, I would've wasted no time clawing my way up the stairs whenever Kishou started to cry, but today, I just saw no point in rushing.

When I finally got up to my bedroom, I see the blonde infant sprawled out on his stomach on the floor in front of the bed. I assumed that he probably tried to crawl off the bed to get to me downstairs but ended up falling hard on the carpet. His face was quickly turning red from his wails and his tiny hands curled up into tight fists as he lay helplessly on the ground before my feet. It struck me as weird why I didn't pick him up the second I reached the doorframe, just watching him cry and scream for me.

"_Kishou…_" I said barely above a whisper. He hiccups after giving a few more small sobs and lifts his head to see mine. The mocha orbs still have some running tears rolling down his rosy cheeks as he tries to gather some strength to inch towards my shoes. He's too exhausted but reaches his hand up in a beg to pick him up. I look down into his face but make no move to do so, upsetting him even further as his whimpers grew.

Before he could make another wail, I roll my eyes (without meaning to) and lift him up on my side, and after grabbing the pacifier, carry him back downstairs.

I sigh when he clumsily rubs his eyes with his arms, "That's what you get for not staying on the bed like I told you to."

He sniffles again and gives me a resentful expression. He cuddles up against my shoulder, dripping some tears onto my shirt. I reluctantly allow it while I put formula in the baby bottle I left out earlier and put it in the microwave. When the milk's done and I put the teat in his mouth, he sucked peacefully, only taking his eyes off his current engagement to glance at me. I suddenly found the scene outside of the windows interesting and looked towards that, ignoring the baby's deep, brown orbs.

I took the bottle out and hung him over my shoulder for a burping. After some pats to the back, he hiccupped twice then belched, and when I pried him off, he had a trail of spit-up on the corner of his lips. I grabbed a small napkin and wiped the stuff off.

"Still a messy eater…" I muttered and carried him into the living room to change his clothes. I turned my head towards the door when I heard it open, and Namie walked in, hanging her coat on the rack.

"Is it cold out there?" I asked her without so much as a "Good morning." She shrugged as I took off Kishou's onesie.

"Not really, but December's coming quickly this year…" she retorted nonchalantly. She noticed Kishou on the floor as I changed his diaper and put on his pants.

"…Orihara…are you going over there...today?"

"Namie, don't ask such stupid questions. I already told you I was," I snapped back icily pulling up the baby's shorts.

She walked over to where we were to get one last look at our two-week guest. She played with her hair when I picked him up to carry him on my hip.

"Oh…" she mumbled rubbing Kishou's cheek. She may seem like the type of woman who's stuck-up and cares only about her paycheck, status, and her brother, but I'm sure she'll miss Kishou, too, but not nearly as much as I will…

I grabbed the baby bag and slung it over my shoulder, giving Kishou the pacifier to keep him quiet the whole way.

I gave an emotionless glance to my secretary and said, "I'll be back later."

**Shizuo POV**

Okay…this is _beyond_ strange. Izaya has barely looked at me ever since we got out of bed, not even calling me "Kishou-chan". It's like he's giving me the cold shoulder, and I have no idea why. Did I do something? I don't think so…but this constant attitude change is **really** pissing me off! I mean, first the flea's all lovey-dovey for me, then he's all emo and sad tearing up every five minutes, THEN it's…I dunno, angry and…_avoidant_. Yeah…that's the perfect word for it, but WHY?

Anyway, Shinra was right. In fact, my strength is weakening faster than Shinra could've **ever** estimated. I hear that there are a lot of diseases that babies can get, especially around the upcoming winter. It's the same if I were still an adult: Sure, I have inhuman strength, but that doesn't mean that an injury (like a gunshot or a stab wound) to the head or chest couldn't kill me if the timing and aim were just right. Before the possibilities can get any worse, I need to get to Shinra as soon as I can to check his progress on my cure, if any.

Izaya suddenly stops his constant pace in front of some type of small building. I try to look at him, but his face is covered by the way his raven locks are draped over. I try to get his attention by whining behind the pacifier but Izaya doesn't pick up his head.

"Be quiet, Kishou," he says. I wasn't surprised by the hardhearted response, but instead tried to read what the sign said in big characters in front of the building's door. I read it again, this time slowly to make sure I wasn't losing anything else aside from my strength. The kanji was a bit difficult, but I finally got a rough translation.

_…Yōshi Engumi Sentā…huh…? _

I'm still utterly confused, but Izaya advances towards the door. He pushes it in with one hand, putting me over his shoulder. He holds me tighter and approaches the lady at the counter. I can barely hear her because my face is buried in the crook of Izaya's neck. He says something to her in response and some other stuff because I can feel the vibrations for a good while, but eventually, he lifts me off and hands me over to the lady who came from behind her desk. She takes me into her arms and I finally get a good look at where I'm at.

I see a few people in chairs in some sort of waiting room. Some have tissues balled up towards their faces, some are hesitantly filling out paperwork, and others are couples who are huddled up against each other for dear life. I was starting to think that this might've been some sort of hospital.

But then, I saw another woman come out with a one or two-year old child, approaching the overjoyed couple.

Then it hit me. **Hard**.

…No.

He wouldn't.

He wouldn't fucking dare.

My furious thoughts are broken when Izaya trembles and comes over to me in the lady's arms, handing her the baby bag. He gradually runs a shaky hand through my blonde hair and gingerly kisses my forehead. I can tell it's hard for him to pull away, but with forming tears in his eyes, he gives me one last kiss.

"Be good for your...family...'kay?" was the last thing he said before quickly turning on his heels.

_No…he…why would he even…?! _

I couldn't process any of my own thoughts. My whole body went numb as Izaya's steps went closer to the door, but I felt the lady turn around and shift me to put me over her shoulder, saying whatever. I felt fast-coming wetness shape into my eyes, but I didn't want her to comfort me.

I wanted Izaya.

The one who found me two weeks ago. The one who's fed me. The one who's bathed me. The one who's changed me. The one who's kept me out of harm's way. The one who comforts me when I cry. The one who loves me.

The one who was leaving me right before my eyes.

I whimpered, a tear rolling down my cheek, and I extended my arm to the raven informant, who was five steps away from the door. The woman who now held me was starting to walk in the opposite direction. I panicked, and without thinking, I called out to him.

"I…Izaya…" I whined softly, still reaching out. He didn't face me or seemed to hear me at all. I kicked my legs and flailed my arms, my tears dripping off my face faster than I can count them.

"MAMA…!"

…

…The whole room acquired a deadly silence as Izaya turned his head, absolute shock on his face, his feet almost touching the outside pavement. As I thought, his eyes had tears in them, too, but they grew in size when he saw my furious resistance.

The woman was frightened out of her wits by the sudden wail and accidentally dropped me out of her arms, causing some of the people around us to gape. I fell roughly on my stomach to the floor but lifted my head to see Izaya. I could tell that he wasn't going to hold out much longer since his legs were getting weaker. I grunted and crawled my way over to him, crying and sniffling the whole time. He gasped when I took a wobbly stance, putting my hand on the desk for support, and started to walk over to him with my other hand held out, begging him to cradle me.

He made a loud sob and ran to me without a second thought. He tripped and ended up falling to the floor where I was. I felt how much of the powerful force he was putting in to get to me when he picked me up and squeezed me tightly close to his chest. His heartbeat was erratic the way it thumped against my ear, but his rolling sobs started to drown out the noise along with my own.

"I'm such an idiot…" he says through his cries, wiping some of the stray tears clumsily with his shirt sleeve, "…Kishou-chan…I don't care where your real parents are or if you even have parents at all - I'm your mommy and...I'll never abandon you like they did. I know it's only been two weeks, but...I love you…" he sobs again, "…so, so much…'kay…?"

I clutched tighter as if to tell him to stop crying and to never let me go, but it would've been hypocritical of me. I wailed into his chest, and I felt my forehead being kissed repeatedly. Our clothes were getting wet by the second with our hot tears as he trembled on his knees. The people in the lobby were beginning to stare, but I couldn't have cared less.

All I know is that as long as I'm still a baby, I didn't want to leave him.

Not ever.

* * *

**Maybe it wan't so bad that this update was a little late. I had SO much time to think about (and trust me, I had to think!) and Computer Apps class has a lot of...hate to say it, but...IDIOTS who can't be quiet and be still for five minutes. Plus, our teacher's kinda loud...and I can't work with any type of noise aside from music, typically Japanese songs like anime OSTs, their full endings, and their full openings...'kay, I'm rambling again...**

**Anyway, not sure when the next update will be, but the best bet will be sometime next week, but either way please review! Love you guys' encouragement! One last thing: if you haven't guessed it by now or watched the anime Air, this scene is sorta-kinda like the one in episode 11.**


	12. A Breakthrough

**Izaya POV**

Treading the streets of Ikebukuro can really help you take it easy. Well, for me it does since this city provides more entertainment than a 3D flat screen TV, but it also gives you time to think, even with all the surrounding people constantly walking past you.

I feel…lifted. After that scene at the adoption center, all my tears are wiped away, the redness in my cheeks and eyes has been cleansed, and right now, I was walking, holding the most precious infant in my own arms as he slept. Kishou-chan…_my_ precious infant – the thought makes my heart soar every time I think about it. The past two days have been absolute hell for me, but that's all going to change once I go…wait…where am I going?

I stopped in the middle of the street, some people almost bumping into me from the sudden halt. I quickly reached a corner store and just leaned my back against its wall. At the adoption center, I decided that I was **not** going back to my apartment in Shinjuku. My happiness level was at an all-time high, and I didn't like thinking about what Namie's reaction would be when I took the baby back home. The outer shell I had on earlier today showed that my heart was so dead-set on giving him up, so while she'd be understanding why I just couldn't do it (since I'm the one who pays her) she'd still be disapproving on the idea of me raising a child. Plus, I hate being labeled as contradictory.

Speaking of child, Kishou-chan, tuckered out from our crying, shifted and slowly opened those brown eyes. I chuckled when he yawned and tried to stretch. When he started to coo, I smiled warmly down at him, getting an idea of where we could stay for the night.

"…_Ne_, do you want to see Shinra, Kishou-chan? I'm sure he'd be happy to see you again."

Kishou used the back of his tiny hands to wipe the sleepiness out of his eyes, happily cooing once more. He gave me a gummy smile and reached his arm out to touch my nose. I giggled and nuzzled my nose into the small, chubby, palm, sputtering out a few kisses. I got the pacifier out of the easy-reach pocket on the baby bag to put in his mouth and sighed dreamily.

"Then it's settled," I said after getting off the wall and starting to walk in the direction of the doctor's apartment, "It's only around noon, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind…what do you think, Kishou-chan?"

He didn't respond at first, giving me a curious look with wide eyes. Then, he shuts his eyes really tight like he did in the bathtub last night. He grunts before releasing a deep breath.

I raise an eyebrow, "Eh?…Kishou, are you okay?"

He stares at me before squeezing his eyes shut again, making a few more grunts. After a second or two, he relaxes and looks at me as if nothing happened. That "motherly instinct" kicks in and I rub his head.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you in pain, Kishou-chan?"

Kishou clenches his fists and scrunches up his face, making noise that sounds like he's straining really hard. His legs rise up a bit as he continues to make baby-like grunts, and his rosy cheeks got redder for an instant. Then, after hearing another noise, he suddenly stopped. I felt him sigh and sink down into my arms.

…I'm dumbfounded at first, but got a bad thought, "…Kishou-chan…did you just…poop?"

He sighed again in relief and I lifted him up to sniff around his bottom. I grimaced and titled my head in an off direction, "Yep…you did…might as well get to Shinra's quickly then…"

* * *

"Ah, Izaya! And Baby Kishou, what a pleasant…" the underground doctor trailed off as he sniffed the surrounding air.

"…'Surprise'?…Yeah, don't ask Shinra…" I said as I slid my way into the house-like apartment, "Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall to the left," Shinra said through a pinched nose.

"…Thanks. C'mon, Kishou – let's get you clean, _ne_?"

**Shizuo POV**

After a seemingly long and grueling diaper change (for Izaya, of course), I felt a million times better. Izaya smiled down at me as he secured the last tab on my fresh diaper.

"Aah…" he sighed, "Does that feel better?"

I cooed happily, squirming on my back on the chilly bathroom sink, and extended my arms to Izaya's face. Said informant laughed and lowered his head down to nuzzle my smooth tummy with his nose. I playfully kicked my sock-covered, chubby feet, giggling at the ticklish feeling of Izaya's raven hair against my soft skin. He put my shirt back over my head and picked me up, carrying back to the living room where Shinra was waiting patiently on the couch. The underground doctor beamed when he saw me in Izaya's arms.

"Daaaawww!" he cried joyfully, holding me on his hip once Izaya handed me over to him, "Someone smells like powder! Does dat wittle bitty diaper feel good?!"

I could tell he was taunting me, so when he put me over his shoulder, I leaned closer to his ear.

"_Shut. The. Fuck. Up_." I whispered slowly, yet maliciously. His eyes widened as the word "death" rung throughout my whole statement, and he gave a nervous chuckle.

"_Sorry…!_" he whispered back when he and Izaya moved to sit on the couch, me in his lap.

"So, Izaya," the underground doctor started off as he bounced me, "What on your mind?"

The informant sighed, "Well, not as much as there was about a day or two ago…"

"Huh?"

Izaya put his head in the cavern of his hands, "Shinra…I was stupid enough to take Kishou-chan to an adoption center."

Shinra gasped and caught the confirming look on my face.

"W-w-why would you ever wanna do something like that?! Did someone try to claim him?"

Izaya groaned, "No…it was all because of something stupid Namie said, and I that I would've-" he suddenly cut himself off, and sighed reassuringly.

"You know what? It doesn't even matter – Kishou-chan's here with me now, isn't he?"

Shinra smiled warmly and handed me over to Izaya, "Yes…yes, he is, and I'm so glad that you didn't give him up."

"I am, too…" he says cuddling me closer to his chest, "...Alright, enough with the sappy stuff. I was wondering…if you and Celty would let us sleep here tonight."

Shinra nodded, "Sure…but why wouldn't you want to go back to your apartment?" then he paused," Oh…'pride' thing, huh?"

"…Something like that…" Izaya said with a sly grin, "Anyway, thanks for this, Shinra. I really appreciate it! By the way, where is Celty?"

The brunette blushed a deep red at the sound of his wife's name, "Ah, my little shooting star~! She had to run an errand – she'll be back~!"

I rolled my eyes. Love pops up in the most mysterious of places…

Izaya got up, grabbing some formula and a baby bottle out of the bag, and headed to the kitchen, "Well, if you don't mind a bit, Shinra, I'm gonna make Kishou-chan a bottle. Watch him for me, will ya?"

He nodded and I sat with my fat arms crossed on the plushy piece of furniture. I glanced at the TV that was showing some documentary about how aliens are among us today and how they're going to take over. I scoffed.

_They said the same thing about apes_, I thought, _and made a movie out of it…_

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Shinra plastered with a worried expression.

"_That was a close one…_" he whispered.

"_Yeah, no kidding,_" I whispered back, "_It's been one hell of a day…_"

The documentary on the TV suddenly went to a commercial break. There was one about a new flavor of Pocky (this time it was ice cream sundae) and by the time the 2nd one came on, a shower gel commercial with Daisuke Ono as the "eye-catcher", Izaya came back with the warm bottle of milk. I extended my arms out to take the bottle from him.

Izaya laughed at the serious expression on my boyish face, "You wanna do it yourself?"

I cooed, and he laughed again handing me the bottle then sitting next to me. He stroked my hair while I sucked the teat.

"Okay, you're a big boy, _ne_?" he shrugged, then turned to face Shinra, "From a professional perspective, Shinra, how old do you think Kishou-chan actually is?"

Said brunette just scratched his head, "Well, knowing the fact that he can walk, I'd say at least eleven or twelve months. He seems to be catching onto things easily, but it's really only a guess."

I cut my eye towards the underground doctor before turning my attention back to the TV. It was still on commercial break, but by the time the fourth or fifth one came on, my eyes widened.

"_Hailing from regions all over the world, we only pick the best dairy products to sell right here in Japan. Cheese, yogurt, and none other than the world's creamiest, thickest, calcium-richest milk – we only give you the best! Oishī Dairy Products – __feel like a kid all over again!_"

After listening to every word on the thirty second commercial, I coughed, then the coughs turned into hacking chokes. I threw the bottle of milk on the floor and spit most of the stuff out of my mouth. Shinra frantically thumped my back while Izaya quickly wiped the liquid off my shirt and mouth with the back of his hand.

"Easy, easy!" Izaya called worriedly as I continued to retch, "Are you okay, baby?!"

Shinra told Izaya to grab a washcloth from the bathroom closet, and when he left he asked me in a furious whisper, "_What?! What's the matter?!_"

I wheezed as I kept flinging a tiny finger towards the TV screen, "_Th-that…that…that's it…!_"

"_Huh?_"

"_Milk…that's the…that's the one…!_"

Shinra's eyes widened, "_The brand?"_

"I don't see one, Shinra!" Izaya called from the bathroom.

"Just get a few paper towels!" Shinra yelled back and reverted back to a whisper, "_Oishī Dairy - Is that what you drank?!_"

I tried to clear my throat, "_Y-yes…!_"

Izaya rushed back to the living room, bringing the whole roll of paper towels, and tearing off a few to wipe my face.

"My God, Izaya, we only needed a few!" Shinra exclaimed.

"Didn't wanna take any chances!" the informant said almost breathless.

When my choking episode was over, the two men proceeded to clean the white mess off the floor.

"I am so sorry about this, Shinra," Izaya said, "Maybe it was too soon…"

The underground doctor shook his head, "No, no, it's alright! Nothing a few paper towels can't fix, right?"

After the puddle on the carpet gradually disappeared, Shinra excused himself by saying he had to make a phone call and stepped out. Izaya got back on the couch and held me in his arms.

"Kishou-chan, don't scare me like that! It's almost like you have a smoker's cough…" he mused.

Speaking of which, I have been **dying** for a cigarette as of late, but the only thing I have to substitute the addicting nicotine is the powered formula. It's soothing sometimes, but it's nothing like a real cigarette. I reassured myself that I would get to have one really soon because of this sudden breakthrough stemming from a half a minute commercial. Screw what parents say about television making their babies stupid!

Shinra came back in with a happy grin on his face, mainly directed at me.

"That was Celty. I told her about you staying here and she said that she would be more than happy to go to the store to pick up some extra groceries for you and baby!"

Izaya rolled his eyes, "Shinra…"

"AND," Shinra raised a finger, "if you need anything specific, she'll be waiting for you at the corner."

Izaya, still skeptical, eventually went along with it and blew me a kiss before he left, leaving me and Shinra alone to talk.

"Now, are you _absolutely_ sure that Oishī Dairy was that brand of milk that you drank before you turned into an infant?"

I stood up on the couch and spread my arms out in a "what-the-hell?" manner, "Shinra, I've been drinking that milk since I was a child! I don't think I could be wrong about this!"

Shinra nodded and opened his laptop, doing a quick search on the dairy-based company.

"Huh…"

"What is it?" I looked at the screen but couldn't make out most of the kanji.

"It says here that…Oishī's CEO has gotten complaints of the products' contents…like they're losing quality…"

"Yeah?" I pressed on.

"Mm-hmm, and…some medical companies…have somehow convinced them that they can make their products meet up to their standards. Right now, there's a huge competition battle about who can do this the quickest. Almost like a parody of the Cold War..."

"…So have any other people turned out like this?!"

"Well, "Shinra kept reading, "apparently…someone finally had a breakthrough and stored it in a few Oishī milk cartons, ready to ship them to the company for more testing, but…I'm guessing the experiment was accidentally let go into the stores…So far, there's no reports on anyone else that's in your same situation."

I stared at the doctor with wide brown eyes, "…So it was just…a few?"

He nodded, "I'm afraid so. It's risky, but I asked Celty to pick up more than a couple of cartons of that milk, then maybe if I can find one with questionable contents, I can do some testing of my own and try to cure you."

I sighed. Everything was piecing together so wonderfully. Sure, in the beginning, I wanted to beat the shit out of the guy who was responsible, but now, I only cared about being an adult again. I wanted to go back to work with Tom, let my baby brother know that I'm okay, have a long-needed cigarette, and continue to throw inanimate objects…at the…flea…

"…What about Izaya…?" I asked, mumbling at the embarrassing question.

Shinra looked shocked at the sudden query, but sighed regretfully, "…I don't know, but I'm sure you've thought about what to do when you finally change back."

I nodded and said, "This is gonna sound weird - and don't judge me – but I think it's gonna tear him up when he realizes that this was all just a misunderstanding. Maybe I should've told him the day he found me like this…I just feel…I dunno, a little bit guilty for leading him on like this. I think he actually…loves me…I really think he does…"

Shinra listened to every word I said, then inquired, "…And? How do you feel about that?"

I took a long silence, choosing my next words carefully, before speaking again.

"…I…I think I love him, too."

* * *

**So sorry I couldn't get this done quicker. There is something seriously wrong with my ankle because I fell hard at the track yesterday. It hurts like hell! DX But at least being bedridden let's me relax and do what I do best, ****_ne_****?**


	13. Time to Grow Up

**'Kay, this is where the rating goes up a bit, so be prepared!**

* * *

I sure I didn't mean to say that out loud, but I meant it. That flea learned to love me with all his heart, and now I feel the same. I think I've given in to all the hormone changes in my "situation", but there's no use trying to block it out now. It'll only give me a tumor…

It took Shinra a few seconds to recover from what I just said, but he just slid his glasses up a notch.

"Well…" he said awkwardly, "…how do you know that for sure?"

"…I dunno, "I shrugged, "I just…feel that way for some reason…" but then my masculinity reared its ugly head back, "BUT, when I turn back into an adult, I'm sure I'll go back to hating him!"

Shinra sighed, "Ah, Shizuo…"

"What?"

"You never now, there might be just the _slightest_…_teensiest_…**_itty-bitty_**-"

"**Get to the point.**"

"-CHANCE…that you really do love him back, infant or not."

I scoffed, "You're an underground doctor – not a love doctor."

Said man suddenly broke into a fit of giggles and blushed a deep red. I raised an eyebrow, "…What?"

He didn't respond but giggled some more. It pissed me off, but since I couldn't punch a hole through the couch like I did before, I knocked off Shinra's glasses.

"What the hell's the matter with you?!" I yelled in my high-pitched voice.

He covered his face with his lab coat collar like a young schoolboy with a crush on a high-schooler.

"Ah~!" he finally let out after picking his glasses off the floor and putting them back on, "It's just that I got all bubbly when I thought about me and my honey's love life!"

I crossed my arms, "…You mean you and Celty?"

"Yes!" he leaped, reaching for the heavens with his arms, "Celty finally agreed to call us 'husband-and-wife' about a month or so ago, and tonight, we're gonna celebrate!"

"Why tonight?"

"Well, because of the whole business with the gang wars and Dad coming over here, it's been kinda hard having some 'us' time, y'know?"

I nodded, "Well…nothing I can say except 'congratulations'."

Shinra suddenly locked me in a tight embrace, suffocating the crap out of me. He grinned from ear-to-ear.

"Oh, thanks Shizuo~! It's so nice to hear you say something like that!"

"Shinra, you bastard-!" I jabbed him in his stomach which made him gag.

"Okay, okay!" he said while coughing. He quickly let me go, and I straightened out my shirt.

"Damn…" then I sighed, "Fine."

Shinra glanced at me while rubbing his abdomen, "'Fine' what?"

"If you wanna have a sorta…'late' bachelor party for two…then despite how early it is for a drink, I guess I'm up for it."

The underground doctor scratched the side of his face, "Actually…I haven't even **thought** about that…BUT I'M IN!"

He rose up from the couch and ran to the kitchen. He shuffled through the cabinets and grabbed two wine glasses. I watched him amusedly when he pulled out a green bottle screwed tight with a cork from under the kitchen sink.

As he buzzed from place to place, opening door after door, he rambled, pausing and trailing himself off, "I know…Dad does not want me…doing stuff like this…but what Daddy doesn't know…will not hurt Daddy…right?"

I just gave a simple shrug and hopped off the couch. I shimmied up the side of a high chair near the kitchen counter and watched Shinra fill up the two glasses with the golden, bubbly liquid behind the kitchen counter. When he started on the second glass, he suddenly stopped and looked at me.

"You can drink this, right?" he asked.

"Well, I drink sometimes, except for beer, but-"

"No, no – I mean in your current state, do you think you'll be able to stomach some champagne?"

I widened my eyes, then expressed a sly look on my face that looked very "Izaya-ish".

"Shinra, "I started with a slick smile, "**Give me that damn bottle.**"

Shinra grinned and handed me the green hunk of glass. It was heavy, but with the exception of a few spills on the floor, I managed to fill up my own glass while Shinra waited patiently. We didn't know how long it would be until Izaya and Celty came back, but this was a special "man moment", and we weren't gonna waste it. Shinra's not my best buddy or anything, but he deserved some minutes of his last bit of freedom.

Shinra raised his glass as I did the same, "To two crazy, stupid lover boys…just like us?"

I nodded with a smile, "Just like us." And our glasses connected with a clink before we downed the bubbly liquid.

_4: 42 PM (2 glasses in)_

"My honey has been gone a long time…" Shinra pondered as he wiped his eyes.

I did the same, blinking a few times as I responded, "Yeah…what do you think they're doing?"

The brunette shrugged and mumbled an "I dunno", "Women are kinda unpredictable nowadays…"

"Yeah…" I smiled, but it ended up turning into a frown, "Wait…Izaya's a dude."

Shinra looked confused and suddenly brightened up, "Oh…_oh, YEAH_…"

_5: 38 PM (5 glasses in)_

"Hey…hey, dude…are you…um…um…" My eyes crossed as I looked up at the ceiling to find the word I was trying to say.

Shinra shifted his glasses, making them even more lopsided as he answered, "A-a-alright? W-was that it?"

I snapped my fingers a bit too dramatically, "Y-YES! Yeah, y-you're…you're so smart, you know that?"

Shinra continued to look at me with awe, "W-was that really it? Did I…did I really get it right?"

"Oh my God – YES!" I snapped up with my eyes widened.

"A-are you…are you sure?"

"Yeah, dude! I…I said, 'H-hey, are you-', and then I said, 'Um…', and then **you** said, 'Alright'."

Shinra giggled and did a small happy dance, "Oh~! I did get it right!"

I giggled along with him, "Yeah! So-so are you alright, man?"

Shinra stopped his episode and looked up to the ceiling with a blank look on his face, "…I dunno…"

_6: 55 PM (9 glasses in)_

"NO!" Shinra slurred wagging a drooping finger in my face, "Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh no! Kamenashi (hic!) Kazuya is…is WAY hotter than (hic!) Takashi Nagayama!"

I ran a hand down my flushed face and spat back after finishing off the last drop or two of my champagne.

"DUDE! Dude, no! I keep telling you that-that they (hic!) have nothing to do with it! (hic!) Yuya Matsushita is the hottest guy on the magazines AND TV right now!"

Shinra giggled with a goofy grin planted on his face, "Heh, heh, heh – you're…you sound gay…heh, heh..."

I hiccupped again with a drunken childish scowl, "I'm-I'm not gay…you're the one who's gay cause you started it…"

Shinra burst into laughter, "Naw! See…you (hic!) you love Izaya!"

I couldn't even respond to that as Shinra struggled to pour some more champagne into both of the glasses. I reached a chubby hand to try and stop him.

"No, no, DUDE! You've (hic!) you've had enough…it's…it's time for beddy-bye-"

"NO!" Shinra shook his head, "Celty (hic!) Celty's not here yet! Me and my honey gonna have a nice (hic!) night tonight!"

I nodded my head like I understood, "Ah…you…you gonna do some stuff?"

The underground doctor cut his eyes to another side of the room, adding on to the blush that was already there from his drunken state, "Mmm…_maybe~_"

_7: 21 PM (13 drinks in)_

I wake up with a slight throb near my temples, but it's nothing major so I brush it off. My eyes feel watery and sore as I look around to see where I'm at. I'm still in the high chair, but I must've passed out with my head down on the counter. I yawn, but gasp in the middle of the big breath when I can't find Shinra. I sloppily rub the sides of my face, still feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"Nngh…hey…hey, Shinra!" I call around the room, "Shinra, where are you?"

At that moment, I hear a type of cluttering sound come from behind the kitchen counter, and after a few more noises that sounded like grunts and groans, Shinra rose up from the floor. I'm guessing he passed out before I did, but I can't remember a thing. He lets his head drop on the counter, and I can tell he's still a bit tipsy by the way his brown hair is unkempt and the disappearance of his glasses.

He snorts, "Ah, gah…Shi-Shizuo…Wha…what time is it…?"

I let my own head rest next to his, trying to drain out the drink, "I dunno…seven-something…"

"Oh…how…how much did we drink…?"

"Uh…I think…ten…'leven…twelve, thirteen – I really can't tell you. I think I lost count…"

"Oh…" the brunette finally says as his grey eyes begin to close.

Watching his drift off is making me do the same, but before I could, the doorbell rang its chime, the sound ringing in our ears but sobering both of us up in that instant.

"Shinra, Kishou-chan!" I hear Izaya call from outside the door, "Will you open the door?! Sorry we're so late, but Celty and I kinda have our hands full!"

I chew on my finger and whisper, "_Oh, shit…!_"

"_Okay, 'kay, 'kay! Don't worry – we just gotta clean up!_" Shinra whispers as he rushes to the sink and grabs the dishcloth to make him look sober. He thwacks his hand against my cheek a few times, and I help him get rid of the glasses and the champagne bottle, hiding it in a new spot under the sink. We noticed that the smell of alcohol still lingered on us and in the kitchen, so in a panic, Shinra grabbed some air freshener and went in a circle around the room and around the both of us. He takes a first step to get to the door and gets his foot caught in the sticky puddle of champagne that I spilled earlier.

"Shinra! Did you hear me?!" Izaya shouts again.

Shinra stutters out, "Uh, b-be right there – just-just hang tight for a s-sec!"

He gives my face a rub down after scrubbing the spot on the floor clean and picks me up gently on his hip, making his way to the door.

"_Okay, here we go, here we go…_" he mumbles under his breath and finally lets an exhausted headless woman and raven in the room. No wonder they were so tired – they had to have had at least thirty or forty bags.

Izaya sighed tiredly as he set some of the stuff on the counter, "Haah! What took you so long, Shinra?!" he paused, "…And why do I smell wild berries?"

The latter just fumbled nervously with his hands, "Oh, uh, sorry! It's just that me and Kishou-chan were having so much fun together! He had a little 'stinky', but I took care of that, not without the help of a good air freshener! Right, baby?!"

Absentmindedly, and I do mean "absentmindedly", I nodded. Izaya forgot all his fatigue and smiled warmly, walking over to the underground doctor and taking me into his arms.

"Hi, Kishou-chan~" he coos after kissing my cheek, "How's Mommy's baby boy, hmm?"

Shinra was too drunk to be shocked at Izaya's choice of words, instead clumsily helped Celty put up the groceries. Izaya continued to caress me until we heard a thud in the kitchen. Shinra ended up falling down to the floor, causing Celty to type in a great panic. I rolled my eyes. I was drunk off my ass too, but I was handling it a hell of a lot better than the twenty-four year old.

[Shinra! Are you okay?!]

Her husband slowly rose from the floor and set his hazy eyes on the light green screen.

"Wha…? 'More you say?' I…I thought we were gonna wait until-"

He cut himself off as the PDA was again shoved in his face.

[No – ARE YOU OKAY? Where are your glasses?]

Shinra looked around and finally found his black spectacles on the hard floor. He smashed them onto his face until they stayed as Celty typed again, showing a sign of irritation.

[What's the matter with you?!]

Izaya laughed, "Ah, he's probably goofy and loopy over the type of night he's about to have!" then he strolled over to the underground doctor with a cunning smile, "I know what's going down tonight, Shinra~"

Shinra stood up on his knees dumbfounded until Izaya added, "One rule – try to keep it down…"

Celty seemed to keep riled up and flustered and fumbled with her keypad.

[W-w-w-wait a minute, Izaya! Just what're you-]

The informant burst into laughter, "Ha, ha, ha, ha! Bashful as always! As if Shinra would be able to do that! Ha, ha!"

The room hit a deadly silence as Izaya's fits of giggles trailed off. I gulped when I saw the drunken glower on Shinra's face. A very, _very_ sensitive nerve was hit.

"Just what're you saying…I-ZA-YA?" Shinra leaned in closer.

The raven just shrugged, "Oh…well…I'm sorry, Shinra, but…"

"'But' WHAT?"

"It's just…the idea of you…y'know…doing 'that' just seems…unreal."

Shinra titled his head, "Oh, REALLY?"

The informant nodded slowly, yet honestly, and Shinra scowled once more.

"Oh, so you think just cause I'm still a virgin, I can't make me and Celty's first time worthwhile, HMM?"

Celty jumped at the bold statement, trying to type something on her PDA.

[Wait a second, Shinra! I never knew that you-]

Izaya cut her off, "…I didn't say that, but I don't-"

"OH, REALLY?!" the doctor reiterated, "WELL, Mr. Informant what would make you think that?!"

The noise.

For some reason, the noise was **killing** me! Apparently, hangovers come in quick for a baby, and they hit even harder in the morning. I held some of my digits near my temples and whined, kicking my legs a little. When that didn't work, I finally started to fuss.

"Nngh…! Waaaah! Uwaah!" I cried on, despite the rolling and tolling throbs in my head, ready for a bottle, a diaper change, bed time – WHATEVER.

Izaya rose me up higher and cuddled me into his neck, shushing me softly to get me to calm down as he rubbed my back.

"Shh, Kishou... shh, shh…it's okay, Mommy's sorry…" he whispered when he began to rock me side-to-side, "Shinra, we'll have to talk about this later."

Shinra scoffed as Izaya picked up the baby bag and headed to the guest room with me held tightly in his arms.

"Yeah…" he pouted, "By the time 'later' comes, they'll be nothing to talk about…"

Celty placed a firm hand on her husband's shoulder as if to get him to keep quiet. I ruffled my blonde hair with a shaking hand.

_Tonight's gonna be long one…_

**Izaya POV**

Oh, how fun it is to tease my old high school classmate! It's better than rigging someone's speech at a graduating class reunion, even though I've never been to one despite wanting to know what my humans have been doing with their lives. Still, it's so outrageous to even think about Shinra doing "those types of things"…

I sighed as I set Kishou-chan down on the neatly, made-up bed. I stretched out on the comforter and buried my face into a nearby pillow.

"_Ne,_ Mommy's so tired…I wouldn't be surprised if Celty was too exhausted to 'celebrate' her marriage…"

The trip to the store gave me a little time to think about if I should really call myself Kishou-chan's "Mommy". It's just…not me, but it's not like I should make him say "Izaya" since he may be living with me for a good while (plus, the word "Daddy" doesn't really suit me either), and because it's the name he called to me earlier today, I might as well stick with it. Speaking of the blonde infant, Kishou looked at me with drooping, brown eyes, but he seemed to be listening to what I was rambling about.

"Y'know…Shinra's actually…really lucky to have a girl like Celty. She overlooks his weird quirks and flaws, well, _most_ of his weird quirks and flaws, but…despite her not having a head or some other normal human qualities, he still loves her with all his heart."

I flipped over on my stomach and twisted my neck to meet Kishou's now-widened eyes.

"…It's so not like me to say this, but…M-Mommy hopes you meet the girl of your dreams, Kishou-chan…or…**man** of your dreams if you end up like that – Mommy really doesn't care…"

I could've sworn my baby rolled his eyes and I giggled, "But, anyhoo, the choice is yours. As long as Mommy has you, Mommy wants to give you as much freedom as your age allows, not all suffocating like my parents…"

Kishou softened his expression and let out a deep yawn. I smiled tenderly.

"Ah, so you're tired, too…I'll make you a bottle then put you to bed – how's that sound?"

He wiped his eyes clumsily with his hand and after grabbing the formula and a baby bottle, I picked him up gently to walk to the kitchen. Celty must've coaxed Shinra to shut up and go to bed since the couple was nowhere to be found in the living room, so I went ahead and prepared Kishou's dinner.

He wasted no time in getting his mouth over the top when the milk was done, and even though it was a little slow at first, he finally sucked at a good pace. I held on to the bottle firmly, making sure this time he wouldn't choke. When the bottle was a little over halfway empty, a pink tint spread out over his chubby cheeks as his mocha eyes started to close.

I smiled and whispered, "Even in your sleep, your cheeks get rosy like that, Kishou-chan…you're too cute…"

I hummed his favorite song again, and that pretty much knocked him out. I took the bottle out of his mouth and walked back to the bedroom, patting his back on the way to get him to burp. After hearing the usual two hiccups and a belch, I set him down on the bed to change him into a new diaper and a nighttime onesie.

When I moved him up to get him comfortable and closer to the pillows, he made the cutest moan and moved his arms a bit. To prevent "more-than-necessary" crying during the rest of the night, I pulled out the panda bear and the pacifier, putting the latter in his open mouth. I changed in to my own nightwear and crawled into the bed, my back already aching to stretch itself out.

"Night-Night, Kishou-chan…" I whispered in his ear before finally falling asleep,

_10:47 PM_

I blinked some of the sleepiness out of my eyes once I hear some strange noises, almost like...a constant, soft, banging. Well, it was soft at first, but then it seemed to get louder and louder. No, it was NOT a ghost, but sound continued for a least a few more minutes. Then, whatever it was, the noise just gradually stopped, getting soft once more. I sat up and looked around the dark room, but all I saw was the gradient glow from the luminous moon through the window. I glanced over at my baby, who wasn't stirred by it at all, and making sure he was content, I sighed and leaned back once more.

_12:31 AM_

"Nnngh…waah…nnngh…"

I hear Kishou-chan whimpering, but it doesn't sound like he's about to cry. He's still asleep, but it seems as if he's irritated like I am. That noise is driving me crazy! Most people don't know this, but as I said before, I am a very light sleeper, so even the pitter-patter of cat's paws on hard floor could wake me up.

…Okay, maybe it's not _that_ extreme, but I need my sleep and I'll hate anyone who interrupts it (except for Kishou of course). The noise kept going and I was getting annoyed by the second.

"Shh..." I whisper, gently placing my hand on his head and caressing it. The frown that was on his face slowly faded into a peaceful expression once again. I sighed, wiping my own tired red eyes when the noise finally stopped. I raised an eyebrow in complete aggravation as I looked around the room one last time. I groaned, thinking that maybe today had been longer than I thought, and stuffed my face in the pillows again.

_1:54 AM_

That's it – I CANNOT TAKE IT. That damn noise has only given me one to two hour intervals of sleep, and Kishou was getting restless by the second. I flung the sheets off of me and paced around the room to calm myself down. I thought about marching into Celty and Shinra's room to tell them to take care of it, but I know I can't do tha-

…Wait.

**_Why can't I do that?_**

I made up my mind and after calming the baby down, I tiptoed out of the guest room and into the small hallway. The noise seemed louder around the dark area, and I bared my teeth. I sucked in a huge breath and approached the couple's door. My hand was about an inch or two away from the knob until I realized the noise's source.

"_Nngh…haaah…n-nngh…aaah…!_"

I snatched my hand away out of reflex and regaining my composure, I pressed a quivering ear to the door. It scared the hell out of me when I heard a groan.

"_Gaah…nyaaa...O-Oh, God…! Aaah…haaa…_"

I froze. I recognized the underground doctor's voice anywhere, but to sound so…PLEASURED? I couldn't help but press in closer if it were possible.

"_Haah…gaaah…C-Celty, I'm…I'm gonna…!_"

I blushed a deep red. I heard a few more banging sounds and realized that the sound I'd been hearing for the third time tonight was the metal headboard on their bed thumping harshly against the wall with each…thrust…

"_Almost there…!_" I heard him moan through shaky breaths, "_Aaah-Almost there…almost there…nngh…gaaah…Ooooh, my God, oh, my God, Celty…I'm...I'm…!_"

I shut my eyes tight when I heard Shinra's ecstasy-filled yell, but they flipped open after I felt something tingling my feet. I jumped back, almost tripping on air, and I felt the slight sensation of...smoke, shadows, fog – whatever it was – billowing out of the small crack below the door in puffs. I heard heavy panting and the bend of the springs in the bed as Shinra fell back on the mattress.

I took some steps back…real _slow-like_…going back to my own room. I crawled into the bed, almost traumatized, and surprisingly, Kishou didn't look like he moved an inch from all the racket in the room next door. In fact, I could've sworn that he had a small smile on his face. I brushed it off, however, and covered myself in the sheets.

"…Not like they can do it a fourth time…" I mumbled drifting off to sleep.

_3:59 AM_

**Shizuo POV**

I sucked on my pacifier peaceful but tweaked an ear to listen to the moans and groans coming from the room next door. My hangover's still lingering, but I couldn't miss a second of this. I made a discreet snicker while watching Izaya tossed and turned, finally putting a pillow over his head.

I smiled slyly and thought, _Maybe the man actually has it in him…_

* * *

**Me: Haa! I finally got it done! XD**

**Shizuo: Shut up! I still got a hangover!**

**Me: Oh, drink something with a raw egg in it and you'll be o-kay~!**

**Shizuo:...**

**Me: ...What? You don't watch ****_Cowboy Bebop_****?**

**Izaya: I don't even know what's going on and I already think you're freakin' daffy...**

**Me: WAAAH! Please review so Shizuo and Izaya will stop bullying me! (Even though I don't take that as an insult -XD!)**


	14. Baby Steps

**Let me just say that I'm sorry that this update is so late, but there have been too many things going on right now that have cut down on my time. First off, I've gone to the doctor about my ankle, and even though at first he said that an operation might have to be done, the x-rays said differently, but I'll still have to go to therapy. :( Next, I was throwing up yesterday and stayed in bed for just about the whole day without eating much of anything (yes, not even Pocky O.O). Then, my dad might have some type of infection, and even though I love my dad dearly, he's hard-headed and doesn't like going to the doctor. Basically, he's a "wait-and-see" type of guy.**

**Anyway, let's get on with this:**

* * *

That champagne must've done something to me 'cause I couldn't get the sounds of Celty and Shinra's little "celebration night" out my head. Izaya was about to go freaking crazy over all the noise, but I was actually okay with it. It's about time Shinra brought out his wild side that comes out in all men some time in life.

I hear Izaya groan under the huge comforter. He raises his head above the sheets and groans again. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was everywhere. Basically, he looked a hot mess, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing.

"Ugh…so tired…" he complained, "Stupid Shinra…"

Once he glanced at my alert, chocolate eyes, he smiled warmly.

"Ah, good morning, Kishou-chan…how's Mommy's big boy, hmm?"

I giggled quietly and stretched my arms and legs out. Izaya chuckled at my "huge" yawn and petted my tummy.

"Mommy got you something real nice from the store, Kishou-chan. You'll get it after your bath and your breakfast, 'kay?"

I perked. _A present?_ I understand that it's wintertime and Christmas is just around the corner, but why the sudden urge to buy me a gift so soon? Well, it is Izaya, who happens to my "mommy" at the moment, and whatever it is, he's got my curiosity peaked.

"Okay, now, let's get you clean~"

I suddenly felt Izaya picking me up and heading out of our room. He stopped and snuck a peek in Shinra's (and apparently also Celty's) room, seeing the underground doctor still sleeping. Izaya rolled his eyes when he saw the mess that was Shinra's hair. He walked on and tried to take me to the bathroom for a bath after grabbing a towel from the closet, but the shower was already running.

"Huh…" he mused, "Celty must be in there. Guess I'll fix your bottle then."

He put me on his hip and moved toward the kitchen. He put the formula in a small container and began to fix it up to be heated. After starting the microwave, he suddenly sniffed me and scrunched his nose.

"No wonder you were whining last night," he said chuckling, "You went pee-pee~!"

I leaned my head on Izaya's shoulder to hide my embarrassment, but he just smiled.

"Here, "he said while laying the towel out on the kitchen floor and putting me down on it, "Let Mommy change your diaper while your bottle is warming up, _ne_?"

He left for a few seconds coming back with the baby wipes and a fresh diaper. I kicked my legs a bit when he leaned in and unbuttoned the onesie. He kissed each little spot that came to light when he pulled off each button, making me giggle. He made his way to the diaper and carefully pulled off the tabs.

It was indeed very…messy…but Izaya's expression didn't change from its soft one as he slipped off the dirty diaper and began cleaning me with a baby wipe. It felt good as usual, and Izaya laughed when I cooed.

"Ha ha! Does that baby wipe feel good, Kishou-chan?" He laughed harder when I cooed dreamily again.

He and I were so occupied with the changing that we didn't even notice Celty hovering over us, now in her suit. Izaya got the sensation of another being watching him in the room and turned around to meet Celty's figure. Celty shook her…neck and typed something out on her PDA.

[Do people regularly change diapers in the kitchen? XD]

Izaya smirked, "Oh…call it convenient~"

Celty's shoulders shook in a laugh and proceeded to take the container out of the microwave once it went off. She graciously poured the contents in the bottle setting it on the counter while Izaya finished me up and cleaned the area. Throwing the dirty diaper away, he handed me over to the headless woman and washed his hands.

"Thanks for that, Celty," he said, taking the baby bottle in one hand while juggling me in the other. Celty nodded, and Izaya pushed the teat near my lips. I blinked and opened my mouth, sucking greedily as the bottle shifted constantly in Izaya's hands.

I looked up innocently into my "mommy's" crimson eyes and Izaya kissed my forehead.

[I'm gonna be honest - I would've never thought in a million years that I'd see Izaya Orihara caring so tenderly for an infant. Especially one that looks just like Shizuo…]

Izaya heard Celty's fingers working their magic again and shrugged when he read the message.

"Neither have I, Celty, "he said chuckling turning his loving gaze back to me again, "But…there's just something about him that…I dunno, he's just so…precious. Just as his name describes him. I don't know how I've gotten this soft."

[Maybe you love him?]

"I already know that I do, "he replied, then he grinned, "Speaking of 'love', you and Shinra had some pretty good love sessions last night~"

Celty tensed then jumped when Izaya added, "-AND this morning."

She typed out as quickly as she could, fumbling with her digits.

[You heard all that?!]

Izaya nodded, "Technically, it was only Shinra I heard, but you guys seemed to be having a great time~!"

Celty jumped again, dropping her PDA, and I couldn't help but giggle into the rubber nipple.

[I-IZAYA!]

"Shh!" the informant playfully put a finger to his lips, "Your hubby is sleeping!"

[Oh, he said he wasn't feeling well this morning…]

_Lightweight_… I thought smirking as I continued to suck.

"Yeah, he seemed to be pretty much knocked out when I peeked in there. Like I said, 'long night'…"

As if on cue, the underground doctor strutted in. He had a few tired wrinkles around his grey eyes, but otherwise, he looked very satisfied. What was even more surprising is that Shinra didn't have on a shirt, instead being bare-chested with night shorts. Izaya rolled his eyes as the man waltzed in to the kitchen.

"Didn't you mother ever teach you that it's not polite to show skin when you have guests?" Izaya asked with a lifted brow.

Shinra leaned into his face with a goofy grin, "Nope – not at my own house~"

Izaya nodded with a look of disgust as he put me over his shoulder for a burping. Shinra proceeded to walk over and poke my cheek playfully.

"Hey, Izaya," he said after he stopped, "Do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Maybe, that depends what it is."

"Well, this is going to sound strange," the brunette started, "but…do you think that you could get some dirt on a, um…specific company?"

I felt the pats on my back stop for a second as Izaya shifted me.

"Okay…what 'specific company'?"

"…Oishī Dairy."

"Huh? You mean that company that manufactures just about every dairy product in Japan?"

"Y-yeah."

Izaya scoffed after I hiccupped and belched, "Shinra, why would you want me to look into something like that? Sure, if it were a tech company or even a small conning business, I'd be interested, but dairy-"

Shinra waved his hands in defense, "I know! I know! I just…it's really, _really_ important, so will you help me out, please?"

"Shinra-"

Said man grabbed me out of Izaya's arms and held me up to the informant's face. He stuck out his lip in a mocking manner and whimpered.

"Oh, Izaya, pweeeaaase?! I'll wove you fowever~!" he squeaked as he bounced me around with his words. It wasn't fun, at all, but I went along with it. It would be more convenient if Izaya did most of the work on changing me back. Might help Shinra find a cure in no time.

Izaya ruffled his hair in defeat then snatched me back, "O-okay, okay! Fine! If time allows, I'll try to find some info on the subject. You'd better be glad that I'm not going to charge you for this!"

Shinra grinned and hugged Celty, who acted as a bystander the whole time, in happiness.

"Oh, thank you, Izaya-kun! You'll never know how much this'll help!"

Izaya shook his head and headed towards the bathroom, "I would ask why you would want me to look into something so insignificant, but I'd probably just regret it. Plus, I gotta give Kishou-chan a bath."

Shinra nodded gratefully, then gave a cunning look towards his love that he was still squeezing for life.

"Hey, Celty, wanna go again? Last night's memory-"

I shut my eyes when I heard Shinra's squeal of pain.

"Ah, never mind…!"

* * *

The bath was definitely something that I needed, especially since Izaya came in with me. It was way better than last time – no sign of sadness or despair. Izaya scrubbed my body thoroughly while I "attempted" to do the same. Of course, I was in no position to do much of anything since I _couldn't_ do much of anything, but Izaya just laughed it off.

After the bath, Izaya came out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist and a towel around me. He set me down on the guest bed and changed my clothes, combing my hair first. It wasn't another onesie, instead being a simple light blue T-shirt and khaki pants with thick white bootees. I enjoyed the warmness of the change of clothes as Izaya changed his own. He checked himself in the mirror and turned around, giving me a mischievous expression.

"Now, is Kishou-chan ready for his present?"

I cocked my head in confusion. I admit I'd forgotten about that, but even while I remembered it, I had no idea what the flea could've gotten me.

Without giving me more time to guess my early Christmas present, he scooped me up and carried me to the living room. Celty and Shinra (with a clean shirt) were sitting on the couch deeply engrossed in some type of show about dachshunds jumping rope with Kyari Pamyu Pamyu (it was only a matter of time…).

"_Ne_, Celty," Izaya piped, "Did you put Kishou-chan's gift in the closet like you said you would?"

The dullahan perked at the sound of his voice and nodded. Shinra sleepily rolled his head to look at whoever spoke.

"Eh? You got something for the baby?"

Izaya only hummed in response as he placed me in Celty's hold while skipping merrily to the closet. I raised an eyebrow towards the couple.

"_What's this all about?_" I whispered.

Shinra merely shrugged, and Celty tried to convey that she didn't really know the reason behind it either. Suddenly, I heard wheels rolling against the hard floor, and Izaya came back with a baby stroller. It wasn't some cheap baby doll accessory that a person would get for their daughter on her birthday. This looked like it would push the price tag to hit ¥10000 to ¥12000.

"Here you go, Kishou-chan!" he smiled, "It's a baby stroller – that way Mommy can take you anywhere you wanna go~!"

Shinra got up as my mouth still remained agape.

"Ah, Izaya-kun!" he grinned, "It's adorable! What made you want to get it?"

"I just felt like it was time for Izaya Orihara to walk around with an infant and feel proud of it," he explained, "Besides, I've read that it's a great way for Mama and Baby to bond. It sounds weird, but…I wanna take on the challenge of raising Kishou-chan as my own."

Shinra widened his eyes, and the smoke from Celty's neck billowed out in a few heavy puffs.

"A-are you serious, Izaya?" Shinra sputtered out, "You always told me that you wouldn't even dream of having children! You said that all through our school days, didn't you?"

Izaya nodded solemnly, "Yes, I remember. To tell you the truth, I don't know what's making me feel this way, but I know it's something that I have to do."

[But, Izaya-]

"I know, I know, it doesn't come without official papers and other stuff like that, but for the time being, I want to raise him. I want him to be mine."

…I hadn't expected that. The man that I've hated, chased, and kept the intent to kill for so long…wants me, in a way. Of course, he doesn't know who I really am, but just the thought of the flea wanting a child…his life seems way too busy for that. Even though all of the facts remain, he's really committed to keep me as his own son. It's surprising yet…a nice change of heart.

"Kishou-chan…" Izaya whispered loud enough for me to hear, "do you want to stay with Mommy?"

I honestly didn't know what to say. I'd been living with him for a little over two weeks now. To anyone, it'd be too early to want to claim a child that you just found in that time frame, but…did I really have a choice? I almost feel guilty for letting Izaya on like this, especially since it's gone this far. I have to change back to an adult sooner or later – I can't stay a baby forever – but if I did go back, and I know I've said this over and over again, God only knows how badly it would break Izaya.

"Kishou-chan?" Izaya called, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked to him with glassy brown eyes before trying to slide a foot down to the floor. Instead, the bootee was too smooth for the slick floor, and I ended up falling flat on my face.

Shinra rushed to my side, "Hey, are you-"

Before he could even touch me, I smacked his hand away.

"Huh?" the doctor pondered, "Well, aren't you stubborn? What are you trying to do, little guy?"

When he backed up a couple of spaces, I frowned as I tried to pick myself up off the floor. The task was harder than it used to be, but eventually, I got up to one knee, two, then finally shakily stood on my own two feet. Izaya gasped then hunched over on his knees, clapping his hands and smiling.

"That's a boy, Kishou-chan!" he cried, "That's a boy! Can you come to Mommy?"

I took a good look at the distance between him and me, but nonetheless, I made the move to lift my foot and press it forward. I stuck my hands out for balance, but I still wobbled. I put my other foot in front of the last and tried to repeat the action. Celty completely blew off the dog show on TV to watch me instead, and Shinra pushed me on by nodding.

After a few pauses, I was about halfway there. I blushed at Izaya's encouragement, and I even smiled as I took my steps.

"Yes, c'mere, Kishou-chan! Come here to Mommy!" Izaya urged holding out his arms.

When I finally felt skin contact, I knew I had made it. I was whooshed into the air, going up and falling back down over and over again, right into Izaya's grasp each time, and he sounded as if he was about to cry when he finally snuggled me into his hold.

"Yes, you did it, Kishou-chan…" he whispered, "You already seem so strong and determined to do what you have to…Mommy loves you so much…you know that, right? Just like I told you before."

I clutched onto his clothes tighter if it were possible.

_Of course I know that_, I wanted to say, _and if only I could, I'd say the same thing._

I buried my face in his chest, thinking the worst possible scenarios that could occur when all this is over. Becoming attached to someone or something works both ways. One tends to have that pull of affection on the other, making them want to feel close too. I felt his slender, warm hands caress my head, which only made me feel worse. I almost felt sick, to say the least, about what's been happening.

_Oh, Izaya…I'm so confused, but…I honestly wish it hadn't gone this far…_


	15. Protect

**Izaya POV**

The weatherman said the temperatures for today would be in the range of 67° and 72°, but I still wanted to go out somewhere today. Doing so would kill two birds with one stone: first breaking in Kishou-chan's stroller, and secondly stalling for time before I go back home. I was still in no mood to meet Namie's protests, even though I _do_ have the power to fire her, but at least I have a person who I can dump all my extra work on.

Hey, that's what secretaries are for, right?

After packing up our stuff and placing Kishou-chan in the stroller, Shinra and Celty sent their goodbyes and good lucks, and we made our way out. Luckily, I also bought Kishou-chan a small jacket with extra fluff on the inside of it. I can tell he liked it since he snuggled in the warmth of it every so often as we walked.

"_Ne_, Kishou-chan," I said dropping my head over the hood of the stroller, "Do you want Mommy to take you to the park first? We can get ice cream~!"

The baby's eyes sprang open, and he kicked his legs in excitement. I giggled at this and wiggled my finger in his tummy for a good tickle.

"Okay, okay!" I laughed out, and I wasted no time getting there. Not many people came out here today because of the weather, so I pretty much had the bench all to myself. I took this time to kiss my baby's forehead and stroke his cheek. His chubby fingers intertwined with mine, and he nuzzled his face in the clasp.

"…Mm…Ma…" he tried to sound out. I widened my eyes.

"Oh! Can you say 'Mama', Kishou-chan?" I asked lovingly. He tried to say it right a few times, with an amusing frown on his face, but I just pushed the golden bangs out of his face telling him he was doing well.

"Oh, Kishou…I love you so-"

"IZA-NII! IZA-NII~!"

I threw my head up immediately, banging it on the hood. I grabbed the top of my head, hoping to reduce the pain, and growled at the call's source.

"M-Mairu?! Kururi?!"

Said twin terrors almost tackled me to the ground and smothered my face in cold kisses. Well, hang on: Kururi was the one that _actually_ got to me while Mairu ran to some nearby tree. I raised an eyebrow.

_Maybe she's finally lost it…_

"Ah, Iza-nii!" she said hugging the hard bark, "Hey, you could use a diet…and some skin products!"

I pushed my crimson eyes towards the more "quieter" of the two. Kururi felt the confused stare and spoke softly.

"Nee-chan (Mairu)…blind (can't see)…"

"What's do you mean she can't see?" I asked honestly confused, "I thought she just got an eye exam not too long ago for the next school semester."

"Cold (The weather)…Air (It's fogging up her glasses)…"

"Oh…" I replied, scratching the back of my head. Seeing Mairu still hugging the tree, I reluctantly decided to call to her. People were starting to stare…

"M-Mairu! I'm over here!"

The younger twin stopped her public display of affection to look towards the sound of my voice.

"Near the bench!"

She broke into a huge smile and ran to me without a second thought. She almost missed me again, but the older brother in me felt sorry for her and I scooted in her direction, allowing her to throw herself onto me.

"Oh, Iza-nii!" she shouted rubbing her face in my shirt, "I thought you'd be dead by now!"

"What would make you think that?"

The girl's ponytail swished when she lifted her head and gave a simple answer.

"Prayer. The faster you die, the faster we meet Yuuhei."

"Oh, get off of me!" I grumbled shoving her away. She glared but realized that there was a huge baby stroller next to her. She peeked inside, as Kururi followed suit, and they gave a little squeal.

"Ah!" Mairu gasped, "Aw, where did you get a plushie of Shizuo-san?! I want one, even though, a Yuuhei plushie would be better-"

"Nee-chan (Mairu)…" Kururi cut in, "Infant (This is a baby)…Clean (Wipe your glasses again)…"

Mairu blinked and did what she was told.

"Oh, it is a baby!" she said peering in closer, "It still looks a lot like Shizuo-san! Does Iza-nii have that much of an obsession with Shizuo-san that he'd go as far as to steal a baby that **looks** like Shizuo-san?!"

I shook my head wildly and picked Kishou-chan up and out of their reach, despite their protests.

"First of all, I do NOT have an obsession with Shizu-chan. Secondly, I did NOT steal this baby-"

"-Then where'd ya get him?"

"I'm not finished." I snapped, clutching onto Kishou-chan tightly, "Thirdly, about two weeks ago, I found him out in the street by himself, and so far, no one has claimed him. Therefore, I've been taking care of him this whole time, and his name is Kishou!"

Their brown eyes blinked innocently, and I caught a hint of a devilish sparkle in both of them.

"…C-Can we hold Kishou then?" Mairu asked sweetly.

"**Hell to the no**."

"Huh?!" she dropped her mouth as if there was no reason for my straight answer, "Why not?!"

"You guys don't know the first thing about taking care of an infant," I retorted, "Who knows what you might do…"

"Mean (Iza-nii's being a meanie)…" Kururi mumbled.

I scoffed, "'Protective' is more like it!"

"Just for thirty seconds pleeeeaaaassse?!" Mairu whined.

_…Jesus Christ and Heaven with God…_

"Thirty seconds – you got that?" I said carefully handing my baby over to them. They nodded eagerly and squealed once they had him in his hold.

"Oh, you're so cute~!" Mairu cooed, "Isn't he, Kuru-nee?!"

The elder twin nodded, "Fat (He's so chubby)…"

"26, 25, 24…"

The twins bounced him up and down, making Kishou-chan giggle and smile. They gave him sweet Eskimo kisses to warm up his cheeks, but I huffed and continued to count down. Before I could even check the clock on my phone again, I heard my sisters make a distressed sound.

I looked up, "What is it? What'd you do?"

Both Mairu and Kururi had a queasy look on their faces and held Kishou-chan at arm's length.

"Um…Iza-nii?"

"What?"

"Baby (Kishou-chan)…stink (he smells)…"

I raised an eyebrow and took Kishou-chan out of their arms.

"Oh, wow…" I said after sniffing him, "O-kay, no problem. I'll take care of it."

"Quick (Please hurry)…" Kururi added, pinching her nose along with her sister.

Luckily, Shinra gave me an extra towel before I left, and since there was practically no one around, I laid the towel flat out on the bench and put the baby down on it.

"Alright, just hold still for a sec…" I said while rummaging through the baby bag to get the wipes and another diaper. He squirmed a bit on the uneven surface but did what he was told. Slowly, I undid the first and second tab and cautiously opened the diaper.

I swear my twin sisters almost fell back from the scent, but even so, I pressed on, taking it off and closing it into a ball tightly.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you, Kishou-chan?" I asked sweetly while cleaning his bottom with the wipes. I held out the balled-up dirty diaper to my sisters.

"Aw, how in God's name did it shoot all the way up there – is that normal?!" Mairu exclaimed looking at Kishou's bare butt.

"Shut up and get rid of it." I ordered, and they hesitantly took it into their hands and ran to the nearest trash can.

"They deserve to get their hands a little dirty, don't they?" I babbled, "It's okay – they get on Mommy's nerves, too."

Kishou-chan stared at me for a second or two and suddenly smiled. I could barely contain myself when he started to squeal and reach up to me. I blew raspberries on his face and tummy while I put the fresh diaper on.

"Who's Mommy's little baby? Huh?! Who's Mommy's little baby?!" I cooed making him laugh harder. After finishing him up, I put his pants back on and the twins came back.

"Final (Is he done?)…" Kururi asked.

I lifted Kishou-chan off the towel and rolled the towel up while placing the baby on my hip.

"Yeah, he's all clean~!" I said kissing his cheek.

"Iza-nii, we saw an ice cream stand over there! Can we get some, please?" Mairu pleaded with girly eyes.

"You got money?"

"Negative (No)…"

I sighed while pulling out my wallet, "You two are lucky that I was already about to get Kishou-chan some ice cream…"

I handed the baby over in their arms again and leaned into their faces with a death-like expression.

"You guys lose him and your lives are over – **do you understand me?**"

Both girls nodded fiercely, and I walked down the path towards the little stand.

"I swear…"

**Shizuo POV**

"Happy, babby baby~! Happy, wappy baby~!" Mairu babbled bouncing my feet on her legs. I had to admit, it was like the show _Hamtaro_: enjoyable and annoying at the same time. My giggles said otherwise, as they continued to smother me with their love.

"Hey," Mairu said to her sister, "Since this is now Iza-nii's baby…does that make him our nephew…?"

Kururi seemed to think about it for a moment, then she finally nodded. This made the twins squeal again and bounce me some more. I was seriously about to puke, and apparently I made the "cutest" baby sick face.

"Cute (He's so adorable!)…" Kururi added, and all three of us laughed.

In the middle of this, however, two heavily-scented cloths were forced over the twins' faces. They tried to scream but the noise was muffled as the rough hand pushed the rag harder. I whimpered and tried to hold on to their clothes, but they became dazed moments later and limply dropped me off the bench.

"That's a girl…" a gruff voice said mockingly in their ears. The man set his cold gaze on me and snatched me in a flash. As my hands and feet dangled from the rough position, I tried to wail, but I was a bit dizzy just from smelling the chloroform.

"Aw, shaddap!" the assailant shouted, "Or I'll do to you what I did to that other kid!"

I ignored him and managed to make a few screeches. I think I heard a groggy yell come from Mairu, but the man was already a far distance away. I recovered from some of the effects from the drug, but all I could do was flail my arms and make weak cries.

"KISHOU!"

The kidnapper stopped abruptly and gave a shout of pain. He arched his back and fell to the ground. I was thrown from his grasp and rolled several feet away from the criminal. I tried to gain some power in my arms to push me up, but my strength was becoming piss-poor and the effort was futile. I did, however, get a good look at what stopped my kidnapper. I widened my eyes to see a familiar flick blade lodged deeply in the man's back.

"D-damn it…" the man grumbled trying to crawl away, but his departure was cut short by a foot stomping right on the hilt of the blade, making the assailant scream.

Let me start by saying this: Izaya and I always say "I hate you" to each other, but he's always smirking, laughing, or toying with stuff when we say it. In other words, I'm always the one that's angry, but to this day, I have **never** seen the informant so blazed in my entire life.

It was almost…_scary_. _Terrifying_, really.

The auburn eyes that usually have a cat's glint, a child's mischievous sparkle, or a tender warmth in them were literally burning with rage and pure hatred.

If I could, I would've ran.

Izaya spoke through bared teeth, straining to get his words out in the most civil way he could.

"Get away, right now." He seethed while digging his heel into the blade, "I won't hesitate to stick one in your ass if you don't."

He removed his foot and kicked the man's side, leaving him to scuttle away in shame on his hands and knees with blood dripping off his back. I breathed out the breaths that I'd forgotten about holding. I panted from the scene I just witnessed and a drop of sweat slithered its way down my face. Izaya turned his attention to me and hurriedly picked me up, holding me close to his chest.

"Oh, Kishou!" he cried out, "Oh, my God, my baby, are you alright?! Please tell Mommy you're okay!"

I whimpered and tried to climb onto him as closely as I could. He cupped my cheek in his hand and flinched when I made a sharp whine.

"You _are_ hurt…" he said in a death whisper as his inspected the bruise on my cheek. He hugged me tightly again and started to cry. Tears were forming in mine as well from the frightening experience.

"Kishou-chan…" he sobbed, "M-Mommy is so…so sorry…if anything would've happen to you, I'd…I'd…"

His heartbeat turned erratic as it did when he tried to put me up for adoption. I honestly thought he'd have a heart attack, or at least a panic attack. With all that's happened swimming through my head, I couldn't hold it in. I burrowed my head against his chin as I hiccupped before crying.

"Mmm…ma…mama…" I whimpered out, "M-Mama…Uwaaaaaah!"

"Yes, Kishou-chan, I'm your mommy," the informant replied through his sobs, "Shh, shh, it's okay…Mommy's not gonna let that mean man…or anyone else hurt you, 'kay? Mommy will always protect you, so it's alright…shh…"

He hummed my favorite song again and began to walk back to the bench which was a little ways away.

"Nngh…" I whined with some stray tears falling, "Aah…waah…"

"Shh…" Izaya rubbed my back, still humming the song and eventually we reached an almost-fully-conscious Mairu and Kururi, both on the verge of bursting into tears.

"Aah…I-Iza-nii…" Mairu sniffled, "W-We're so…we're so-"

Their older brother cut her off by hugging both of them with his free arm, kissing their cheeks.

"No, no, no, no…none of this is you guys' fault," he whispered reassuringly, "Kishou-chan's okay – he only has a little bruise from the fall. Are you two alright?"

Even after nodding, the twins began to sob in their big brother's arms, their shoulders shaking as they did.

"You (Iza-nii)…fright (we were so scared)…"

"I know, I know, but it's okay now. You're safe with me." Izaya said soothingly with more tears running down his face, kissing them over and over again, "I love you Mairu, Kururi. Despite all the mean things I say…you must remember that I'll fight for you both…no matter what."

I'd stop crying long before they started again and began falling asleep once Izaya had calmed them both and sent them home. Listening to him hum to me on the way to his own Shinjuku apartment got me thinking.

It was the first time I've ever been so scared in my life.

* * *

**Happy Thanksgiving, you guys! One thing to be thankful for is your unwavering support. Don't ever think that your reviews are overlooked, because without them, I wouldn't have the heart to continue this fic~! Love you! :D**


	16. Where is Shizuo Heiwajima?

**Shizuo POV**

This is all just so…stupid, in a way. Or…maybe I'm the stupid one? Any therapist I just might go to after all this is over would say that none of this was my fault, especially if Izaya turns up dead. I wouldn't believe any of that crap seeing as though that's what they're paid to do, to tell people they don't even know personally about their problems. Maybe it _was_ accidental? Should I have waited for someone to find me instead of wandering out on my own?

Uh, hell no.

But I wasn't going to even try to explain to anyone what happened to me when I changed that day either. I know I'm rambling, but this is really tearing me up. And more importantly, why do I feel guilty about the possibility of breaking Izaya, the guy I've hated for most of my life, apart?! Damn infant side effects…Shinra had better find this cure quickly because each day it's getting harder and harder for me to act like myself.

"Kishou-chan?" Izaya piped leaning in my face, giving me nose a kiss, "You alive?"

I blinked and realized that a pacifier was being pressed against my lips as I was cradled in Izaya's arms. I must've been nodding off since I saw the blurry figure of his Shinjuku apartment right in front of us.

"Kishou-chan?" Izaya tried again, bouncing me a bit. He smiled when I let out a tired coo.

"I know you're tired, baby, "he said softly rubbing against the purpling bruise on my cheek. I winced at the contact but he brushed his lips against the tender spot in an attempt to ease the pain.

"Mommy is, too…´then he sighed, "But, maybe we should take care of that boo-boo first, _ne_?"

He held me tighter and made his way into the apartment building. When he reached his door, he hesitated to touch the knob, probably afraid of what his secretary would say. Eventually, he got the confidence to open the door to his own place and walked in with his back straight in a proud manner.

"Namie," he called out, "Namie, are you here?"

Surprisingly, there was no response, and even stranger, there wasn't a trace her perfume that showed that she was here recently. Normally, the scent was so strong that it lingered for a while even after she leaves.

"Huh…" Izaya pondered before walking around her work area for a bit. As he scanned her desk, he set his eyes on a sticky note with some quick writing on it. Putting me one his hip, he removed the note from the desk and read it aloud:

_Orihara, sorry for this (not really) but Seiji has caught something really bad, and it's not like __she's__ going to do anything about it...I'll be taking my leave for about a month…maybe two. Who knows?_

Izaya stared at the note for a few seconds, then scoffed, crumpling it up in his hand.

"She's even more irritating in writing…" the informant said to himself, "But…this couldn't be more convenient."

And I couldn't agree with him more…

"C'mon, Kishou-chan," Izaya said to me while heading towards the bathroom, "Mommy will fix that boo-boo on your cheek, 'kay?"

He set me on the sink and ducked under into the cabinets to get the first aid kit. He set the container out then opened it, taking out a box of Band-Aids and some type of cream that would help with the pain. He also got an alcohol bottle and some cotton balls.

"Okay, sweetheart," Izaya said soothingly, drenching one of the cotton balls in alcohol and dapping it on the sore spot, "This won't hurt a bit. Mommy will make it all better."

It was indeed getting better with each stroke, and it felt even greater when the cream was applied to the wound. I had no idea what it was, but it worked wonders for me. Izaya smiled at the sign of content on my face and put the Band-Aid over the bruise. Making sure it was set on properly, he sweetly kissed the bandage.

"There, how's that feel, Kishou-chan?"

I reached my arms out for him to hold me, and he gladly accepted the request. Bouncing me in a soothing manner, he went back downstairs and sat me down in the playpen for a moment. He made a short search for the remote control, and holding it under his arm, he laid out my bunny blanket on the floor close to the TV. He went back to the playpen and picked me up and placed me on the blanket.

"Okay, baby boy," Izaya said putting the pacifier in my mouth again, "Can you be a good boy and watch some TV while Mommy catches up on some work? Hmm?"

I smiled, and he lightly kissed my bandaged cheek again. While walking back to his desk, he pressed the button on the remote to turn the television on. Immediately, the news was on, posting random, recent headlines (as if you need to watch the news just to find out what's going on in Ikebukuro), but the first one caught not only my eye, but Izaya's as well.

"In other news, the people of this city are wondering the "Fortissimo or Ikebukuro's whereabouts. Reports show that Shizuo Heiwajima has not been seen in this district for almost a month. Of course, that can be proven by the lack of city property flying around randomly on the streets…or people for that matter."

I rolled my eyes. _When are people gonna learn that I'm actually capable of being a decent person?_

"All joking aside, the effects of his disappearance have surprisingly resulted in some worried civilians. Even though Mr. Heiwajima can withstand injury beyond human capabilities, it is possible he could be in trouble, or worse. So far, a missing persons report has not been filed."

I sat there for a second.

People…are worrying about me?

I'm…I'm not dead and at the moment, I'm not in any danger…but how can I tell them that? I thought it would better to just lay low for a while and hope it didn't become noticeable, but this newscast has completely said otherwise.

I didn't get to see Izaya's reaction when another headline popped up. Apparently, the man who tried to kidnap me was found lying near a hospital after crawling all the way there, not dead, but critically injured. I'm sure they got the flick blade out, but he was arrested right after treatment for having a part in the kidnapping and murder of that other child…the one whose parents gave all the baby stuff to Izaya in gratitude. It only scared me all over again, since the fact is, if Izaya hadn't shown up when he did, I probably _would_ be in trouble for real.

I heard Izaya sigh and looked back to see his face planted in his hand.

"This is just crazy…" he says to himself, "Where the hell is that brute…?"

I widened my eyes. _Izaya's worried about me, too?! This __**is**__ crazy…_

Izaya sighed again and smiled at me, "Well, just 'cause you look like that protozoan doesn't mean you're anything like him. In fact, you're the complete opposite, Kishou – my favorite human in the whole world."

I blushed and hung my head low, most likely in shame. Why did that last thing he said hurt me so bad?

Thankfully, he didn't catch it and flipped the channel to some kid's show.

"There, baby~!" Izaya cooed, "Stay right there and be a good boy while Mommy gets some work done!"

I groaned. The educational programs that Izaya has tortured me with for the longest did the exact opposite of what they were made to do. I swear, each second that passed in the show, my brain felt like its IQ was dropping ten points apiece. I really wasn't in the position to argue since Izaya rushed over to his desk once he had me settled, so I sighed and leaned into the show.

It was torture all right, and I found myself actually counting the numbers and reciting Hiragana over and over and **over** again.

"Hai~! Let's go again!" the chick piped, who was _way_ too old to be in pink overalls and bow-tied pigtails, "Ichi…ni…san…!"

_GOD, make it stop…! _I yelled in my head, almost drooling on myself from boredom and possibly utter stupidity.

Then, as if my guardian angel had come to help my woes, the doorbell buzzed a few times. Izaya raised an eyebrow and got up from his chair. I was thinking that it was another client or maybe even his secretary had come back. I was shocked to find that it was neither.

It was Kasuka.

No, Kasuka would never go in smelling distance of Izaya since I made him promise that he wouldn't. It means that he's about to worry himself sick over where I am, and the apprehensive look on his normally expressionless face made my stomach churn.

"K-Kasuka?" Izaya inquired, then softened his eyes, "…I can only guess why you're here."

My brother nodded, "Yes, may I come in?"

Izaya nodded and motioned for him to come through the door and sit down on the couch. After doing so, Kasuka looked at my tiny figure on the blanket and gave a small smile.

"He's getting bigger." He remarked trying to start conversation. I know my brother only does that when he's something close to anxious. Izaya smiled too after getting his laptop and sitting next to Kasuka.

"Ah, he certainly is growing a lot, "Izaya replied glancing at me, "He's even trying to walk and speak."

Kasuka slowly nodded again, and I couldn't take it. I still had the binky in my mouth, but I started flapping my arms in discomfort and whined. Izaya widened his eyes at the sudden temper tantrum and blew kisses at me when the pacifier fell out of my mouth, increasing my cries.

"Aw…Kishou-chan~!" Izaya called, "What's the matter? You wanna come over here to me?"

I hushed my fuss, staring at him for a minute and tried to get on my feet again.

_One knee, two knees, one foot, two feet…_I kept repeating to myself. It was a little tough, but I finally stood on my wobbly legs. Izaya patted his hands on his lap while giving praise and encouragement, and I put one shaky foot in front of the other. I only had about a quarter left to go until I caught the solemn expression on my baby brother's face as he looked at me. I suddenly felt queasy and stumbled, expecting to feel my injured cheek connect with the rough carpet. Instead, I felt two warm hands catch me under my armpits. They weren't slender like Izaya's, so when I looked up, I found myself in my brother's arms.

We gawked at each other for a few moments, his dull mocha eyes into my innocent ones. Kasuka suddenly gave a pleading look towards Izaya.

"It's okay, you can hold him." Izaya said almost amused, "He'll like it even more if you cradle him in your arms."

Kasuka did just that, warming me up in his hold and looking me straight in the eyes. He added a slight rock to the position and lightly touched the bandage on my face.

"If I may ask, Orihara-san, what happened to him?"

Izaya calmly told him what had happened earlier today, including the new information about the kidnapper. Kasuka gave my body a small squeeze after Izaya finished, even though I barely felt it since I was already falling asleep, and after getting permission from the informant, I felt him kiss my forehead lovingly.

"He's a tough kid." Kasuka whispered after a minute or two. I cooed a bit, clutching on to his T-shirt with a firm hand. There was a deep silence in the room for a good while, that is, until I felt something wet drop onto my face.

I opened one eye to see my baby brother's tears rolling down his cheeks. Kasuka's never been one to show emotion except on TV, so it was just so rare to ever see him cry. He wasn't much of a crier when we were both young either, so this is stll kinda new to me.

"Kasuka…" Izaya said seeing the clear teardrops fall off his face.

"Orihara-san…please find my big brother, "Kasuka murmured before his shoulders shook in a sob, "…He…he can't be dead, I know for sure that he isn't, but…this feeling…I can't even begin to imagine where he could be…"

Izaya never really showed his soft side to those who are technically referred to as clients, but either way, he pulled Kasuka's head to his chest and petted his hair. Any other day, I would've told the flea to get the hell away from my brother, but at this point, I could tell that Izaya's intentions were nothing but pure and comforting.

"…Okay, I will…and that's a promise. In return…don't tell Shizu-chan about any of this. I do have quite a bit of a reputation to keep up with, y'know. It's best that he still hates me as he's been doing since high school, since normally, I show this side of me to no one – you're quite lucky."

Kasuka nodded in the little tear-stained spot on Izaya's shirt.

"Have you tried calling him?"

"Yes," he sniffled, "He won't pick up."

"What about going over to his apartment? Surely, he'd give you a spare key."

"Yes, but when I got inside, his bartender clothes were all bunched up on the couch, which had a hole right through one of the cushions."

"That doesn't surprise me…"

"There was also quite a mess in the kitchen, but I finally found his cell phone in his pants pocket. That's all I can say…"

Izaya nodded still stroking Kasuka's brown locks, "I understand, and while it doesn't give a clear prediction of what might've occurred in there, I can already tell you that he's not dead. It just wouldn't make sense."

"I see…"Kasuka said shedding more tears, "Orihara-san…thank you…"

Izaya held him tighter when he sobbed again, and I couldn't do anything except hang on to his clothes.

_Don't worry, Kasuka – I'm coming back, but…there's something I have to do first._

* * *

**Shizuo: Finally, you update this story...geez...**

**Me: *acts like Grell* Well, what do you want me to do?!**

**Izaya: ...Update faster.**

**Me: (sigh) I'll try, but since the school semester is coming to a close, I have HUGE projects to do and tests to study for. Remember, academics come first~!**

**Izaya: Yeah, right...**

**Me: =.= Guys, please review so Izaya'll shut up...**

**Shizuo: Right there with ya...**


	17. From Bad to Worse

**Shizuo POV**

"Ah…this is so tiring!" Izaya whined while wiping the drops of sweat off his forehead, "Who knew dressing up a stupid tree would wear someone out so quickly?!"

_It shouldn't…_I thought rolling my eyes. Another few weeks had passed since Izaya found me on the street, and the weather was just brutal. However, I have to say that in spite of all the crap that's happened, Christmas can make it better. It was only one more day until the holly-jolly holiday reared its head, and Izaya was finally putting the finishing touches on the Christmas tree. I can tell he's never done it before, but he probably felt that since he has a child now, he should tell me about "Santa"…

Speaking of child, about a week ago, Izaya took me back down to the adoption center. I shuddered the whole time and thought that he'd try to give me up again, but it turns out he went to look through and sign a bunch of papers saying that he can keep me legally. It took about a good hour or two to get through the whole stack, but even though his normally pale hand was blood red from all the writing, he had joyful tears in his eyes when he finally signed the last document and took me home, finally his to keep.

It hasn't been too easy, to say the least. I've actually been trying to stay out of Izaya's way for a while now, but he's dedicated to raising me just the same. His work load is probably stacked higher than Mt. Fuji since Ms. Namie hasn't come back in a little over a month like she wrote in her note, but he seems to be taking it down pretty well. I'm surprised he had any energy left to buy Christmas presents and a tree with some trimmings. Either way, Izaya might just have a heart attack from all this stress.

"_Oh, this just keeps getting worse and worse…_" I mumbled playing with the chubby toes on my feet. I've been doing that a lot lately, mainly because I'm starting to have troubles with my reading and numbers. One day last week, I told Shinra about it, and he said that it was definitely not something good. I'm starting to believe that if he doesn't cure me quickly, then I just might stay an infant forever.

The last thing that I need is problems with my speech, and I can already tell that it's the next thing on the list. How could this situation get any worse?

I flinched when something trickled around my legs. I shifted and sniffed myself.

Yep…just got worse.

Izaya must've heard the little tinkling sound, too, and he gave an amused grin.

"Kishou-chan, did you go pee-pee again?"

I scowled. At first, the "going" in the diaper was beyond embarrassing, and I still haven't gotten used to it. I never said anything about the wipes, though…

Izaya coiled up the extra Christmas tree lights and picked me up from the spot next to his foot.

"Okay, okay," the informant cooed in my ear, "Mommy's gonna get you all clean~"

He took me up to the bathroom, set the towel on the sink, and put me on it. After getting another diaper and a wipe, Izaya shimmied off my pants and pulled the tabs apart. I didn't mind that the bathroom was a bit cool, probably because my body's been feeling a bit warmer than usual.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Kishou-chan~!" he teased while wiping me down, "You must've really had to go!"

It wasn't that, in fact, I could barely tell when I had to pee anymore. It just…I dunno, came out…

Izaya put the fresh diaper on me and kissed my toes, "No matter! Kinda early to start the whole potty training thing, anyway…"

I sighed as he pulled up my pants, and he carried me back downstairs to the living room. Izaya groaned when he saw that the tree still had ways to go, but his complaining was interrupted by his cell phone ringing.

"Hello?" Izaya answered while putting me on his hip and balancing the phone between his shoulder and his ear.

"Hiya, Izaya-kun!" I heard Shinra's chipper voice through the speaker, "Merry Christmas~!"

"Wish I could say the same…" Izaya grumbled while attempting to put some more ornaments on the tree, "This is so frustrating! I don't see how people do this year after year and never get tired of it."

"Well, if you think that's bad, last-minute Christmas shopping will be a living hell to you." Shinra retorted.

"Can't be like Black Friday, though."

"Oh, IT CAN."

All three of us shuddered at the thought of shopping on the two busiest times of the year. The crowds, the pushing, the yelling, carts rolling with loud, need-a-desperate-oil wheels this way and that, people shoving numbers and coupons in your face every five or ten minutes – UGH! It made the headache that I didn't even know I had even worse...

"T-to change the subject, how's Baby Kishou?" Shinra asked happily, "A little birdy told me not too long ago that you finally adopted him – and when I said a little birdy, I mean my delicate dove~ !"

"…Uh-huh, so in other words, Celty told you?"

"Yup! That's so amazing! Izaya Orihara has a little baby all to himself- who would've thought?!"

Said raven chuckled and nuzzled me with his ticklish hair, "Oh, shut it. It's not that big of deal…"

"Oh, okay…" Shinra said skeptically, "Anyway, Celty wanted me to call you to ask if you want us to come over for a visit. Besides, you sound as if you could use some help over there…and plus, I was trying to get in contact with Shizuo about celebrating Christmas with us. I know you might not care about this, but…I really hope he's okay…"

Izaya took a pause and sighed. He gave into Kasuka's wishes and searched rigorously for any scrap of information on my whereabouts that he could find. Of course, he came up with nothing that wasn't already known, but he's still on his laptop searching my name for hours at a time. I'm sure he'd never tell Shinra about how he's really been coping with my absence, although, it's probably best that he doesn't know.

"Yeah, yeah, I know…" Izaya replied, "Sure, I'll be ready in a bit. I just gotta get this freakin' tree all patched up, and I'll be here waiting."

"Great!" Shinra piped, "See ya then!"

"Later."

Izaya whipped his head to take the phone off his shoulder and pressed the "OFF" button with his free hand. He put it back in his pocket and held me closer.

"Well, he sounds deep in the Christmas spirit, doesn't he?" he asked me with a lifted eyebrow.

I didn't respond, only showing my expression behind my giant mocha eyes. For some reason, I suddenly didn't feel like babbling, cooing, or anything else that babies do. After wiping my eyes a few times, I wanted my pacifier, just out of the blue.

"Kishou-chan, is there something wrong?" Izaya asked, his tone showing much concern.

I only gave a low whimper and started to fuss. Izaya kissed my cheek and bounced me a bit.

"Ohh, baby!" Izaya cooed, "What's the matter? Are you hungry?"

It only made me more irritable that he didn't get it. My face turned red, and I fussed even louder, eventually turning it into a cry.

"Waaah! Uwaaaaaaah!" I cried on and on. It only made me feel worse as my cheeks heated up as well as the rest of my face again. Izaya put me over his shoulder and patted my back soothingly.

"Shh, shh, shh…Mommy will make it better …" he hushed before humming for a little while. It calmed me down slightly, but I still whined. He picked up the little blue pacifier and popped it in my mouth. He flinched for a moment, then touched my cheek again.

"Hmm…maybe it's because it's too warm in here…" he pondered before walking over and turning the heater down in the apartment.

"Is that better, Kishou-chan?" he asked petting my blonde hair. I didn't even respond as my eyelids felt sore and heavy as they closed. The soft sucking from the binky calmed me down tremendously. Izaya smiled and sat down on the couch, rocking me slowly as I napped for a while.

Twenty minutes passed and there was a buzz at the door, waking me up with a start. The noise sounded even louder and more annoying than usual, and I writhed in the informant's arms in discomfort.

"Shh, it's okay, baby…" Izaya whispered while getting up and going to answer the door, "It's just Shinra and Celty, Kishou-chan!"

I said nothing aside from a weak whine. Right now, I feel like absolute shit, and I have no idea why.

**Izaya POV**

I wonder why Kishou-chan seems so fussy today…his cheeks look more flushed than usual and he's not smiling as much. I didn't have time to think about it since Shinra and his headless wife were waiting on the other side of the door, and let me day that I wasn't too surprised to see the ecstatic look on the doctor's face when he busted through the door, nor was I too happy about it either...

"Merry, merry Christmas, Izaya-kun~!" he shouted with a huge grin. He suddenly doubled over in pain when he realized that Celty jabbed him in the rib.

[Shinra! You're scaring the baby!] Celty typed out frantically. I rolled my eyes and led them into the living room. After sitting on the couch, Shinra covered his mouth instantly and rubbed Kishou-chan's forehead.

"Ooh…I'm sorry, kiddo…!" he fumbled out nervously, then his expression turned to one of realization. He rubbed his forehead again, this time a bit slower. Kishou-chan gave a whine but was half-asleep with the teat in his mouth.

"Hmph…" I heard him mumble under his breath.

"I'm sorry, "I apologized in a low whisper as , "Ever since this morning, he hasn't really been acting like himself."

"I see…" he responded quietly taking his hand away from the baby's face, "Well, I can tell that this is a tough kid."

[I can, too. He's been walking and talking a bit more, hasn't he?]

I nodded proudly and played with Kishou-chan's nose.

"Yep! He can stand on his own now, and if I set him down, he could walk to me if I call his name and clap."

"Oh, really?!" Shinra exclaimed ruffling the baby's blonde hair, "Well, how's about we see a little demonstration?"

[Yeah, show us, Kishou!]

I thought about it for a minute. Kishou-chan was already awake from all the madness and spit the pacifier out. He didn't cry but just squirmed. Maybe a little exercise would release all that energy…it was settled.

"Okay~!" I squealed, picking up my little baby in my arms and setting him straight on the carpet. As I said before, he stood as tall as he could and wiped his eyes. He wobbled a bit but stood his ground. Making sure he was in a good place, I walked some ways away from him and got on my knees, patting the floor and clapping.

"C'mere, Kishou!" I called, "C'mere to Mommy! Come on!"

Celty and Shinra joined in on the encouragement as well, and soon, despite the sudden look of tiredness on his face, he took a few steps forward. I cheered him on, my red orbs squeezing tight from all the excitement, but when I opened them again, I knew something was off. Kishou wobbled as if he were disoriented, and his face was flushed and red with sweat.

"K-Kishou, what…what's wrong?" I said almost breathlessly.

My baby hung his head toward the ground and he whimpered in pain. Suddenly, he couldn't hold himself up and almost collapsed. Luckily, Celty and I caught him by his arms just in time. I held him up to my chest, but he already passed out.

"K-Kishou! Kishou, tell Mommy what hurts!" I yelled to him while stroking his head furiously, "Is it here?! Please tell me what's wrong!"

Celty did the same to try and get him to respond while Shinra rushed down to help. The doctor touched the baby's head and widened his eyes.

"…He has a high fever…!"

* * *

**Me: ...Hmph, told ya' I'd do it!**

**Shizuo: Yeah, this is wonderful. You write ME to get sick-**

**Izaya: -AND around Christmas, too?! Man, that sucks!**

**Shizuo: Not helping.**

**Me: Ladies, ladies, chill! But luckily, I got a chapter in before my birthday on the 24th. Ah, such a wonderful birthday~! My mom told me that I was actually eight days late and she had to stay in the hospital an extra two days because I wouldn't drink any milk, blah, blah, blah...*continues to ramble***

**Izaya: *clears throat* Yeah, okay, whatevs - please review...and fast - she's getting REALLY annoyng...**


	18. Sleep

**Shizuo POV**

"...shou…Kishou, c'mon…you gotta stick with me, buddy. Just try to relax while I do this - keep still for a bit…good…that's a boy – just a little more…"

_Shinra's…calling to me… he's doing something weird to me, but…why can't I hear him clearly?_

"Good boy, Kishou…" I hear Shinra say again. I feel something wet press against my forehead, and I realize it's a damp cloth. I'm trying to think about if the water that's running down my face is coming from the cloth or if it's my own sweat. As of right now, I can't even think about what's happening to me. I look around me, and I find that I'm on Izaya's bed, but Shinra's the only one that's with me.

"Alright, you did so well, Kishou." He says with a small smile, pulling the thermometer out, "You gave us quite a scare."

I look up at him with glazed eyes while he puts my diaper back on. When he looks at the thermometer, it's almost like he breaks out in a cold sweat. I try to ask what's got him so jittery, but it all comes out in a moan. Shinra nodded once me noticed me and turned to make sure that no one was listening.

"_Shizuo_," he whispered, "_Don't be alarmed, but…_"

I moaned again but made out something, "_Wha…what happened?_"

"_You collapsed out there when you were trying to walk. Izaya made me carry you in here, and I checked you out thoroughly,_ "he explained, "_But I think we may have a bigger problem…_"

He hesitated for a minute, then spoke again, "_The fever, the sweating, and you've been coughing quite a lot while unconscious – I believe it's Pneumonia._"

My eyes widened slightly, "_Shinra, you can't be-_"

Something suddenly caught in my throat, and I coughed violently. Shinra flinched and flipped on my side so he could pat my back. I actually felt like I was choking, but I heard a bust through the door and saw Izaya run in like a rabbit being hunted.

"Kishou!" he called coming to my bedside, "Kishou-chan, listen to Mommy's voice, okay?! Can you hear me?!"

He rushed next to me and grabbed my hand, which was flailing in the air. He gave it a couple of kisses and squeezes and rubbed my cheek in synch. Eventually, I hacked and finally my coughs died down a little. Izaya sighed in relief and fell onto the covers, defeated.

"Shinra…" he mumbled, "What the hell is wrong with him? Tell me."

The doctor sucked in a shaky breath and toyed with his glasses.

"Izaya…his fever is 105.2°F and this…almost suffocating cough, it's…well…"

"Just tell me."

"…My diagnosis is Pneumonia."

Izaya sat straight up and stared at Shinra as if he were joking.

"…You're…you've gotta be lying."

"Izaya…"

"No, you're joking, alright? There's no…there's no way…"

"Listen, babies can typically get this around this time of year. It doesn't have to be a stray factor, but…"

"But _what_?"

"…If Kishou's fever doesn't lower by the morning…my worst fear is that he won't-"

"**Stop.**" Izaya's voice suddenly became dark, and aside from my sudden chills, I started shaking.

"I don't care about all that – he'll be fine. Nothing will happen to him, I can swear my life on it."

The informant seemed to have a talent for making people speechless with bold words, so when Shinra finally regained his senses, he gently touched Izaya's back.

"Well, I believe you. Celty went out to go get some medication and should be back any minute, and you have our numbers if anything happens."

"Thank you, Shinra." The words were muffled because Izaya had his head buried in his folded arms, but they were heard, "Is there anything else?"

"Not really, just don't leave him alone for too long. If he has another one of those coughing fits, then just firmly pat his back and keep talking to him. The cloth on his head needs to be replaced every so often, but other than those things, that's all for now."

"Got it."

Shinra nodded, "Good, I should be going. Remember, don't hesitate to call either of us."

"Right."

Shinra was just about to leave but suddenly stopped in the doorway.

"...This may be the wrong time to ask, but...have you found out anything on that dairy company?"

Izaya lifted his head up slowly and sighed, "Not much, something about a new formula or whatever in the milk that was accidentally let out into the markets, but that's all there really was."

"Ah, well, thanks for that. I'm off."

Without so much as another word, the brunette was out the door. Once we heard the main door close, Izaya wasted no time in reaching for my hand and looking at me with tired, red eyes.

"Kishou-chan…" he spoke only slightly above a whisper, "Listen to Mommy for a second, okay?"

I could barely hear him, and I was so tired and drowsy myself. I wanted nothing more than to sleep this pain and sickness off, but the idea was absurd.

Izaya caressed my warm head and cheeks, speaking again, "Don't worry – you're gonna be just fine. I know it. You're Mommy's big boy, _ne_?"

I tried to reach out to him with my other hand but coughed a bit. The wheezing and the coughing hurts so bad in my throat that I can hardly grumble. Izaya squeezed my hand again and his voice broke.

"I know it hurts, baby, "he said as my breathing got shallow, "I really do. It's okay, though…Mommy's hurting, too…"

My eyes were shut tight as I struggled with my breath, and as the raspy noise continued, Izaya gingerly kissed the side of my head before his tears hit my face. I could tell he tried to wipe them away as fast as he could so he wouldn't worry me, but when I partially opened my brown eyes that showed so much pain and suffering, he burst into tears. He threw himself further onto the sheets as his shoulders shook from his sobs.

"Oh, God…!" he bawled into the comforter, "Kishou-chan! I…I am so sorry!"

His wails sounded louder than they already were, making my head throb even worse. However, there was nothing I could do at the moment. My body felt like it was slowly…I can't even find a word for it anymore…sinking. I've never been this sick before in my entire life, not even when I was actually a child. At this point, even I don't know whether or not I can make it through this. Only thing I can do now is sleep…

**Izaya POV**

Is this…a sign? Am I really not cut out to be Kishou's parent? At the moment, I find myself praying to the God that I supposedly don't believe in, and I wouldn't complain if He decided to take me out right now. If that were to happen and my child ended up dying as well, we still would not meet again. I've done too much wrong.

I could bang my head against the wall at this very second, but I don't want to wake Kishou-chan. It's about the time he's normally fed again, but I just can't wake him up, not now. I can hear his shallow breathing through the door, even though the noise worse when I first sat outside of the room a few hours ago. I lean my head back on the piece of wood and fumble with my folded hands. It's the only thing I can do to stop them from trembling.

I give a soft sigh. Luckily, Celty came by after I pulled myself together from my crying fit, but the hard part was getting the baby to actually take the medication. I killed me that I had to force the stuff down his throat as he thrashed and bawled. Then, when I tried to feed him, he cried again, so hard that he started to choke. Witnessing that, I couldn't bear to stay in the room with him, even though Shinra advised me to. So that's why I'm here now, sitting and waiting for fate to give its word as my infant sleeps, but…it hurts.

A simple way to put it, but it hurts more than any stab, gunshot, or beating I've ever had. I'm not shedding blood, but this ache is killing me from the inside.

Is this what it means to be a parent? To have to take the good with the bad?

I wouldn't know, and my parents certainly wouldn't either.

"Shizu-chan…" I mumble stuffing my face into my hands.

...Now why did I say his name out of the blue like that?

This time…this whole time that I've spent with Kishou-chan has…plagued me with thoughts of Shizu-chan and I being together in happiness. I've had dreams of the brute and I, dancing away in some unknown place and finally, the day when I found out he'd been missing for a good while, the dreams keeps repeating over and over and over again. I thought spending a little extra time searching for dirt on Shizu-chan's whereabouts would give my mind a rest, but it's only made the dreams even seem more real. Some nights, I wake up with tears staining my pillow, and I never want it found out, but that protozoan…just might mean more to me that a stroke of free entertainment.

Maybe fate…sent me Kishou-chan to think over things with Shizu-chan…

Right now, I think, no, I **know** I want his arms wrapped around me, whispering in my ear that everything was going to be fine, that he's gonna make it.

"...What the hell is wrong with me?" I say as I chuckle bitterly, "I must be going mental…"

Whatever this case may be, I just need to get the brute out of mind. It's clear that such a thing will never happen and so I need to focus on making sure Kishou is safe and well again. Truth be told, I don't have the time nor the patience for any Ikebukuro chases anymore, and I'm glad I don't have to worry about them.

My eyes widen in fear when I hear Kishou's chokes as he strains to breathe. I stomp up from my spot and bust through the door, immediately rushing to the thrashing infant.

"Kishou-chan! Kishou-chan, listen to Mommy!" I cried out as I flipped him over and patted his back, "Mommy will make it better – just calm down!"

Tears ran down his cheeks as he wailed and coughed, his fever-flushed face turning even redder than before. Desperate, I lifted him up over my shoulder and rocked him, patting his back a bit harder. He squirmed violently, so I tried to talk him through the fit.

"Shh...Kishou-chan, just calm down. It'll be all over in just a few seconds, shh..."

He whimpered loudly, but the hacks softened and eventually stopped completely. However, Kishou began to cry again when I set him back down on the bed.

I pressed a second cool cloth to his head, "You must be hungry, Kishou-chan. You haven't eaten in a good while. Let's try it again, _ne_?"

Making sure the baby would be okay, I left to go prepare the bottle, only to come back to him refusing to suck the rubber top.

I pushed the teat on his lips as I sat back down on the bed with him in my arms, "Come on, sweetheart, please eat for Mommy…"

He uncomfortably twisted his head to avoid the bottle, and he pushed it away with his hands.

"Kishou-chan…you have to eat something…why won't you do it for Mommy?"

He starting squirming again and balled up his fists when he began to fuss.

"Uwaaaah! Waaaah! Waah! Waah!" he bawled.

I rocked him, placing the bottle on the nightstand and leaned in to hug him, "It's okay, it's okay…we'll try it again later…shh, shh…"

I held him tighter, reducing his cries and slowly tucked him into the blankets. He gave a slight cough and moaned as his eyes began to close.

I sighed and crawled next to him, kicking my shoes off in the process.

"That's right, baby…" I whisper to him as my arms reaches over to stroke his head, "Just rest if off a bit…Mommy's not going anywhere."

And so he did, with me waiting and watching the mocking clock as night fell. My tired eyes kept blinking as my hands continued rubbing the golden locks on the baby's head, and my heart raced at the dread of the sun coming up the next day. Fate would determine what was to happen tomorrow, but the conflicting thoughts were only making me even more tired.

Kishou-chan continued to sleep, with no more chokes or hacks during the fast-paced hours of the night, and soon I did, too.

* * *

**Merry Christmas, mah peeps~! This is one school break that I don't want going too fast - I got the DRRR! DVD Part 1! Gonna get the other two and some other crap loads of anime stuff with my B-Day money!**


	19. A Visitor

_Izaya-kun…_

_Izaya-kun…it's going to be fine…_

_Please don't cry…he'll make it…_

_Just come here…let me hold you…_

"Shi…Shizu…" I mumble in my sleep, "Shizu-chan…?"

When I feel the tears running down my face again, I knew it was time to wake up, but in truth, I didn't want to. That stupid dream…it's pulling me from reality, but is that such a bad thing?

Why wake up from a beautiful dream when it brings you more happiness than anything else in the real world?

Why face the real world like the living hell it is when you don't have to?

My eyes fling open and I jump up from my spot on the bed. I put a hand to my chest and I can feel my heart almost lift out of my skin as it beats unsteadily.

It's already morning.

8:09 AM, Christmas morning to be exact, and I stare into space, not daring to look to my side.

I don't hear anything else. Not a whine, not a whimper, not a cry – nothing but the sound of my own heart thumping.

I try, but I can't speak. Nothing's caught in my throat, but I was too afraid to even move. Eventually, I suck in a breath and call my baby's name.

"Ki…Kishou-chan…can you hear Mommy?"

I tremble when I don't get a response, and my eyes start to sting again.

"Kishou…don't scare Mommy, please say something…"

I don't hear a thing except my heart and a bird flying by my bedroom window – nothing more. I put a hand over my mouth to muffle any sobs, and I try once more. But…I find that I can't just rely on my own voice to reach his ears, or rather…I couldn't bear to keep talking without knowing if he's really alive or not…

Slowly, I turned to my right, and Kishou was in his same position as I set him the night before. He was pale, and sweat made his blonde hair stick to his face and forehead. His eyes were tightly shut, hiding his chocolate eyes. I didn't dare touch him, but I leaned my cheek close to his face.

It was cold.

"_Oh…oh, God…_" I break down and curl up over his body, gingerly picking the infant up in my arms and cradling him. The cloth on his forehead fell to the floor as I cried.

"Kishou…Kishou-chan…" I sob as I grab his hands and squeeze them, "It's okay…you're okay now, baby…you don't have to stay in this awful, awful world with Mommy anymore. You're gonna be fine, Kishou, and as long as you stay a happy baby and smile…Mommy…Mommy will be fine, too…"

I hug him tightly, crying loudly and not even bothering to wipe my tears away.

I knew from the start that I didn't deserve such a gift. It was too good to be true. One can only take solitude for so long – it's not something that a person should have to live with for the rest of their lives. That cold morning three months ago, I finally found something that I could love and hold and call my own.

A perfect child…smiling at me and calling me Mommy – I've secretly always wanted it… and I'll never forget any of it.

My own precious, precious thing…something that took away all my past pain and loneliness…

…gone.

**Shizuo POV**

…

…What the hell's wrong with the flea now?

He practically suffocating me…and he's…crying?

Oh, boy, not this again…

All I remember is that I woke up to see Izaya sobbing nonstop with me in his arms. He's crying so much that he could barely see a thing, not to mention he's rocking me back and forth, spouting something about an awful world…who knows?

It's true that Shinra said there was a chance that I might not make it before the morning, but the keyword is 'chance'. My fever is still there, but I'm sure it's not 105°F. I do feel sick, but not as bad as yesterday, and I can breathe a bit better.

Problem is…I don't think Izaya knows that.

I grunt, trying to make out something, but he can't hear me over his sobs. His tears dripped on my face again, making some of the color return to my cheeks. I can barely move because he's all over me, gripping my hands like no tomorrow.

So…basically…what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

"Oh, Kishou! Kishou-chan…!" Izaya cried and cried, and all this noise and the uncomfortable positioning, it's…it's making me feel all awkward and uncomfortable. I frowned and tried to squirm again, but no avail. I was getting frustrated, so frustrated that I just want to…

…cry.

DUH! A baby can't voice their problems – they cry to get what they want, right?! If Izaya can't hear a whine right now, he'll probably be willing to hear a good cry, especially from me. Why the hell didn't I think of it earlier?! Oh, yeah – Goddamn Pneumonia…

I curled my toes which were hanging off Izaya's lap and started to hiccup. I wriggled my feet and whimpered loudly, making Izaya flinch.

He sniffled and his eyes widened, "K-Kishou…chan…?"

His grip on me loosened, and once I realized that, I writhed to the best of my advantage and started to cry. It was a bit weak since my lungs weren't up to par at the moment, but, oh, it was noisy enough.

"WAAAAH! UWAAAAAAH! WAAAH!"

Izaya froze and brought a shaky hand to my cheek, caressing it slowly as if I were just an illusion. When I learned that I got his attention, I gradually hushed my fuss to let him take it in to avoid any sudden shock, but even that was probably too much to hope for.

"Oh my God…" he said barely above a whisper, "My…my baby Kishou…a-are you…"

I smiled and let out a loud coo, reaching for his face to touch his own cheek.

"Aaaaauuu….waaaaooooo…" I just made up sound after sound, and finally giggled when I ultimately felt his moist skin, wet by his tears, and patted it for his comfort.

"Waaaaiii~! Aaaaauuuuu!" I laughed happily. Most of this wasn't a front - after living with Izaya these past few months, I didn't like seeing him sad, upset, or angry, so it made me all…I dunno, fluffy and toasty inside when I could change his emotions right around. The informant, however, didn't say a thing, only staring at me with his mouth hung open.

He grabbed my tiny hand and rubbed it with his thumb. He leaned in closer to my face and his eyes seemed to swell up again.

"Kishou…" he spoke softly, "…C-can…can you hear Mommy?"

My own brown eyes widened in understanding, and I suddenly broke into a huge grin.

"Kyaaa…mm…Ma…Maaa…! Mama!"

Izaya gasped and grasped me tightly, holding onto me like he did before, except this time, out of joy.

"My God – my Kishou-chan!" he cried and kissed me, "Mommy's baby, you're okay! Aw, Kishou, you're okay! Oh, thank God…!"

He almost started to cry again, but when I felt his moisture coming out of his shut eyes, I made a noise of disgruntlement. He let out a small chuckle at this.

"Yes…yes, honey," he said as he held me up to look at me, "Mommy shouldn't be crying. You're a big boy, Kishou-chan, and Mommy should be happy that her baby's alive, _ne_?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and nodded, nuzzling my head in his chest. He sighed and hugged me closer, giving me another kiss.

"I'm so happy, Kishou-chan…Know this – despite everything I've just said, Mommy could never go on without you. You're Mommy's brave, big boy and…you're the only precious thing that Mommy has…can you remember that for me?"

"M…Ma?"

"Yes, I'm your Mommy, Kishou. You're doing so well, and sooner or later, you'll be able to talk to me, too…but for now…I think it's about time you had a little something to eat."

I blushed when he found out that my tummy had been rumbling since I woke up. Looks like my appetite came back, too.

Izaya smiled and laughed, "Let's go make baby a bottle, and then Mommy can call Shinra and tell him you're alright."

* * *

"Oh, Izaya, that's wonderful!" Shinra exclaimed through the phone, "In the back of my head, I knew he'd pull through! It's a Christmas miracle~!"

"You really think so?" Izaya questioned as he bounced me on his hip, "He's smiling a lot more now, but I really don't know his actual condition. Do you think I should come over there so you can check him out?"

"Hmm…take his temperature before you do. If it's 100°F or higher, I'll come to you. If you do come over here, wrap him up tightly and keep him warm – the chill in the air could still get to him."

Izaya heard the microwave go off and pulled the warm bottle out of it.

"Wait, wait!" Shinra said, "You're not bottle-feeding Kishou, are you?"

Izaya raised an eyebrow, "Y-Yeah…I haven't started, but it just finished preparing."

"Oh, no, no, no – don't let him suck the bottle right now. It'd be better if you had baby food to feed him – do you?"

"Well, those clients of mine did indeed leave me a bunch of baby food, but Kishou has never eaten any. Though you said yourself that he's almost one, I have no idea what his reaction would be. He sure does love milk…"

"Just to be safe, try it for today. I don't want that formula to go down the wrong pipe to his lungs. They're still kinda weak, right?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Alright, then just do that, and as soon as it's safe, my door is open!"

"Gotcha – thanks, Shinra! Oh, and Merry Christmas, you two~!"

"No prob – right back atcha!"

Izaya hung up after his cell phone beeped and placed the unused bottle on the counter.

"Well, now~" he chuckled while putting me in a high chair that was set up a few days ago, "We need to get you some food in your tummy, Kishou-chan! I know that baby must be so hungry, yes, he is~"

He turned around and got a bib from the kitchen drawer, tying it in a bow around my neck. I kicked my legs some and patted the slick area in front of me.

"Aaaaooo…baa…ba-ba…?"

Izaya, shocked at first, broke into a warm smile after grabbing a container filled with yellowish-orange mush from the kitchen cabinet, "Oh, that's a good boy, Kishou! But, no, no, not today, honey. See, Mommy can't give you ba-ba, but we're gonna give you some baby food. It's really yummy - lookie!"

I squinted my eyes at the little can. I couldn't read a thing that was on it, which made me beyond nervous, but Izaya read it out for me after twisting the top off and getting a small, cartoonish spoon.

"'Peaches' – they're sweet and good for a big boy like yourself, Kishou-chan!" he said, scooping some of the stuff on the spoon, "Now, open wide – say "aaah~!"

Personally, I have nothing against peaches – I mean, they're freakin' delicious, but at the moment, I was having a milk craving. A **major** milk craving at that. If I miss one day without the stuff, I'm in terrible mood – baby or adult - and add in feeling sick, I could just punch someone in the face for breathing.

I turned my head away from the spoon and looked up towards the ceiling. Izaya laughed.

"Aw~ C'mon, baby – open up. Eat-eat for Mommy, c'mon, Kishou-chan!"

I pouted, literally pouted, and hit my hands against the little high chair table in a fuss. Izaya's shoulders sank and mockingly poked his lip out, too. He tried again, pressing the spoon closer to my face.

"Please? Eat something, baby~! 'Aaaah…'"

I started to whine and shook my head in a furious "no", and the raven in front of me sighed. I caught on something and gave a few coughs, alarming him.

"Oh, goodness…still a bit warm…" he said stroking on my forehead with one hand and thumping my back with the other, "Well, would you rather have something else? Like another flavor?"

He got up to the cabinet again and looked through more baby food containers.

"Um, 'Peas'?

"Mm-mm!"

"Ah, 'Sweet Potatoes'?"

"Mm-mm!"

"How about 'Carrots'?"

"Mm-mm!"

"'Apples'? Shinigami like them!"

"…Mm-mm!"

Izaya facepalmed, "Well, Kishou, all I have left is 'Strawberries and Bananas'…"

Hmm…that didn't sound too bad…I still want milk, but apparently I wasn't gonna get any…

I nodded solemnly, and the informant beamed brightly before rinsing off the spoon.

"Okay, good~!" he cooed, unscrewing the top and raising some of the stuff to my lips, "C'mon, Kishou-chan – aaaah…"

I frowned but opened my mouth anyway. I felt the mush fall on my tongue and bounced it around, but in truth, it was actually pretty good. I licked the corner of my mouth and made a sound of delight.

"Good, huh?" Izaya giggled while dipping the spoon in again, "Want another bite? Open wide~"

This continued for about four or five more minutes until the canister was completely empty, and Izaya happily pulled me out of the chair to take me upstairs for a new change in clothing.

"Okay, good boy, good boy, "he said as he put me down on his bed and took my night onesie off, "Why don't we get that little diaper off, _ne_?"

Just as he was about to undo the sticky tabs, the doorbell buzzed. Izaya, first a bit surprised, sighed in exasperation and sunk his shoulders.

"Oh, crap, I forgot about that client!" he cursed to himself, "I thought I told her to call me before she got over here!"

Since the buzz at the door kept going and going, Izaya skipped putting clothes on me entirely and just wrapped me in the thick, bundled bunny blanket.

"There, that should be good," he said as he practically ran down the stairs with me over his shoulder, "Mommy knows you must be all comfy and warm, Kishou-chan~!"

It was _very_ cozy inside the fluffy shield from the outside world, but Izaya only held me tighter when he swung open the door to prevent the chill of the air from hitting me.

"Ah, Ms. Mizuki~!" Izaya chirped in his usual snarky voice, "Please come in!"

"Thank you – oh!" the woman gasped, "What a cute little baby! Is he yours?"

Izaya, this time, smiled warmly and shifted me into the crevices of his arms so she could see my face, "Yes, he is – Kishou's his name. You'll have to excuse him, though. He's not in the best of health at the moment."

I barely listened to a thing the raven was talking about, because I was **way** too busy staring at the woman in front of me. What was her name? Ms…Mizuki, right? Well, whatever – she was just…hot. So hot, my feverish cheeks turned even redder than before.

She got eye-level with me and tickled my nose after Izaya stepped aside to let her in.

"Oh…poor baby!" she cooed lovingly, "He's absolutely the sweetest, Orihara-san!"

I blushed even deeper. No joke – she was really pretty. It's been a while since I've seen such a woman as herself. I giggled and reached my arm out to her, cooing happily.

"Seems like he's taken an interest in you - oh, and please – call me Izaya," the informant said as he walked towards the living room. Ms. Mizuki followed and watched as Izaya slowly unraveled my blanket and put me in a doorway bouncy-jumpy thingy that faced his desk. It was supposed to be my Christmas present, but Izaya was too excited to wait to give it to me, so…

"You see bouncy-bouncy, Kishou-chan?" Izaya babbled as he put one chubby leg in before fixing the other one in the holes, then finally putting the blanket back on me. He pressed down on the thing and it slightly sprung back up, making it bounce a few times. I stuffed a hand in my mouth to stop a laugh, but Izaya seeing my obvious smile was enough for him to know I could be occupied for a while.

Hey, I've always wanted one of those when I was little…

Quickly grabbing the pacifier from the counter and popping it in my mouth, he motioned Ms. Mizuki to come to his desk, "Don't worry, he's a good boy. Not much of a crier unless he's hungry."

I giggled when Ms. Mizuki beamed at me before making her way into Izaya workspace. I just couldn't stop staring at her. I tuned out the whole meeting between the two, only breaking the barrier when they both took a small tea break after an hour had passed. Blowing me a kiss first, Izaya went into the kitchen and started to prepare the drinks (since Namie was still on leave), leaving Ms. Mizuki to watch as she stood by.

Both of us gawked at each other like that for a good while, which gave me a good chance to look at her full appearance. She couldn't have been more than twenty-five, but she was dressed in complete business professional clothes. Her long brown hair was like a chocolate color, close to my own hair color when I was younger, but her eyes were like two ice-blue crystals that sparkled and shined in light, not to mention she had a perfect figure with a "bigger-than-average" chest…It was just too much for me – I may be an infant now, but I'm still a man at heart.

I almost forgot I was sick, but I extended my hands out to her, begging for a good pick-up. Izaya caught note of this and nodded as he waited for the water to heat.

"Go ahead – pick him up! You know, this is actually the first time he's ever been so social with a client of mine," he said, "He's very distant from all of them, well, except for you, of course~ Just make sure you keep the blanket on him."

Well, that was true, 'cause most of the people who came through that door were either shady, hyper-sensitive, or just plain not-right, and I hated every one of them. For some reason, though, Ms. Mizuki was different – what in the world could she be here for? She was almost too pure to even be in Izaya's presence let alone ask for his help.

She chuckled and rose me up from the jumper, wrapping me up tightly in the blanket again, seeing as though I had nothing but a diaper on.

She bounced me on her hip, "Hi, baby~! Kishou, hey! You're such a good boy – I can tell!"

I nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck. Her perfume drove me crazy as she held me closer.

"You're cheeks are so fat! Does baby want a wittle kiss-kiss? Does he?"

Izaya snickered a bit as he turned his back to get the tea bags and cups from the cabinet. I froze.

Cue my trip to Heaven.

I did my best to scoot up close to her face, almost at the point of puckering my own lips. She laughed and eased in close to my face, about to kiss my pink chub of a cheek. Then suddenly, I moaned, throwing the pacifier out and to the other side of the room, and in the nick of time, I twisted my neck, and our lips met.

Her eyes widened greatly and she yelped, startled and shocked by the moved, but my eyes closed in bliss. I continued to kiss her, putting my small yet firm hands on the sides of her face, and in a quick reflex, I stuck my tongue in her mouth, almost groaning.

Listen – don't judge, alright? You'd be "frustrated" too if you had to go almost three months without paying any attention to your needs. The transformation didn't change _everything _about me, so like I said before, I'm still a grown man and a grown man can only hold back their instincts for so long…

Izaya, horrified, rushed over and snatched me out of the woman's arms. The fact remained that while I felt a lot better, I was still ill, and the last thing Izaya wanted was to have it spread around that the best informant in Tokyo is a carrier for Pneumonia. Ms. Mizuki gasped for air and wiped the corner of her cherry lips.

"Ah, Mizuki-san, I am **so** sorry about that!" Izaya fumbled out as he grasped me in his arms, "H-he's never done that before!"

The woman continued to pant, "No, no – it's alright! It was…all just a bit sudden – that's all!"

Izaya then turned to me and frowned, "Kishou, that is a big no-no! Why would you do that to Ms. Mizuki?"

I scowled and poked my lip out. This whole time, Izaya's never had to scold me before, and now that's he's doing it…I just don't like it. I only wanted to kiss the chick, not _do_ her…although…

No, I'm getting off track – anyway, it just didn't feel right or fair to me. I didn't even realize that tears were beginning to well up in my mocha orbs.

"Oh, Izaya-san, please don't scold him!" Ms. Mizuki pleaded, "I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. Besides, you said yourself that he's a good boy, right?"

The raven went over it for a minute, but his eyes softened when he saw an escaping tear roll down my face.

He patted the back of my head when he put me over his shoulder, kissing my cheek, "It's okay, baby. Don't cry…"

As he began to stroke my back, I heard Ms. Mizuki sigh.

"Ah…he's such a joy…I hope mine is as cute as he is."

I flinched. _So that's what it is…_

"I'm sure you'll have a beautiful child, Mizuki-san, "Izaya replied, "Six months ahead of you, right?"

"Yes…but it's not like 'Daddy' knows that…" she added bitterly, then I could've sworn her voice cracked, "How could he just…up and run like that? We planned this…and he promised me that…we'd get married …"

"He can't be that far away," Izaya said trying to comfort the woman without showing too much of his soft side, "You paid me a good deal to track him down, and I've narrowed his location to about two or three different cities, but I strongly believe he's in Ikebukuro right now."

"…Y-you really think so?"

"I won't lie to you – most people who weasel their way out of stuff stay put over there for a bit to figure out their next move. At least, that's how most of my client's targets end up being found…"

"Oh dear…well, just the same…thank you…for everything you're doing, Izaya-san. Even if he doesn't come back…I'm sure me and baby will be quite happy…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I finally noticed the tiny bump on her stomach as she caressed it with a tender hand, and Izaya began to rock me, kissing the side of my head again. He tensed up a bit and rubbed his hair against my face. I'm sure he was feeling uncomfortable with having taken on a job such as this, but he was technically and legally a single-parent now, feeling protective as ever over me.

I felt 100% safe with him, but really…how long can this go on?

* * *

**OOC? DUH - but I wouldn't be surprised. I always seem to write Izaya...like a chick - ALL THE TIME. I just can't get out of it!**

**Anyway - I made my bestie and her baby brother a Clannad dango plushie for New Years~! With my Granny's help of course, she got a pink one with blush and her brother (we call him Mini-Shizu-chan because he looks JUST like him when he was younger, plus his strength is just EPIC!) got a baby blue one. **

**I made myself one, too, a lime green, but all-in-all, we love them so much!**


	20. Call It Quits or What?

**A/N: Guys, no worries! This story's not over yet! A good 4 or 5 chapters ahead of us, maybe even 6. Just hang with me - until I label this story as complete, it will officially be complete! If I don't, then it's still going!**

* * *

**Shizuo POV**

After Ms. Mizuki left, Izaya went upstairs with me to put us in warmer clothes. He set me down on the bed covering me up in the blanket and searched through the closet. Suddenly, that bloaty-straining feeling came in my gut again and it started to hurt. I squirmed on my back, clutching onto the blanket, and poked my lip out.

Izaya turned around with a blue fleece onesie in his hands and went over to me, caressing my head.

"Kishou-chan, what's that pouty-lip for?" he asked, "Is baby okay?"

I only responded by squirming some more, making the feeling worse, and turned my whining into a full blown cry.

"Uwaaaaah! Wa-waaaaah!"

"Oh, Kishou, what's wrong?" Izaya said as he kissed my forehead and rubbed my tummy a bit for comfort.

"Oh…wait a second…" he said in realization, "Mommy didn't burp you after you ate – is that it?"

I cried louder, and the raven responded by picking me up lovingly and putting me over his shoulder.

"Shh…okay, okay…" he whispered, patting my back a few times, but suddenly he stopped. I whimpered in discomfort when he set me down back on the bed again.

"Mommy doesn't want to have you spitting up and coughing again," he said, "But there is something we can do about your tummy."

I raised an eyebrow, but then I relaxed when he put his hands on my stomach and smoothed them down slowly.

I remember this…my mom used to do this for Kasuka when he was a baby. Apparently, Kasuka had colic, as unbelievable as it sounds, and this was one way to release the air out of his stomach instead on the burping method. Only thing is…the gas comes out the other end…

Izaya took my legs and pushed them up so my knees would touch my tummy. The pressure on my stomach made me let off a few rounds, and Izaya loosened my legs again.

"Uh-huh…" he cooed, "Just a little more, Kishou…"

He did the same thing again, only this time moving my feet and legs in a bicycle-like motion, giving off some more gas. It was…a bit embarrassing, I'll admit, but it worked wonders for my stomach.

"That's a good boy…" he said rubbing my tummy down again, then lifting my legs up to my chest, "Almost there…"

All of a sudden, there was a loud squelching sound that came from my diaper. Maybe it worked a little _too_ well…

"Whoopsie-daisy…" Izaya giggled nervously, "Was that too much?"

I cooed loudly, already not liking the feeling of my dirty diaper.

"Ah…how's about we get you another diaper, _ne_? You're gonna need it…"

In the middle of the diaper change, however, the informant stopped after he cleaned me completely with a baby wipe.

"Hmm, Shinra did say something about me taking your temperature…"

I yawned as he grabbed the thermometer of the nightstand, opening my mouth to prepare for the stick, but when he started poking it around my entrance instead, I almost choked on the surrounding air. I widened my eyes and remembered that that was what Shinra was doing to me when I woke up from unconsciousness.

I immediately kicked my legs and flailed my arms, making a huge fuss. Izaya, shocked at the reaction, tried to hold me down with one of his hands with the thermometer in the other.

"Oh, Kishou, it's okay, baby!" he tried to compromise, "No one likes this, trust me, no one does, but we gotta take your temperature before we go to Shinra's!"

Send me to Hell for all I care – no way I was about a get a damned rectal thermometer stuck up my ass!

I fussed louder, but I got out of his hold and crawled frantically to the upper part of the bed, trying to hide my naked chubby body in the pillows. I tried to throw them, but my strength was only deteriorating from all the energy I used up in this whole situation. Izaya crawled on the bed as well and held me by the waist and tried to pull me back to him as I squirmed violently for my life.

"Shh! Shh! Kishou, calm down – Mommy's here!" Izaya called as he got on top of me, successfully holding me down. He stroked my head as I cried and kissed my bare back, "Mommy doesn't wanna do this either! Just hold still while the thermometer goes in! It's gonna feel weird, but please calm down – Mommy's gotcha!"

I watched in horror as the little white stick in Izaya's hand approached my entrance, and he finally pushed it in.

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

"Shh…it's in! It's in, sweetheart…!" Izaya said breathlessly from the huge wrestle, "It's all over now, Kishou…Mommy's right here with you…"

I didn't even respond – I couldn't respond. How am I gonna live the rest of my life if I have dreams of being raped by a freakin' thermometer? I just don't know how some babies tough up to this kind of stuff…including vaccina…

…Oh, God – please don't let me have to get vaccinations!

After almost fifteen seconds, the digital stick gave off two beeps, and the raven pulled it out of me. He looked at the screen and smiled.

"Oh…98.8°F, thank God it went down…"

* * *

Izaya towed me back downstairs and put me in the bouncy swing while he looked for my baby bag. Still a bit angry and frustrated about what happened in the bedroom, I frowned and almost started a fuss in impatience, seeing as though I basically watched the flea run back and forth searching for the items. Almost breathless, he stopped and handed me his phone after he rolled out the stroller and put the blanket on me.

"Here, Kishou-chan – play with that while Mommy finds your baby bag…and Mommy's _really_ gotta go tinkle, too…" he said before running hurriedly upstairs again, "_Ooh, where did I leave that thing…?!_"

I rolled my eyes. It's not often you hear Izaya Orihara running around saying he's gotta take a piss. But then again, I've seen more sides of him in these past three months than I probably would ever see in my whole lifetime as an adult. I twisted the little black cell phone in my hands as I bounced in the swing a bit, but then, it scared me when it started to vibrate. I looked at the screen and tried to read the caller I.D.

"You…you gotta be kidding me…" I said to myself, "I can't read anymore?!"

I can't count that well anymore, I can't read a thing anymore – can this get any more fucked up than it already is?!

Luckily, Izaya has one of those phones that shows you a picture of who's calling as well, and the minute I saw Shinra on the front wearing a goofy grin, I flipped the phone up immediately.

"Yo?"

"Izaya! Dude, I thought you'd NEVER pick up!," the doctor rambled, "Anyway, I wanted to tell you that Celty and I are having our very own Christmas dinner – tonight! I mean, I know I'll be the only one eating but-"

"Four-Eyes," I interrupted, "It's Shizuo."

There was a long pause until Shinra gave a yelp.

"Shi-Shizuo! How are you-"

"Don't worry, aside from being anally raped by an electronic heat stick, I feel…okay, I guess. Izaya's in the bathroom peeing and he gave me his phone to play with."

Another pause.

"So…what's been going on?"

"Don't start that – tell me how that cure's been coming along, because this shit has gotten to the point where I can't even read or count! What do you have so far?"

Shinra gasped, "Has it really gotten that bad?!"

"YES, so I need to know your progress! This has gone far enough – I cannot be in this form for much longer! It's getting permanent, Goddammit!"

After taking all of that in, a soft sigh was heard through the receiver.

"Well, I'm about halfway through all the cartons of milk that Celty bought, and so far, it's…"

"What? Tell me!"

"It's…regular 2% milk." Shinra sighed again, "I haven't found one thing peculiar with it. No weird formula, no strange compounds – not a thing."

I growled, "Shit! How long is this gonna take?!"

"Now, Shizuo, I've been cooped up in my study ever since I took on this task, and I stayed in there longer ever since you became ill, but you have to remember – we don't even know if all the cartons she bought even contain the experiment. Even so, I won't stop until I find it."

"…Yeah, I know…"

I suddenly heard the toilet flush upstairs followed by the sink running.

"Hey, listen, Izaya's coming back, so I'll see you in a bit, alright?"

"O-okay, bye."

I sunk down in my little swing after hanging up. Things aren't looking so hot. I can't stay like this for good, and despite the fact that it would probably make Izaya happy, Kasuka, Tom, and others would probably spend the rest of their lives looking for me. I can't stand by and watch that.

"Phew…wouldn't you know it?" Izaya bounced happily back down the stairs with the baby bag strapped over his shoulder, "Your baby bag was in the bathroom closet, Kishou-chan!"

His bubbly demeanor vanished when he saw the sullen look on my face, barely clutching his cell phone in my hand and it pathetically fell to the floor. Izaya crouched in front of me and rubbed my face.

"What's that look for?" he asked in concern, "Are you still feeling sick? Or is it that you missed Mommy?"

I didn't even realize that my eyes started tearing up. I don't know if it was from the phone call on the cure's progress or what, but I suddenly felt…sad. Depressed, almost. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I tried to wipe them away.

"Kishou…oh, no, no, no, baby, no…" Izaya cooed, hoisting me up and patting my back, "What's wrong? It's okay, Mommy's not gonna leave you…"

I dug my hands in his back and clenched up as I sniffled and cried silently.

"Kishou-chan, please don't cry…you'll make Mommy cry, too…"

Izaya probably knew that this was different from my regular wails, like if I was hungry, tired, or just needed to be held, but this time, it was like a high school student sobbing in the bathroom. It was quiet, too, and my shoulders shook each time I hiccupped. It made my headache even worse since I wasn't releasing the pressure in a full blown bawl, but I tried to brush it off as well as the lump burning in my throat.

Izaya sighed, then walked to the couch and sat down with me in his arms. He wiped away some of the tears staining my cheeks and kissed my forehead. He rocked me so gingerly and hummed softly.

"Shh…shh…it's okay…we don't have to go to Shinra's right away, Kishou. Mommy wants to make sure you're happy first. Mommy loves you, baby, and Mommy would never leave you or even try to leave you ever again, so please…don't cry…"

* * *

**Shinra POV**

"Nothing…nope…nothing still…argh, damn it to Hell!"

I can't let my friend stay like this, oh, but it's so frustrating! Celty brought back at least 30-50 cartons of this stuff in the past two months, and even going through half of them, I can't find a thing! I've been working on it since 5:00 this morning, and I haven't even eaten, but I just can't let up right now!

Suddenly, I heard my honey's footsteps walk into my study. Her noises always seem to put me at ease~!

[Shinra, it's almost noon.] She typed out, [Aren't you hungry?]

I sighed dreamily. She's so cute when she's worried about me~

"Yes, my lovey-dove, I am, but I can't stop working…" I wiped my baggy tired eyes up under my glasses and turned back to my desk, looking at the various test tubes, bottles, and beakers filled with milk.

[Shinra, please. Izaya and Shizuo will be here any minute, and more importantly, you need something on your stomach!]

I yawned, wiping my eyes again, "Ah…yeah…I probably should take a short break…"

[Thank you. :)]

"…after I finish looking at one more…"

My beauty of a wife sighed and walked out, typing something about getting some breakfast for me as well as a damp washcloth for my face. I stretched my back and continued running tests on the final experiment for right now. I put it in the tube and heated it a little. I came to the conclusion that if a milk carton did indeed have the leaked experiment, it would give off a strong and strange scent when heated.

I lit the fire and sleepily watched the solution bubble, and I yawned again.

Suddenly, something caught in my nose…a metallic, iron-like scent…like Shizuo…described…

"No way…no…" I said in a whisper as I picked up the half-empty carton from which the dosage came from. I sniffed it, and it had a weaker scent to it, but it was the same.

"I…I found it…I got it! Celty, I finally found it! Hang in there, Shizuo – you'll be back to normal in no time!"

* * *

**Me: There's Chapter 20~! Breakthroughs are EPIC!**

**Izaya: How is it that you were able to get this done, and you had dinner at your friend's house yesterday?**

**Me: I'm just that great~ and they had ramen noodles - that always helps me think!**

**Shizuo: And didn't you give her the Ciel cow plushie?**

**Me: Yeeeaauuuh! I got Sebby, so from now on - WE'RE COW BUDDIES!**

**Shizuo: ...Please review-**

**Izaya: Yes - PLEASE! She's having a fangasm...**


	21. Should We Really Be Spazzing Out?

**Izaya POV**

"There now…do you feel better?" I asked the infant in my arms. He was fast asleep, but it was better than him crying like that. To be honest, I've never seen Kishou silently cry to himself, and another thing, I can't figure out what was wrong with him. He's alright now, but it kills me that I could've helped him differently.

Kishou murmured a bit as he slept and sucked quietly on the pacifier. I'm so happy that he's doing so much better than yesterday. It might've killed me if he was dead now, or I would at least fall into some dark abyss. If something were to happen to my baby, I just don't know what I'd do…

I jumped when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Kishou stirred and whined, writhing and kicking his feet. Using one hand to fish the device from my pocket, I used the other to pet the baby's tummy.

"Shh…Kishou, it's okay…" I whispered to him as I flipped open my phone and held it to my ear, "Hello?"

"I-Izaya, hey! I-"

"Yes, Shinra, I'm sorry if I'm a bit late. I'll be over there soon – I had a client then Kishou started crying, so-"

"No, no!" the doctor seemed to sound out of breath from excitement, "Well…I – GAAH! I need you to hurry-hurry – it's urgent! Are you dressed?"

"Yes…look, is there something wrong over there?"

"Quite the opposite! I'm just…I just wanna check on the kid! Is he alright?!"

"Shinra, you're kinda scaring me…yes, he's fine, and again I ask you, is there a problem?"

"Nope! Not at all!"

"Yeah, sure…alright, I'll be on my way over there now. Later…"

"Yes, bye-bye!"

After hanging up, I just sat there, completely bewildered. I look down at the sleeping infant in my lap, who was just starting to wake up.

"…Now what was that all about?"

**Shinra POV**

"Omigod, omigod, omigod, omigod – HAHAHAHAHA! I got it – holy freakin' crap, I finally got it!"

[Shinra, please stop spazzing out…]

I grinned at my wife's comment, "Oh, honey, I get it best from my father, but I'm just so happy! The Fortissimo of Ikebukuro is coming back, and it's all due to you and me!"

[Well, yes, I understand that, and I'm happy, too, but I'm not the one jumping up and down on the couch with the cure in my hands…]

I laugh again and hop down, clasping the small transparent test tube tipped with a cork, holding the answer to all of Shizuo's problems. I gave it a smooch and held it up to the light – the **real** Excalibur in my eyes!

…Well, I mean…it wasn't the cool, dancing one with the cane, but what're you gonna do?

"Ah, but that's the beauty of biological scientific experimentation – pure hell to get through, but SO worth it in the end!" I chirped looking at the liquid inside the container that took me an hour to formulate, "But, Celty, my dear, this sense of completion feels better than I thought…oh…"

[What's wrong?]

I suddenly got downhearted, "Nothing…well...yes, there is something that's bothering me…"

[And that would be?]

"…I feel so sorry for Izaya…as surprising as that sounds…"

Celty sunk her shoulders and nodded, […I do, too…]

"Good, I thought I was the only one…" I responded, "Maybe Shizuo turning into a baby in the first place wasn't such a bad thing…Izaya's almost made a complete turn-around in his life, and he seems so happy and carefree – he's not going to take this well…"

[I've been having that same fear, and I know Shizuo's been thinking about that, too.]

"He has…um, Celty, I've also been thinking…that maybe…"

[Yes?]

"…Maybe Izaya doesn't _have_ to know that his baby was actually Shizuo this whole time, or that it was just a huge misunderstanding."

[What?] Celty fumbled with her PDA, [Shinra, I don't think that's fair to Izaya.]

"Well, I'm asking this because I think it'll be better for him if it seems like his child just goes missing instead of it turning out to be that his child was actually the person he hates most in this world. Either way, it's still gonna break him, but not knowing the whole story won't break him _completely _as it would if he did know."

[Still...doesn't Izaya have a right to know?]

"I'm suggesting this as his friend and Shizuo's friend. I don't want either of them to do anything stupid, especially Izaya."

My headless wife sighed, [I still don't think it's a good idea.]

My eyes softened and I turned to face her seriously.

"…Celty, keep this to yourself, 'kay?"

She seemed confused, but I took her hands in mine and spoke quietly.

"Love, listen to me when I say this: My mother was a complete slut."

She jumped at my choice of words, but I went on.

"When she was pregnant with me, she was about 7 months along when she told my dad that there was a chance that he really…_wasn't_ my dad. He told me that he cried himself to sleep almost every night, but when I was born, it turned out I was his after all. He ended up leaving my mom and taking care of me on his own ever since. One day, I asked him if I had a mom and if I did, where she was. He waited a long time until he finally told me exactly who she was and what she had done. So far, I don't know where she is now."

I let go of her hands so she could respond to all that I said.

[That's awful…but what does that have to do with Izaya and Shizuo's current situation?]

I paused, "…When somebody has a child, that's something that they can claim and love as theirs and theirs only. They have somebody that looks up to them and relies on them. Ask any good parent, and they'll tell you that their kid is an absolute dream. Now, imagine all that being suddenly stripped away from you and spat right back in your face, whether it's being told that the child isn't yours or some other reason. Remember that Izaya just had Shizuo officially adopted for him to keep, and simply put, it hurts than any type of pain a human can experience. Do you see why I'm worried?"

Celty nodded slowly and typed something.

[I hope those two can get past this somehow.]

I smiled warmly and put my arm around her.

"They will. It'll take some time and a lot of comforting, but they soon will. And when that day comes, we'll be seeing flick blades stuck in the sides of buildings and random vending machines strewn everywhere through the city!"

Her shoulders shook in a giggle. I planted a small, but reassuring kiss on her neck, and she snuggled up against me.

"Ah…these past three months have been pretty chaotic, haven't they?" I remarked, fumbling with the little glass container in my hand, "But that's Ikebukuro for ya, right?"

My honey nodded and snuggled closer. I blushed deeply. It's times like these when happiness just seems to flood me, and since we don't get to have these types of moments very often, we make it last the best we can.

However, our sweet hour was interrupted by a short knock on the door. I got spazzy all over again and skipped merrily over to the door. I shoved the little test tube in my lab coat pocket and swung the door open, grinning from ear-to-ear. Izaya stood there, looking a bit uncomfortable and confused while he pushed Baby Shizuo in the stroller. As I advised, Shizuo was bundled up tightly and had a thick panda cap on his head with the binky in his mouth. He seemed to be sleeping.

"Why, hello, my fluffy-jacket friend~!" I said swinging an arm around him and pulling them both inside, "How are you?!"

"Um…fine, thanks…" Izaya said before saying a quick hello to Celty as well, "You seem to be…really excited about something…"

"Oh, yes!" I squealed, clasping my hands together. I bent down and picked up the little infant in the stroller, who squirmed from being woken up so suddenly, "Hey, squirt, do you feel better?"

Poor Shizuo started to fuss at the sudden interruption. I held him closely and bounced him a little.

"Oh, I'm sowwy…" I cooed, "We're gonna get you _all_ better, 'kay-'kay?"

He whined, but ultimately ended up calming down. Izaya smiled as he sat down on the couch next to Celty.

"So just by looking at him, how do you think he's doing?" he asked.

"Well…" I started, "He looks way better than he did yesterday, and you said he ate something, right?"

"Yeah. It took him a while to get used to solid food like that, but he finally found one he liked."

"Good, good…" I put Shizuo over my shoulder and patted his back, "His breathing isn't as shallow as it used to be, seeing as though he hasn't been coughing, though I can tell that he's been a bit irritable."

"Yeah. We had a _huge_ wrestle when it came to taking his temperature…"

_So it __**did**__ happen…oh, poor Shizuo!_

"Uh-huh…" I pondered, "Just to be sure of everything, let me go back here and check him up. Overall, he's doing a lot better."

The raven nodded, "Okay. Thank you, Shinra…for everything."

I gave him a smile and took Shizuo to my back room. He nodded back off to sleep before I set him down on the table.

I poked his cheek and whispered, "_Pssst…Shizuo…wakey-wakey, Shinra's got a surprise for you~!_"

He writhed and whined again, "_Leave me alone…_"

"_Oh, come on!_" I said poking his stomach this time, "_You'll like this! You look cute in that fluffy hat, by the way~_"

"_Shut up…_"

"_Shizuo~_"

"What?!"

I shushed him and cupped my hand over his mouth. I removed it once he was quiet and slowly pulled out the bottled cure from my pocket. His eyes widened and his breathing almost stopped as I held it close so he could see it.

"It's all right here, Shizuo."

* * *

**Like I said, this story's not over yet - still a few more chapters left! I just want to have some time to think it through and work on my other fanfic.**

**Random Fact: I hung out with my friend (my cow buddy and the one that also has the Mini-Shizu-chan brother) and her family today and three things happened:**

**1. I went to Starbucks for the second time in my life so far.**

**2. I bought some DRRR! manga - volumes 1, 3, and 4 (don't ask me why I didn't get 2...)**

**And 3. I came up with anime character comparisons for all her brothers (Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, Mini-Shizu-chan, and Sealand!)**

**LAWLZ - but I had so much fun~! Please review - love all you guys!**


	22. The Plan

**Shizuo POV**

…That's it?

That small glass container with a cork…is my cure?

_That's_ the thing that's gonna give me my twenty-four years of life back?

"Holy shit…" I said in disbelief, "…You're…you're kidding…"

Shinra grinned and shook his head, "No, my friend – this is indeed your antidote. There's no doubt in my mind that this will change you back almost immediately when you drink it."

I released my breath and curled my lips into an open, astonished smile. I reached out to grab the test tube, but Shinra quickly retracted his hand.

"Wha…? What the hell, Shinra?!" I almost shouted in frustration, "Give it here!"

The doctor shushed me again and held the remedy up high, "Not so fast! I know you want to be an adult again, but just wait a second! There are some things we need to figure out."

I crossed my arms, "Like what?!"

"Well, first we need to check you for more serious symptoms of Pneumonia, secondly, we need to find a place to hide this, and thirdly, how are you gonna drink this?"

I raised an eyebrow at him like he suddenly went stupid, "Uh, I'm supposed to _drink_ it, right? How else?"

He rolled his eyes, "That's not what I meant. What are you going to do after you turn back into an adult? Where are you gonna get your clothes? Who're you gonna call first? How are you going to-"

"Alright, I get it…" I scowled.

_More stuff to think through…dammit…_

"I know this is exciting and frustrating at the same time, but please try to think this through."

I stayed quiet and frowned.

Shinra sighed, "Well, let me help by saying this – since this'll probably get one thing off your mind – Celty and I have talked about it, and…we think it's best if Izaya doesn't know that any of this happened."

I perked. _Izaya's...not going to know that his baby was me this whole time?_

Only a portion of me was relieved about this, the rest being anger. I don't know why I felt this way. Maybe it was hormones, or…maybe I just wanted to break it to him myself…

All this suddenly seems a bit too easy.

"What do you mean he's not going to know about any of this?"

The brunette looked surprised at my reaction.

"…Isn't that a good thing?" he asked, "When you turn back to your old self, you won't have to say anything to him. It'll just look like 'Kishou' went missing."

"…And you really think that's the best way to go? And even if it does work like that, when I suddenly show up in Ikebukuro the second the baby goes missing, the flea's gonna know something's going on!"

"Not necessarily."

"And why is that?"

"He'll probably be too busy looking for his child to even notice you're back unless you do something direct and in his path. Don't misunderstand me – I'm just as conflicted on what to do about that part as you are, but for right now…we have no other choice. Besides, there's no telling what he might do if he finds out the real story, and I'm not talking about what he'll do to _you_."

I shuddered.

"I don't want my friend hurt," Shinra said, putting the test tube he'd been toying with back securely in his pocket, "Though it's true that Izaya will never forget the three months he spent with you, I really don't want him emotionally shattered for the rest of his life."

I took all of that in. What Shinra said made complete sense, but why did it feel like there was still something left to be decided?

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Shizuo? Will this work for you?"

Slowly, I nodded.

"That's good," the doctor said while getting his gloves and stethoscope, "Now, lay on your back for me."

As Shinra gave me every possible test imaginable, I couldn't understand what I was feeling, or how I should be feeling. I'm going over everything that's been happening or what has already happened.

I won't lie – my time with Izaya has been pretty damn great.

Overlooking the whole adoption thing, the kidnapping scare, and some other stuff, I was…kinda fun.

_Very_ fun.

Probably the best three months of my life.

I still chuckle at the time when Izaya asked Namie to breastfeed me when he first brought me to his home and the time when I busted the crap out of that rubber ducky (even though it wasn't funny back then.) Another would be when Shinra and I got drunk off our asses that night after Celty agreed to marry him.

And then there's that bouncy-swingy thingy…gonna miss that thing…

But what I can't get over is that I'm thinking about all that good time and I spent it with the flea.

Izaya Orihara.

The man I can't stand in this world.

Well, maybe not **as much **anymore…

At this point, Shinra puts my clothes back on.

"Alright, for the most part, you're in pretty good shape," he says, "But still, take it easy, even when you turn back."

"Got it…anyway, have you thought of something?"

"Ah, well, I think you left a white T-shirt and some blue sweatpants here. I can sneak them beneath all the other stuff in your baby bag. That way, after you drink the antidote and put on your clothes, use the phone on Izaya's desk to call Celty and wait outside his apartment building for her to come pick you up and take you back to your own house. If she takes you here, there's a good chance Izaya will find you since this is the first place he'd come if something happened to 'Kishou.' Sound good?"

"Yeah…"

"Hmm…maybe I could get her to swing by your place so we can get you a jacket, too."

"The thought hadn't even crossed my mind…"

"…It's winter."

"I'll manage."

The doctor playfully rolled his eyes when he pulled the panda cap back on my head, "Ugh…didn't I just say take it easy?!"

"Ah, fine, fine. And a jacket." I gave a slight laugh, "Anyway, where are we gonna hide that thing?"

Shinra pulled the tube out and scanned my body for a place to put it, then his eyes settled on the fluffy hat covering my blonde hair.

"Ah-HAH!" he squealed, lifting the cap up and shoving the tube inside. He pulled it down as far as it would go, almost covering my eyes.

"Sorry, gotta make sure it's really gonna stay." he said straightening it out one last time, "Okay, so you got the plan?"

"Yes," I answered, "Now just have to get those clothes into the baby bag…"

"Oh, I got an idea!" Shinra picked me up and put me on his hip, walking out the little room, "Hey, Izaya!"

The addressed and the dullahan turned around from the TV screen.

"Yes, Shinra? Is everything okay?"

Shinra waved his free hand, "Oh, he's fine, he's fine, but…I think he peed a little bit…"

Izaya got up laughing with the baby bag in his hand and walked over to take me for a changing, but Shinra refused.

"No, no, it's okay!" he said, gradually getting the kiddie bag in his hold, "It's been a rough day - I can do it!"

"…You sure?"

"Yeah, really! It's no trouble!"

Izaya finally smiled and thanked the doctor for the favor. Shinra brought me into the guest room and set me down on the bed. Then, he looked through the wardrobe drawers and finally found my clothes in the last one, neatly folded.

"We've been hounding you to come get your clothes, but now, I'm thankful that you didn't!" he said with a grin. I rolled my eyes, but we both froze when we heard a slight tinkling sound coming from me.

Shinra grimaced, "Oh, tell me you _really_ didn't-"

I sniffed myself, "Looks like…"

I glared when I saw the grossed-out expression on the brunette's face.

"Oh, come on! In this state, I can't control when I have to pee or not!"

The doctor sighed, "F-fine. So…what do I do first?"

I groaned, "Get a wipe, rub me down **gently**, and put a new diaper on – simple enough?"

"Eh…sure…" he said hesitantly pulling my pants off and slowly undoing the tabs on the dirty diaper. He opened it and looked up towards the ceiling, "Uh, Shizuo…I don't know if I can do this…"

"Just get the thing off me and grab a wipe."

He did so, disposing of it and gingerly wiping my wet area, and after that was done, he got another clean diaper out of the bag.

"Good…" I nodded, "Put it on me."

He gently held my ankles and lifted my bottom off the bed so he could slip the new diaper up under me. He set my lower half back down and pulled the front of the diaper up. Making sure it was fit, he secured the sticky tabs and patted my stomach.

"O-kay…" he said nervously, wiping some sweat off his forehead, "How's that feel?"

"Nice…don't relate this to anybody."

"Trust me – I won't…"

We cleared the awkward air the best we could as I watched Shinra stuff my clothes deep in the baby bag, covering them deeply.

"Hey, Shinra," I called, "Wouldn't it be less risky to put the antidote in the baby bag under my clothes? Izaya's bound to have my cap off by tonight."

He pondered around this, "It would, I suppose…as long as you could handle something like that."

I nodded, so he proceeded to take the tube out of my hat and buried it in the bag of baby supplies. Shinra finished me up and took me back outside to Izaya, waiting for his word.

"Hi, Kishou-chan~!" he kissed my cheek, then talked to the underground doctor, "How is he, Shinra?"

Shinra smiled warmly, "He's just fine. Needs a little rest, but other than that, he's doing just fine. Test it out tonight by feeding him on the bottle once, and if he's fine, then you can go back to it."

The informant let out a breath, "Oh, that is so good to hear! Thank you so much, Shinra!"

"Oh, no problem~!" Shinra replied, "But if anything happens, just let me know, 'kay?"

"Got it~" Izaya called while he put me in the stroller, "Hey, baby – let's get you home so you can get something to eat, _ne_? You must be hungry!"

I only cooed, shooting Shinra a knowing glance before Izaya said goodbye and left.

* * *

Luckily, the rest of the day was very peaceful. The raven barely had any clients the whole afternoon, and he spent most of the time doing his work after putting in front of the TV again. I only watched the kids' programs blankly, repeating tonight's strategy over and over in my head. I just couldn't believe it.

I was going to be a man again.

I eyed the baby bag on the couch with a slight smile. I couldn't help but be a little excited, but then, I looked at Izaya. He was oblivious to everything – the tainted milk, the identity of his child, what his "child" was thinking about now. Maybe that's what Shinra was talking about. Izaya's ignorance to all this is probably the thing that will protect him from his own emotions.

…I'm getting too deep, aren't I? At least I'm _thinking_ like an adult again…

I heard Izaya let out a loud yawn from behind his desk. He stretched and moaned at the feeling of his muscles relaxing tremendously.

"Ah, Kishou~" he cooed skipping over to my spot and lifting me up, giving me a wet kiss on my nose, "Ready to go night-night? Shinra said you need some rest."

He cradled me into his arms and started to rock me. It was going on nine o'clock already, and I guess the time slipped out from under our feet. I smiled sleepily and yawned, stretching out my fingers and toes.

"Yes, Kishou, let's get you in bed. Mommy's tired, too."

Izaya held me closer, humming that same, sweet song, and carried me up the stairs. He lay me down on his bed and put me into that little cows-stars-and-moons onesie that he made me wear the first day I slept here. Then, he crossed his eyes and started singing a silly song as he brushed my hair, swishing his head back and forth in tune.

"_Panda sits up,_

_But he falls down,_

_Right down the hill, _

_Towards the hard ground,_

_And Panda rolls and rolls,_

_With trips and tolls,_

_'Till he climbs up, again…_"

I giggled softly as he made funny faces and sang the song a few times. It wasn't better than the other one, but I still liked it.

"Is Mommy being silly, Kishou-chan?" he laughed before kissing my nose again, "You make Mommy silly, yes, you do~!"

He tickled me and gave small kisses on my tummy, to which I started to kick my legs in laughter. Izaya finally sighed and changed into his own pajamas, and after climbing into bed himself, he tucked me in and pulled me closer to him.

"Night-Night, Kishou," he whispered, giving me one last kiss to my cheek, "Love you…"

_2:41 AM_

I haven't slept for the past two hours now, from fear of two things.

1. Izaya's a light sleeper.

And 2. Izaya's an early riser.

That night when Shinra and Celty were…doing their thing, he heard the small thumps against the wall. Luckily, he turns in his sleep as well, and he ended up letting go of me four hours ago. It might be safe to move one step at a time.

And what better time than now?

Slowly – ever so slowly- I roll over to the edge of the bed and clutch the mattress. I slide a foot down to the carpet, pulling the rest of my body down with it. Soon, I get my other foot down, and baring my teeth in anxiety, I let go to fall on my butt.

My breathing stops when I hear a groan come from the sleeping raven, but he continues to snore softly. I bite my hand for a few seconds, and after releasing it, I get on all fours and crawl towards the bedroom door, looking behind me every now and then. I make it out into the hallway and to the edge of the staircase.

Just like three months ago, I stood up, taking a wobbly stance, and gradually made my way down the stairs. I went down as carefully as possible to ensure that the bootees on my feet didn't slip out from under me, seeing as though I didn't want to be caught _and_ have a broken neck…

After about four or five minutes, I was finally downstairs, surrounded by Izaya's workspace. I glanced out of the giant windows behind his desk, looking at how the sky was decorated with its stars. I could only stare at it for a minute or two, reminding myself that I didn't have time to waste.

I tried to navigate myself through the dark room to get to the couch, and after a few trials of guess-and-check, I felt my chubby fingers rub against the texture of the baby bag.

"_Alright!_" I exclaimed in a whisper while climbing on the couch, "_Just gotta find that bottle!_"

I sat on my thighs and dug through the bag after unzipping it.

"_Baby bottle…baby bottle…formula…pacifier…_" I listed, sticking the last thing on the list in my mouth and sucking on it for the final time, "_…diapers…wipes…my clothes – got it!_"

I pulled the small test tube out and was relieved to find it still intact and untouched. I zipped the bag back up and twisted the cure in my hands, staring at it as if it were a god itself. I gently pulled the cork off, smelling the weird odor as it wafted to through my nose, and I suddenly smiled.

"_Well…this is it for Kishou Orihara, huh?_"

Then I realized that I was smiling sadly.

I held on tightly to the test tube, holding it to my lips, but just as I was about to tilt it back, I eyed something on Izaya's desk.

It was a picture encased in a baby-themed frame. I looked closer, but I clearly saw the photo that Izaya and I took the day I saw Kasuka for the first time since I turned into an infant. There I was, smiling and giggling for the umpteenth time that day, and Izaya was cuddled close to my face, smiling like he was truly happy.

It all came to me too quickly. Izaya been feeding me, bathing me, clothing me, holding me, loving me – I'm never gonna forget any of it, as I'm sure he won't either.

I'm actually…grateful to him…for everything.

I gulped, spitting the binky out of my mouth and clutching the clear container even tighter as I felt my eyes burn with tears. As I let one roll down my cheek, I looked at the bedroom upstairs that belonged the poor raven, having no clue what was about to happen to his child and sleeping ever so peacefully as long as he thinks I'm by his side at this very moment.

"_Oh, Izaya-kun …thank you, and I am so sorry…_"

I put the tube to my lips again and utter five last words to him before I squeeze my eyes tightly and down the antidote.

"_…Please don't hate me…Mommy..._"

* * *

**Three things to apologize for:**

**1. Sorry for another cliffhanger - I hate them but they're exciting at the same time. Don't be afraid to be angry and want to whack me upside the head with something hard (i.e. rock, champagne bottle -empty or full-, chair, preferably a large sign, etc.)**

**2. Sorry if this chapter reads like it's rushed in any way. If there's typos or grammar mistakes (there probably is...), that's the reason why. After reading chapter 21 a few times, I just had to jump right into this one - I couldn't wait.**

**3. Sorry for the OOCness...that's a given...**

**Anyway, some good news: My friend with the anime character siblings wants me, Mini-Shizu-chan, and herself to go to Anime Weekend Atlanta this year! We've talked about it and she wants to go as Tsubaki and her brother be Black Star (he's got a great impression!)**

**And as for me, well...probably a female Izaya (Kanra). I found the jacket, a black, slim, Japanese-imported Hello Kitty shirt, now just gotta find fitting shoes and a cute skirt...My cow buddie also thought it'd be cool to get a long black wig and put it in pigtails with the type of red hair balls/pigtail holders you'd find in Lucky Star.**

**BTW: the "panda song" goes with the tune to the first part of a track on the DRRR! OST (#11 - Their Aspirations) - please review and thank you all for the support!**


	23. Like or Love?

**Ah, it's the day of love once more! (even though I have no Pocky...) Otaku need love too, right? On days when I feel this lovey-dovey, I hug and kiss my Psyche plushie (since he's pink and awesomely yaoi-like and all...) However, there is one boy in my class who's already caught my eye, and what's even better is that he has such beautiful eyes that are the same color as Ciel's, except they're a bit more...icy-looking - but he's actually a total sweetheart and very nice towards my, um...randomness or whatever other mental problems I have...**

**Anyways, let's get on with this!**

* * *

It felt weird…but it was a good weird. I glanced at my fingers and toes that grew out on my hands and feet. I smiled once I felt the man-like feature come back on my face again when I put my palm to my cheek, and I realized that they were no longer fat and chubby. My hair didn't feel as soft as before as the locks grew longer, and my whole body got large, busting out of the small diaper. Quickly, I looked down and glowed.

_Well, thank God I got my manhood back…_

The now-empty tube fell to the floor as I probed myself to make sure everything was in check.

"_Nothing new, nothing missing…_" I said to myself, and after going over my parts one more time, I moved on to the next phase of the plan. I grab the bag and dig through it to find the white shirt and the blue sweatpants. Luckily, Shinra was smart and remembered to put boxers in there for me as well. Slipping those on first, I finished it up by putting the rest of the clothes on – a perfect fit.

I was about to reach for the phone on Izaya's desk, but I remembered that this had to look like nothing ever occurred, so I carefully placed everything neatly back in the bag and stuffed the tube in my pocket. I tip-toed over to the work phone and dialed Shinra's number as quietly as I could. I impatiently held the phone to my ear, listening to it ring and also making sure Izaya was still asleep.

"_Mm….h-hello?_" Thankfully, as sleepy as he was, the underground doctor answered.

"_Shinra…it's me._" I answered, with my voice back to the way it was.

"_Hnn…aa…ah! Shi-Shizuo! Good to have you back, budd-OW!_"

I figured that Celty must've jabbed him in the ribs again for interrupting her sleep.

"_Aa…s-sorry, my honey. Shizuo's on the phone – it was a complete success!_"

"_Shh…!_" I hushed him, "_To answer anything else, I've looked all over myself thoroughly – everything's back to normal._"

"_Oh, that's great!_" he said ecstatically, "_I'll have Celty over there in no time! Take care of everything you need to do first, then hurry on outside on the corner of the building. Should only be about ten or fifteen minutes you have to wait. Be as quiet as possible! Okay?! See ya!_"

Shinra was probably so excited that he couldn't stay on the phone for much longer. I sighed, "_And he tells **me** to be as quiet as possible…_"

But nonetheless, I owe Shinra in just about every way thinkable.

Checking the area around the couch again, making sure there was no evidence of what just happened, I ruffle my hair and headed towards the flea's door. Taking one final look at the room upstairs, I silently slipped out of the apartment.

Going down through the elevator was problem, seeing as though it wouldn't make sense of someone going out around two in the morning. I walked past the lobby and made my way outside. It was dark out and cold as ever, but I ignored it and stood near the lamppost at the end of the building's street corner.

I waited as patiently as I could, looking up at the cloudy sky every now and then, and sometimes I would stare at my feet. My pricked my ears a bit if I thought I heard Celty's motorcycle, and eventually, I really did hear it, the whinny of her horse, as she rode straight up to me. Her bike came to a screeching halt as I held my hand up in a greeting.

"Yo," I said with a smile, "Been a while since you've seen the real me, huh?"

She nodded as she typed something out on her PDA.

[I'm very happy, Shizuo! I'm so glad everything turned out as it did!]

I happily punched her side.

[I see your strength has returned, too…] she typed out slowly from rubbing her arm.

"Oh, sorry about that…" I apologized, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck, "Uh…shall we?"

The dullahan nodded again and motioned for me to get on the back of her motorcycle. I gladly accepted and leaned back a little after sitting, my palms of my hands pressing down on either side of the bike, barely gripping it.

"This may seem dangerous," I said in response to Celty's questioning glance, "but this is one ride I want to take in. It might clear my mind some."

Celty just shrugged and revved up the bike, popping a wheelie before speeding off to my place. As my hair flowed with the wind as she drove, I couldn't help but think about the past three months. They haven't been a day at an amusement park, but they weren't necessarily like hell either. As I said, it was actually kinda fun, being waited on hand and foot if I start to whine, cry, or fuss. As for Izaya…the flea's actually got some good in him. I doubt that I'll be fighting him in Ikebukuro's streets as much as I use to, most likely out of gratitude.

Just something that my actual mom taught me – don't bite the hand that feeds you.

_In this case, it was literal…_I thought to myself as we passed by the familiar streets, which I should say looked a lot less…destroyed. I don't really remember the spots that are the victims of my temper, but I can usually tell which ones they were since they either have cracks filled with fresh concrete or newly planted shrubs with some type of police tape around the area. Thankfully, I don't see much that now.

It's a bit strange, really. Ikebukuro itself has been better off without me, yet the people inside the city have only been worried and frightened. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but this city pretty much needs me here. It's not worth bragging about, but I'm the Strongest Man in Ikebukuro, the one that low-lives and other rejects fear. I hate violence, but when I get angry, I rip up the nearest object and use it to my advantage. Even so, I still have friends like Shinra, Celty, Tom, and Kadota, and I'm the big brother of famous actor Yuuhei Hanejima.

Basically, I'm a part of this place.

_I've got so much explaining to do, I bet…Hardest part is hoping anyone will believe me…_

I'm sure Kasuka might accept it the first time I tell him, although it _is_ a stretch, and as for Tom, well, that might take more explaining. I really shouldn't be concerned of anyone believing me since I won't be broadcasting the real story behind my absence to the whole district. Maybe I should make it look like I was vacation or something…There'll be skeptics and a bit of hounding for more details, but for the most part, things will go back to normal as I have.

I sighed. Despite how cold it was, the wind felt good hitting against my face. It's something I missed a lot…or maybe it was the good feeling of growing up all over again. I'd forgotten what it felt like when I turned 18, left the house, and never looked back. A sense of maturity, of course, but this time, the feeling had a lot more meaning to it than that.

But then again…wasn't it a _lapse_ in my maturity the reason why Izaya and I began hating each other the day we met?

Sure, I know I'm rambling and I know he was being a huge douchebag when we met, but he was only taunting me, yet I reacted as if he threatened to kill me. The more I think about it, the more I think that my actions in response to his own were a bit childish, disregarding my temper, and it's also ironic how it took me three months as a baby to realize that. I guess you could say that the relationship between he and I won't be as hostile as it was before because of this whole incident, seeing as though I've begun to understand a bit more things about his emotions and my own. That better bond we have is still going to be there even if he doesn't know who it's really between.

Maybe that whole affection thing will still be there, too…Who knows?

I felt the motorcycle come to gradual stop and I looked down at the pavement, immediately recognizing where I was. Celty and I hopped off the bike, and then we gazed into the sky.

"Well, I owe you and Shinra more than you guy can imagine. I'm very thankful for all that you did."

[It was hardly any trouble, and I'm sure Shinra will be very happy to hear that.]

"Like hell it was!" I snorted, "Three months, twelve weeks, 84 days – all dedicated to working on a cure for me and all that mess? I doubt I could've gone through it all."

Her shoulders shook in a laugh, and she typed again.

[Shinra and I are your friends, Shizuo. We weren't going to let you stay in a situation like that one, and even if we didn't turn you back by now, we wouldn't have stopped trying until we were successful.]

My eyes widened at the message, but they softened as a warm smile crept to my lips.

"Thank you, Celty." was all I said before joggling her helmet good-naturedly. She laughed again and said goodbye before taking off back to Shinra's apartment.

…For a second, I didn't know what my next step should be. I know I probably have a big mess to clean up once I get back there, but…it feels weird to me. Izaya's Shinjuku apartment has been my home since three months' time, so it feels like I'm stepping into an almost nonexistent area. Nonetheless, I took a deep breath and walked slowly to the automatic doors of the apartment building

The lobby was empty and very quiet at the moment, until I heard a soft mewl in the corner of the room. It was dim, but I made out the figure of a small cat near the plastic tree at the doors. Its eyes shined a bright greenish-yellow color, and its black, silk-like fur shined in the early morning moonlight. I crawled over to it and carefully approached my hand to its head. It purred happily, and I felt confident enough to bring it to my hold.

"Hey…" I spoke to it, "What're you doing in here? Pets like you aren't allowed in this building."

No one really knows this, but I got a soft spot for animals, just like Izaya has a soft spot for babies.

I figured that the cat bustled in the second the automatic doors opened sometime earlier today, then it just waited out in the corner until everybody left. Stroking it gently, I held on to the cat and walked to the staircase. It didn't even take me half as long to reach the floor my apartment was on as it did before, and going a bit further down the hallway, I finally reached my door.

Wasn't that hard finding it considering that it had a huge wad of paste and tape where the hole I punched in it used to be.

I grasped the door's knob and twisted it, luckily unlocked, and the second I stepped in, I knew everything was certainly back to the norm. The lingering smell of cigarettes was very faint, but it was still there. I saw the roll of paper towels on the floor and my bartender clothes bundled up on the couch with the hole in the cushion right next to it. Even the milk carton and the empty glass that I drank out of that day were still set on the table. The carton of three-month old milk made the kitchen smell absolutely horrible, even the cat pawed at its own nose.

I disposed of it quickly and tied the trash bag up, throwing it out immediately. I put the cat down, letting it roam around wherever it wanted, and sat on the couch tiredly.

"Haah…" I sighed, "I could use a cigarette right about now…"

I looked to my right to see the bundled clothes and curiously checked the pockets. Sure enough, I found my lighter and a half a pack of cigarettes as well as my phone, reminding me greatly of what I'm supposed to do next. The black cat hopped up on my lap as I cautiously flipped open my phone, revealing hundreds of texts, missed calls, and voice messages, mainly from Tom, Celty, and Kasuka.

"Damn…" I said out of disbelief. I didn't even know how Kasuka found the time to call me so numerously while dealing with his acting career, and I wonder how mad Tom must've been, thinking that I blew him off. The people who owe their debts must really be counting their blessings right now, and they probably been getting a bit cocky lately when it comes to coughing up the dough.

After contemplating what I should say, I built up the courage to call my boss, no clue what his reaction might be. I stroked the black cat's smooth head for his comfort as well as my own as I heard the rings. After about three or four tones, I heard his voice.

"_H-hello?_"

"Hey, um, Tom?" I stammered, forgetting everything I rehearsed, "Shizuo here…"

"…"

"T-Tom…are you there…?"

"_…Shizuo…?_"

"Yeah. Not to worry, I'm still alive and breathing."

I could hear his gasps in the receiver, and I smiled knowing that I probably wouldn't get yelled at for being on "leave" without his permission.

"_Oh…oh my God…_" he replied, "_I…Just where have you been all this time?! We were all worried sick, especially me since you never showed up to the office!_"

I chuckled, "Yeah, sorry about that, but it's all good now."

"_But that doesn't answer my question of where you were._"

I pondered how I should say it, but sometimes it's best if you start from the beginning.

"Tom, I swear, do not think I'm insane, but three months ago – the day I was supposed to meet you, in fact – I drank some of that Oīshi Dairy milk."

"_…Okay, and why is that important?_"

As quickly as I could in ten minutes or less, I spilled everything. The transformation, Izaya being my parent, the company's milk testing, the Pneumonia, the cure – EVERYTHING. I didn't even stop for Tom to ask any questions since I know he had plenty of them, and after I was done, I sighed tiredly.

"So…do you believe me?"

I heard Tom's strangled breath through the phone.

"_Shizuo, at this point, I have no choice. Even though you've been an…infant for three months, no one could've come up with a fake story like that. There's too much detail, but…it's just…a lot to swallow…You understand me, right?_"

"Yes, I know, and it was so unexpected!" I exclaimed, "But again, I am so sorry for all of this, however, I'll be at work bright and early tomorrow morning – I promise."

"_…It's already almost three._"

"…O-oh…"

"_Yes, it is you._" Tom sounded so relieved and happy, "_Ikebukuro just hasn't been the same without you here. Good to have you back._"

I chuckled again.

"Good to be back. So later on around nine?"

"_Well, you told me that you have to explain your disappearance to Kasuka as well, so I think it's best if you come around noon instead. That should be enough time to readjust and all, right?_"

"Yes, that perfect. I'll be there on the dot."

"_Great – take care._"

"Thanks, I will."

I hung up the phone, so thankful to have such an understanding employer, and searched for Kasuka's number on the contacts list.

"Now, one down, one to go…" I mumbled. Tom was a lot easier than I thought, but now I have to focus on not letting Kasuka burst into tears on the phone. I saw it only once, but I'd rather not hear him upset again.

I selected his number and waited anxiously for him to pick up. There's no question in my mind that he'll have doubts when he sees my name on the caller ID. After a few rings, I finally hear his voice. It's much more…fragile since the last time I saw him.

"_…B-brother? Is this really you?_"

I hesitate for a moment before answering.

"Yes, Kasuka. You don't have to worry anymore – I'm alright, but before you say anything else, I don't want you to be alarmed once I tell you where I've been and what I've been doing. I also don't want you to disbelieve any of it. Do you understand?"

He gave a meek affirmation to what I said. I had no choice but to be stern with him because whenever something bad happened when we were kids, I'd always put some bravado in my voice to have him keep confidence in me and that everything was going to be fine. Fortunately, that trick of mine still worked as I went through everything. He gasped at the idea of holding me in his arms and not even knowing it while he was desperately looking for me, but otherwise, he calmed down tremendously, absolutely relieved that he can still hear my voice again.

"_Oh, Brother…_" he sighed out, possibly even shedding a tear, "_I'm so happy you're safe and sound. It's so ironic that Orihara-san was the one who made sure of that._"

I grumbled, "Doesn't really count. He didn't suspect a thing."

"_Wait…so you…didn't tell him about any of this?_"

I nodded, "Nor Shinra, nor Celty. We're just letting it seem like Kishou Orihara went missing."

"_…_"

"…Hello?"

"_Well…Brother, how do you feel about that?_"

"Huh?"

"_I'm sure you've given that a lot of thought, right?_"

"Y-yeah. I admit that I didn't like that idea at first, but we figured that the chances of him having some type of mental breakdown would be…what's the word for it…? Ah, **increased** if he were to find out that **I** was his child all along. It would seem like the whole thing was a huge, sick practical joke. I wasn't looking forward to seeing his reaction to all that…or rather…it's just really hard to explain…Put it like this, I wouldn't want him to look at me with any more malice than he already has for me, one reason being because my feelings towards him have…changed a bit…"

"_Hmm…_"

"What? Did that sound too weird?"

"_So you guys are just going to keep it from him?_"

"…Yes."

"_…I wonder…_"

"Wonder what?"

"_I may have only seen you twice as an infant, but I could tell that he loved you with all his heart. It looked to me like it filled __**some**__ type of gap in his life. He was much happier, and despite how hard he tried to hide his soft side, it always showed up._"

"…But what're you saying, though?"

"_If you put together the time you "left" and the time Orihara-san found you as a baby, wouldn't you find that convenient if you were in Orihara-san's shoes? He found something – a more productive something – that he could focus on, and not just you two's daily city brawls. I guess my point is that…"Kishou Orihara" was the "filler-in" part for the missing "Shizuo Heiwajima" in Orihara-san's life._"

I paused. I had a bad feeling about the underlying meaning behind my little brother's words.

"So…what you're trying to tell me is…Izaya had some type of…_like_ for me?"

"_Think about it: a miniature Shizuo Heiwajima to care for and raise. It wouldn't yell or scream 'I hate you' if he tried to touch it, nor lift up a heavy object and try to throw it at him. It would only respond to love and tenderness __**with **__love and tenderness. What if that was what Orihara-san secretly wanted? A type of 'you' that he would finally be able to love and receive the same type of love back._"

I swallowed deeply. I had a weird aching feeling in the pit of my stomach that this might occur. Multiple times I put the idea out of my mind, but now that Kasuka laid the cards out on the table…his theory seems anything but wrong.

"Kasuka…" I said after a lot of needed thought, "Are you sure that…you're just not overthinking this? Just a hint?"

"_Well, when you portray just about every type of character imaginable on the big screen, it gets easier to relate them to real life._"

He had a point. Kasuka's brought out the best in any character he was asked to act out. Whether it was an outgoing drunk, a shy high school freshman, or a hopeless romantic, he could shape into the form perfectly.

I sighed, "You have me there…so what should I do? I mean, I know the relationship between us is going to be a little different from now on, but now that you've told me this…"

He hummed, "_Right, right. I surely wouldn't advise going up and asking him directly. For the next few months, or maybe even years, I feel that he won't want to go out anywhere, but when the time comes for comforting, you can gradually come in to help the healing process._"

"Me? But…right now in his eyes, we're still enemies. It may be just a front like you were basically saying earlier, but still…"

"_I'm hoping that since you look a lot like his child, he'll be a bit more open to you, however long that will take. And note this: I'm not saying to spill the whole secret behind this incident, seeing as though that would go against everything you, Shinra, and Celty agreed on. _"

"I get it, but just when the time comes…how will I know?"

"_…You will. I'm thinking that when he finally comes in Ikebukuro again and notices he's not being hit by something even if you two cross each other's paths, both you and he will be ready for it. We just don't know exactly when or more importantly **how** that will turn out. Orihara-san rants about how unpredictable you are, but he can be, too._"

"I see…" I said as my eyes softened. I really didn't know what my reaction to this should be, but my body must've known as I slowly felt my cheeks heating up, "Well, it looks like I owe you one. First Shinra and Celty, then Izaya, then Tom, now you. It won't be long before I have to give you guys the apartment!"

Kasuka gave a warm chuckle as the cat mewled softly. It startled me since I forgot it was even there.

"_Oh?_" Kasuka inquired, "_Was that a cat I heard just now?_"

"Yeah," I groaned, leaning back and stretching out on the couch with the black feline hopping on my stomach, lying down peacefully, "I found it in the building when I first walked in. Something told me to bring it with me, so I did."

"_How sweet._" My brother teased, "_I bet it's about as pure as my little snowflake, Dokusonmaru. Probably has the most beautiful and innocent-looking green eyes._"

I rolled my eyes. One of them twitched at remembering when I had to babysit that demon cat once. "A living nightmare" can't even describe what that white cat was…

"Yeah, okay…" I mumbled, "Anyway, to sum things up, you can take it easy now. I'm just fine. I'm at my place, and I'm gonna get some rest. You should be, too."

Kasuka laughed again, "_You're right – business habit and all. I'll leave you to it then. __**Oyasumi, Aniki.**__ I love you._"

I smiled, "Goodnight. Love you, too."

I hung up, tilting my head a little to meet the cat's gaze. Its eyes were starting to close, and so were mine. Its purring as I stroked it began to lull me to sleep. As I dozed, what Kasuka brought up to me wouldn't go away. Just how _did_ I feel about Izaya?

Was it really love, or was it just a like?

All that was sure was that it wasn't hate. Not anymore at least.

_Goodnight, Izaya-kun…'cause it looks like that bond we had isn't going anywhere, so we might as well start over and get acquainted…_

* * *

***huge breath* Finally it's done! Now it may seem a little draggy and such because when you finally turn into an adult, I hear nothing's fun anymore...well, at least until you pass your 21st birthday, THEN it's no fun...**

**Anyway, some other news: Remember when I mentioned Anime Weekend Atlanta? Well, my friend, her brother, and I changed our minds and we're dressing him up as a mini Death the Kid with me as Patty and my friend as Liz. She says I'd be a better Patty 'cause of my booby size (I prefer to say "Lady Pillow" size, but whatevs...). So hopefully, we can go to that in September, and if I meet Vic Mignogna, I'd ask him to do the little "Baby Bwoomerz~~~!" scene from Soul Eater.**

**I finally finished the series, and it was AWESOME! Now onto finishing Ouran High School Host Club so me, Hunny, and Bun-Bun can have some cake. Please review or Hunny will cry. *bow* /(_ _)\**


	24. Rejoice!

**Namie POV**

_Another day earns me another dollar…_I thought to myself as I paced down the hallway of the all-too-familiar Shinjuku apartment building. As much as I have to put up with when I waste my time here, it should be a lot more than that, but whatever. I do this to protect my precious angel of a brother, as I did just a few weeks ago. The poor thing caught something from all this winter chill, and since that stupid little annoying airhead hadn't the first clue on how to nurse someone back to health, he called me.

My heart soars every time I think about it.

Watching him slurp his chicken soup out of the spoon as I supported his back, his innocent face when I gave him his dose of medicine, and the small little blush that grew on his face every time he coughed or sniffled – all of it was just too adorable.

Still, all good things come to an end, I suppose, but it happens way too fast. Seiji was healed and all better in almost no time at all, so here I am, strutting right back into this little troll's abode. Although, I have a feeling that things will be much quieter and maybe even calmer when I get there, him giving up that little baby for adoption. He was very cute, I'll admit, but everyone who's worked with Orihara would also know that he's not fit to raise a child on his own. If he wants to do it another way and get married, then have kids, I see no problem with that. It's just that too many red flags went up when I saw that infant in Izaya's arms.

I reached Orihara's door and heaved a huge sigh, already knowing what I was going to have to say.

"Orihara!" I shouted as I unlocked the door and swung it behind me, "I'm back. Seiji's fine, he's okay, so here I am – what do you want me to do now?"

…Surprisingly, I heard no answer.

"Orihara, I don't like repeating myself – answer me!" I shouted again walking towards his desk. I suddenly got a bad feeling and remembered that Izaya's mood that day wasn't good at all when he gave up the baby. Growing apprehensive, I quickly walked a little further and cautiously peered behind his desk.

"Izaya, did you – ah! Oh my God!"

The frail man lay in an almost-fetal position, barely breathing. His eyes were squeezed shut and his face was pale. Rapidly, I checked the floor for any signs of blood, but found nothing after checking his wrists.

"Izaya! Izaya, can you hear me?!" I yelled in his ear and checked his pulse. I was weak, but it was still there. Grabbing his shoulders, I shook him violently, smacking his face a few times to make the color return to his cheeks.

"Izaya Orihara! Wake up! Wake up!"

He gave a sharp cough and groaned as I held him up in my lap.

"Nngh…N-Namie…?" he spoke softly, "Is that you?"

"Yes, what the hell happened to you?" I asked him, "What's going on?"

His eyes flickered, but they popped open, almost in realization as he frantically darted his eyes around the room.

"O-Orihara?"

He stopped and looked at me, completely broken, and tears welled up in his dull eyes before he collapsed in my lap, wrapping his arms desperately around my waist as he started to sob.

This was not typical behavior for him, and it almost frightened me.

"I-Izaya, I asked you what happened!" I said loudly over his cries, "Why are you crying like that? This isn't like you!"

He choked severely, but he finally made out a sentence.

"H-he…he's gone, N-Namie…my b-baby's gone…"

"Gone?" I repeated, "But…I don't understand…you gave the baby up for adoption right before I left to care for Seiji. You did, didn't you?"

The raven sobbed louder and thrashed his head in a fierce "no".

My eyes widened, "Wait, you didn't?! Why did you do that?"

The man balled his fists by my sides, "I…I couldn't do it, Namie. There was no way that I could. Kishou-chan…he needed me…and I needed him, too…"

I sighed. I had a feeling that that was _precisely_ what was going to happen.

"So now what? Was he kidnapped?"

"I don't know!" the informant wailed, "Last night…we both went to bed around nine. I remember changing him into his night onesie and singing him a song. He fell asleep…in my arms…oh, God…"

"Alright, alright – just calm down." I said softly, stroking his hair gently, "We'll find him, don't worry, because if you keep crying like that, you're bound to have a heart attack. Speaking of which, why were you out here sprawled out behind your desk?"

He sniffled and rose himself slightly to get eye-level with me, "When I woke up and I didn't see him, I looked everywhere. I went all the way to Ikebukuro and back twice and circled around Shinjuku. I came back and broke down on the floor. I blacked out and stayed that way until you came."

"I got it now." I responded slowly, "I know you want to run off and kill the son of a bitch that might have your child, but, Izaya…for now, there's nothing we can do. I know calling the police is not an option, but don't take matters into your own hands. Just wait."

He was racked with sobs again, "K-Kishou…what…what am I supposed to do? Why did this have to happen?! Namie, he and I were so happy, not a care in the world, so tell me why! Oh, God!"

"Izaya, calm yourself. I can't say that I know what you're going through, but I know that it hurts. Even so, we can't do anything yet. Please just wait with me – I won't go anywhere."

…Am I serious? I'm just his secretary, and now I've been promoted to his psychiatrist.

But…he can't be trusted to be alone anymore.

"Wait with me, Izaya. Just wait…"

"I can't…I…I gotta go look for him…I have find him...otherwise what kind of mommy would I be…?! My precious baby..."

* * *

**Shizuo POV**

"Well, L.D., I'm off~" I piped cheerfully to the black cat staring at me with bright green eyes. I ended up developing a soft spot for the feline and decided to keep it. Pets weren't allowed in this building, but it shouldn't be a problem. Last night, I wondered about a name for the cat. I kept thinking "Little Dude" the whole time, but since that would be kind of an awkward name, I just settled on "L.D." for short.

"Don't scratch up anything while I'm gone, alright?"

L.D. mewed happily and purred, brushing up against my leg in a gesture for "See ya when you get back."

I grinned and grabbed my sunglasses off the kitchen table, leaving the TV on so it wouldn't be too quiet for L.D. I spent almost the whole morning cleaning up the place, yet it still only looks half decent.

"Later!"

About ten minutes after I left, I found the corner to meet with Tom. I stood there, quietly and sometimes lifting my head up to spot a passing airplane, until suddenly, I heard someone spit.

I looked to the right and saw two men walking out of a nearby coffee shop. One had steaming hot coffee on the back of his suit from the second man spitting it out on him, but both didn't seem to mind as they stared at me with wide eyes, starting to quiver.

"_Oh, my God…!_" the first man whispered fiercely to the other man, "_Is that…? Is that…?!_"

"_Shizuo Heiwajima!_" the second man replied, "_I-I thought he was gone for good! I didn't think he was dead, but still!_"

My amused grin slowly turned to an annoyed expression as the men continued to talk as if I couldn't hear them, and soon, their so-called "confidential" conversation attracted the many stares and murmurs from others surrounding them.

"_Holy Shizznit – Shizuo Heiwajima's okay!_"

"_Thank goodness…_"

"_Wha? Are you friggin' daffy?! Ikebukuro's back in Hell again!_"

"_He's right! We ought to be runnin' for our lives!_"

"_Why won't he die…?_"

"_He's like Superman! Without the cape and tights…_"

"_We should pray for all the poles and signs out there for their safety!_"

My eyebrows twitched and my veins began to throb, but I saw Tom coming down the street with a happy smile on his face. But then, my eyes caught notice of the stop sign to my left…just standing there…

"_We're screwed…_"

"_No kidding, but I'd love to see another one of his good, ole fashioned "Izaya Orihara Ass-Kicking" shows!_"

That did it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRHHHHH!"

"_Oh, crap – here we go!_"

In the midst of my rage, I heard Tom sigh.

"Ah…'Bukuro's happy to see you, too."

Oh, but my rampage only caused more people to show up, then came camera flashes, then came a FREAKING NEWCAST. I must've uprooted over a dozen innocent inanimate objects, and when I shockingly ran outta stuff around me to throw, I had only two options.

a) Stay for an interview.

b) Haul ass.

I proudly say to this day that I chose Option "b".

I twisted on my heels and ran as fast as I could down the street with a whole mixed mob chasing after me. I passed Tom giving him a rush of wind through his dreadlocks.

"H-hey, Shizuo!" he called, "Where are you going?!"

"I'm just gonna jinx 'em!" I yelled back, "I won't be long!"

* * *

**Namie POV**

"Damn it…damn it!" I cursed again after calling him for the umpteenth time. The guy calms down enough that he complies with getting some rest on the couch, and while I'm sorting out some documents he left upstairs, he slips out right from under my feet. I know he shouldn't have been left alone, but...DAMN IT ALL!

"_I'm sorry. The person you are trying to call-_"

"UGH! Orihara, you bastard – pick up!"

I swear, if he does anything stupid…

* * *

**Shizuo POV**

After another five straight minutes of running, I huffed. I bet L.D. is rolling around on the carpet, laughing his little ass off right now if he's watching me on the news of my return.

Suddenly, I ran right over somebody and crumbled to the cement on top of the victim.

"My bad, my bad!" I apologized as I hovered over the person and rubbed my head, "It's just not often that you get swarmed by a bunch…of…"

I trailed off, realizing the person that I just bumped into.

"…Izaya…?"

He blinked and I felt him tremble.

"…Shi…Shizu-chan…"

* * *

**Ah, such a nice cliffhanger, ne?! The main reason why I didn't go into too much detail with Izaya's first reaction was because...I simply had no idea how to write it. So, I used Namie to kinda bring her back in and give him someone to pour all this stuff into.**

**So sleepy now...I think I'll go snuggle up with my Rin Kagamine plushie since I've been listening to her song, "Kokoro" all day. Bai-Bai, and Nighty-Night~ o(_ _)o Zzzzz...**


	25. Encounter

"…Izaya-kun…?"

"Shi…Shizu-chan…"

"Kyaaa!" I heard a girl squeal, "It's Izaya! Izaya and Shizuo have seen each other for the first time in twelve weeks!"

"Aw, sweet! Kick his ass, Shizuo!"

I flinched. Izaya Orihara is right up under me…literally! What am I supposed to do?

"Shizu-chan…g-get…get off of me!" the raven yelled, beginning to thrash. I turned my head to see Izaya barely nicking me on the wrist with his flick blade. In shock, I jumped off of him and held my wrist defensively.

"Tch…what the hell's your problem, flea?!" Not a good way to start off a nice relationship, but this was bad. He tried to slit my wrist the first time he saw me in three months. His eyes were filled with a burning hate, stronger than anything I've ever felt from him before.

"That's my line!" he yelled back, no trace of that trademark smirk, "You should've stayed out of the way, and why are you alive anyway?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"

I flinched at his choice of words, but I ultimately tried to find a way for both of us to vent. It surely wasn't going to happen with the growing crowd surrounding us.

_Dammit, dammit, dammit…this is getting really bad…_

My eyes searched for any type of opening in the large crowd. Eventually, I found a small split between a group of teenage girls, and if I played it right, it would lead right to an alleyway. I looked at Izaya, only a few feet away from me, and I quickened my breath.

"It's risky…" I said aloud, and in the next second, I grabbed Izaya's arm and latched onto it, strongly pulling him with me, "But it's worth a shot!"

The crowd gasped as I took off, but the informant was absolutely none too pleased.

"Wha...What're you doing, protozoan?!" he screamed in frustration as he was practically dragged down the street. At this rate, his legs were virtually running by themselves, almost tripping him up. "Where are you taking me, you damned idiot?! Let me go!"

I didn't answer, only looking behind me every so often to check on our progress. They were still hot on my trail, but I spotted the alleyway and swooped around the corner. I put my back against the bricks, still clutching onto Izaya's arm, and dropped down to the ground, hiding both of us behind a dumpster. I held my breath and cocked an eye, watching the large mob rushing down the street, and sure enough, they ran excitedly past us without a second thought.

I took a long-needed sigh and began to turn back to the raven while loosening the grip on his arm but still held onto it.

"Geez…" I huffed, "I think we're safe for-"

SMACK!

"…"

"**Let. Go. Of. Me.**"

_…I don't believe it._

_Izaya just…he hit - no…he __**slapped**__ me._

I took in the dull sensation that rang against my cheek, and I lightly touched the spot with a slow-moving hand. I looked to the raven in front of me with shocked eyes while his were filled with anger and a hint of sorrow. I glared at him, but I held back my temper the best I could.

"What the hell was that for?!" I asked him loudly, "I take you away from all those pests and to show your thanks, _you slap me_?"

He breathed heavily and almost shrieked, "Who the hell said I wanted to be saved by you?! I was never in trouble, and I told you to let go of me!"

"Well, _SORRY_…" I said rolling my eyes, "I thought you would've at least said 'Thank you' but I guess that's too much to-"

"**Shut up.**"

I paused for a few seconds, but picked back up on the one-sided conversation.

"Now that I think about it, why'd you do that?"

"Do what?!"

"Why did you try to cut my wrist when I ran into you?"

He didn't answer at first, but suddenly, he chuckled with a growing smirk on his face. This smirk, however, was far from happy, funny, or snarky.

It was filled to the brim with detestation.

"To be honest, I don't even know why I tried…" he answered still chuckling, "It's not like you're gonna die soon anyway…No matter how much I could wish for it, you escape Death's realm every time…"

"…That doesn't really answer my question…"

"Tch!" he scoffed, "Don't you get it?! Stupid idiotic protozoan…"

He began to stomp off back into the street.

"Wha…what?!" I yelled after him, "Wait a minute, Izaya! Let me-"

"Just shut up!" he snarled looking back at me again, "You are so stupid! So goddamn stupid! Why can't you see it?! I hate you, I can't stand you, but no matter how many times we fight, I still can't kill you! You're absolutely the worst thing I've ever had to put up with over the years! You're gone for three months, and then you just pop up and act all nice to me as if you changed somehow! Nothing changed - you're still just as dense like the protozoan you always were! I can barely stand to look at you, let alone be near you! And yet…a-and yet…"

He stopped, trembling, and gradually fell to his knees. He scooted his back towards the brick wall and placed his palms on his face to cover his eyes.

"And yet…" his speech muffled, but it was clear he was about to cry, "I-I can't stop looking at you…because…every time I do, I see…my…oh, God…"

He broke down, his sobs loud and desperate. His hands were still over his face, but clear, shiny tears ran down and dripped off his chin.

"My little boy…" he cried on, "Why did he have to look like you of all people?! Now he's gone and you're back in Ikebukuro to try and kill me again like you always do, but…but now you're not even screaming or attempting to throw anything from a punch to a stop sign at me…why? Why is nothing going back to where things are supposed to be…? I…I hate you! I fucking hate you so much…!"

He sobbed some more, and I, not having moved once since his speech, sighed and put my hands in my pockets. I took out my box of cigarettes, took one out, and lit it with the lighter I fished out from my other pocket. While inhaling the nicotine, I trudged over slowly to the informant and boldly planted myself right next to him, fairly close.

"Don't touch me."

"I'm not."

"Just…don't get near me."

"I'm not trying to. I just want to talk to you."

"Oh, please…" he said grabbing a fistful of his hair, "Just go away…or better yet, just kill me while you still have this chance!"

My eyes widened. This is exactly what I was afraid of. He's getting all suicidal and "Kishou" hasn't even been missing for a full 24 hours. Taking another drag of my cigarette, I sighed.

"…No."

"What?"

"I'm not going to kill you, Izaya, so just forget it."

"…You're…" he pulled his hood over his head, "You're really stupid, Shizu-chan. I can't say that enough. Don't you even have the _slightest_ temptation to do away with me once and for all?"

"…Well," I spoke softly, "Let's just say I have a debt I owe."

He sniffled, "That's bull."

"And that's a bit cold," I pointed out, "So every time I run into you, it's _mandatory_ to throw something at you?"

"That's the way it's been for the longest, idiot!" he yelled after yanking the hood off. Then his head dropped back down in his arms for more sobbing.

I let him cry a bit more before speaking again.

"Izaya…let's just say that my little absence _did_ change something about me. Something that made me realize that…we both kinda screwed up the first time we met. We acted…immature."

I made sure not to say the word "childish"…

"I know this it's crazy that I'm sitting this close to you, and it's even crazier that I sa- well, kinda saved you. But I guess…"

The raven slowly picked up his head again.

"You guess what? Spit it out already."

I took another puff of my cigarette.

"…Why don't we just call it a truce and…s-start over?

"…Start over…?"

"Y-yeah…I mean, don't you think things will get better if we get to know each other better? I'm not saying we try to be 'best friends forever' or anything like that, but…why not just kinda…call everything off and let bygones be bygones? Maybe that'll fix some things in both our lives, because…I can tell – you're not really in the best mood to fight me, not even to look at me…am I wrong?"

"…"

"So…what do you say?"

"…"

"…Ah, I see…" I scratched the back of my neck and stood up, ready to leave, "Maybe I'm just being an idiot again…sorry about that – I'll go."

I was about to do just that, until I felt something tug on my dress shirt. I glanced down to see two teary crimson eyes looking back at me.

"Shizu-chan…I…"

"Yeah?"

"I, um…"

"Hmm?"

He tensed, then he finally sighed in frustration.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Huh?"

He drew his legs in and nestled his head on top of his knees.

"I'm just not…ready…for _anything_ just yet…"

"Oh, uh…I'm sorry-"

"Stop apologizing, protozoan." He stated, "What I meant was…you see…"

"Yeah?" I asked, sitting back down next to him. I noticed his eyes getting teary, so this time I gave him a bit more room.

"…Recently, I…I lost something very important and dear to me…"

"Oh…" I said, looking up to the heavens. Until then, I didn't even notice the temperature dropping or it beginning to cloud up in the sky, "So…how much did this thing cost, exactly?"

"…It was…precious. Truly irreplaceable and priceless. Just precious…"

He choked, fighting to hold back tears, and I down casted my mocha eyes. It made me feel guilty for asking, especially since I knew exactly what he was looking for. Every piece of logic that Shinra handed to me about not telling Izaya the truth was about to be flown out the window. I knew that it was a bad idea, but…honestly, I'm so scared at how he'll react if I do tell him.

"It's okay…you don't have to go into detail about it if you don't want to…All I can say is that…I'm…I'm sorry to hear about that, and…I hope you get it back, whatever it was that you're looking for."

"Yeah…" he responded quietly. The first snowflakes began their pilgrimage down towards Earth.

"Thanks, proto-...thanks, Shizu-chan."

"Mm." was all I said, but on the inside, I was in shock that those words came out of Izaya Orihara's mouth, "Now…another thing…"

He flinched when he saw me reaching into the pockets of my vest, but he relaxed his muscles when I pulled out some tissue.

I handed it to him and shrugged it off, "You should wipe your face. You don't wanna look like you got your ass kicked and went home crying, do you?"

He sniffled again, taking the tissue gingerly, and softly blew his nose.

"Mm-hmm…"

I smiled to myself as I watched him clean himself up. He caught note of this and frowned.

"What're you smiling about?"

I shook my head, "Nothing – I should be on my way, though. I still got work to do with Tom, and in the meantime, you should probably get home before any more trouble comes, okay?"

"…But I -" He was ready to object, but it wasn't until soft, white snowflakes began to fall from the sky. We both stared at them a bit, giving a vibe of peace. Finally, Izaya caught onto a breath that was prepared to give reason why he shouldn't go back to Shinjuku right away, but he ended up sighing and hung his head, nodding reluctantly.

"Alright, good." I finally said while trying to ignore the exhausted look on his face, but as I turned around to go, I called Izaya's name. He looked at me expectantly, and I flashed him a cautionary, yet discontented expression.

"Izaya-kun, don't do anything stupid."

* * *

**Me: Oh, this is getting intense! It feels just like a double rainbow!**

**Izaya: ...**

**Shizuo: ...'Kay, what the hell is a "double rainbow"?**

**Izaya: Shizuo, don't!**

**Me (singing): Double rainbow, all the way, 'cross the sky! YEEEAAAAAAAH - IT'S SO INTENSE!**

**Izaya: ...Goddamn you, Shizu-chan...**

**Shizuo: ...Meh...uh, please review...**

**Me: Double rainbow, all the way, 'cross the sky! Wow - Wow, oh my God! LOOK AT THAT RAINBOW! XD**


	26. The Pains We Both Feel

"…What the…?" Izaya stared at me dumbfounded, "What do you mean?"

I ruffled my hair, "Just do what I asked, flea. For once? Please?"

Izaya frowned slightly. "Y-yeah. Okay…but…what stupid thing would I do?"

I unconsciously shuddered, immediately thinking of all possible ways Izaya could ease the pain of losing a child. I saw him overdosing, jumping off a building, maybe even shooting himself in the head – all of them showed his tear-stained face. My stomach suddenly twisted, and I put a hand over my mouth.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya called. I couldn't answer as I tried to hold it down. I don't usually get nauseas from images like that, but the thought of the flea committing suicide because of me made me feel sick.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya tried again. This time, I took a deep breath and swallowed.

"I'm fine…" I cleared my throat, "Just…just take care of yourself, okay?"

"Wha-?"

"And if you don't want to hear me say that, just pretend someone else you're comfortable with said it instead of me…"

As the snow continued to fall, an awkward air rose between us. Then, I heard Tom's voice, distantly calling my name.

"_Shizuo! Yo, Shizuo! Where are you, man?! Don't you go AWOL on me again!_"

I chuckled, and looking down at Izaya, I said, "That's my cue – gotta go."

Izaya nodded, pulling himself off the ground. He brushed the snow off his body and ran past me after mumbling a quick, "See ya."

I stayed in my spot, sighing, and walked slowly out of the alleyway, making myself visible to my boss.

"Oh, good!" Tom panted, "Thought you were gone again for a second there."

"No, no," I smiled, "No more of that."

"…You okay, man?" he asked, "You look…ill."

"Oh, uh…I'm fine." I shook my head, "A little queasy, I'll admit."

"Really?" Tom shifted, "Maybe you should go on home...'cause you're not one to get sick easily, right?"

The memory of me practically choking when I had pneumonia and Izaya's emotional state that morning raced back in my mind again.

"R-right…"

"Do you need a bit more time to recover? Maybe your, uh, previous condition had some side effects."

"Tom, I don't want to leave you so soon." I argued, "It just doesn't feel right that I just got back to work, and I'm already leaving again."

"Dude, chill out. It's not going to be a problem. True, there are a lot of people who've skipped out on their dues since you've been gone, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your health to find them. What good will it be if we're looking for someone tougher than the rest and you're sick?"

I nodded solemnly, "…I guess you're right…"

"Of course," he piped, turning on his heels, "Get some rest, will ya? Call me when you feel better or if you need anything."

"O-okay. See you around, Tom…" I hung my head. Now I can't even let work get Izaya off my mind. I shook my head in disbelief and looked up at the snowing sky.

"…Might as well pick up some stuff for L.D." I said running through some things I could buy for a cat.

* * *

**Izaya POV**

_Shizu-chan…_I thought as I slowly walked back home. _What's wrong with him all of sudden? It almost feels like he's worried about me…_

Speaking of worried, I know Namie must be just that, or at least very pissed at me for leaving without telling her first. Last time I checked, I wasn't on house arrest, so I have every right to go out and find my child.

I put a hand to my chest and clutched my shirt, breathing deeply. My heartbeat suddenly went faster and faster until I breathed steadily enough to get it back to its regular pace.

"_That's the second time that's happened…_" I whispered to myself when I found another alleyway to sit down in. I don't know what's going on, but every time I think about Kishou, my heart just goes off the meter. I thought they were just panic attacks, but it seems worse than that. There's no pain, just a lot of pressure in my chest.

"_I need to find you soon, or neither of us is going to make it, huh, Kishou?_" I said aloud, hoping I'd get an answer from him. Tears come to my eyes again and I put a hand to my forehead to keep it from pounding. My phone vibrates once again, either a text message or a phone call from Namie, and it gets the no response from me as the others didn't either.

I get up from my spot and start walking again towards Shinjuku. I keep walking until I see the familiar street where my apartment lies. I was about to approach the building until I heard someone gruffly say, "Well, well, well~ If it isn't Izaya Orihara – the man who made my life a living hell."

I freeze and gradually turn around to meet the cruel gaze of a man in his early thirties in a blue hoodie and a scarf tied around his neck. He had a large murderous grin and a two piercings in his left ear and one through his nose. I recognized him, but the name suddenly slipped my mind.

"What?" the male laughed and stepped closer, "Don't remember me? I'm sure Mi-chan has talked to you about me. After all…in about five or six months, I'm gonna have a shitload of child support bills to pay 'cause of her and you!"

"…'Mi-chan'?" I asked, then it hit me, "Ms. Mizuki…you're her baby's father, right? Gouke Hatsuda?"

"Ding-Ding!" he mocked and stepped even closer, "Now for another question – who's ass do you think I'm bustin' today? I'll give you a hint: who's fault is it that I now have to take care of some bitch I knocked up and her kid? Try looking in a mirror."

Any other day, I would've smirked and told him to kiss my ass, but when I reached into my jacket pocket, I didn't feel my flick blade.

_Shit! I left it in the street when I tried to cut Shizu-chan! _I yelled in my head. At this point, my wits were my best weapon.

I put on my trademark smirk, "Huh…well, as much as I would love staring in a mirror, I'm afraid I don't have time to play any games. Kinda busy right now – you understand, I'm sure~"

"Shut the hell up!" he yelled and grabbed my arm, pulling me into a dark street corner, which had only grown darker because of the lack of sunlight. He pinned both my arms above my head and leaned in close to my face.

"Y'know what happens to people who try to screw me over?" he asked maliciously. I flinched when he brought his free hand to my stomach, slightly lifting up my shirt, "They get **screwed**."

I hurled spit in his face, making him growl.

"Get your fucking hands off of me!" I screamed, but he stuffed his scarf in my mouth, gagging me.

"Normally, I'm not into guys..." he said lifted my shirt all the way up and pinching one of my nipples, "But you have the body of a nineteen year old girl. I'll just play pretend~"

I tried to scream again, but the piece of think fabric was lodged deeply in my mouth. I let out a moan when he started sucking on my pink buds, but I dealt a swift kick to his groin, making him shriek in pain. I took the chance, pulled the scarf out of my mouth, and ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I heard Gouke curse at me again, but I heard another terrifying sound.

A gun cocked and fired.

An agonizing pain lodged itself in my back.

I fell in the snow on my knees and collapsed, breathing heavily. Tears were freely flowing from my eyes, and I began thinking about the day Kishou was almost abducted. I can remember every word I said to him.

_Yes, Kishou-chan, I'm your mommy. _

_Shh, shh, it's okay…Mommy's not gonna let that mean man…or anyone else hurt you, 'kay? _

_Mommy will always protect you, so it's alright…shh…_

"_Ki…Kishou…_" I breathe out, and my eyes see black.

* * *

**Shizuo POV**

I found a nearby pet store and looked around, wandering aimlessly until I found the cat section.

"Let's see now…" I pondered, picking up a little feathered mouse toy, "Maybe this'll keep him away from my bowties."

I chuckled at the little wrestle L.D. and I had this morning. He grabbed my bowtie and ran around the apartment, obviously wanting to play. It was kinda fun, but my bowties aren't really something to be used as playthings for felines. I smiled, but before I could look over some of the food brands I could get for him, I heard a loud bark followed by child's cry somewhere nearby. I looked to my right and saw a middle-aged woman with dark hair pushing a pink baby carriage with the little infant shedding hot tears.

The woman put her hand in the carriage and stroked the baby's face, somewhat calming it down.

"There, there, my darling~" she cooed, "It's alright…Mommy's here. It's just a doggie, see?"

A few seconds later, a man with a large black lab approached the two, apologizing for the noise. The dog sniffed in the carriage, making the little baby pull her body up from the sudden intrusion. The two adults laughed as the child's annoyed frown turned into a bright smile, and she began to play with the animal's ears, her tears gone instantly.

When the man left with his pet, the little girl started to whimper again, but her mother smiled warmly and sung to her daughter. The baby was slowly lulled to sleep as the mother continued her shopping.

"Such a good girl…" she whispered as she pushed the carriage elsewhere. I knew it was rude to stare, but the memories began to flood into my system again. Whenever I would stay quiet for Izaya while he worked or when I stayed still when he changed my diaper, he'd always praise me by kissing my forehead while running his fingers through my hair.

I gradually lifted a hand to my ear and massaged a few of my blonde locks.

It just didn't feel the same.

I sighed dejectedly and went ahead with my original plan of buying L.D. some stuff. When I left, I bought a bag of cat food, two bowls, a cat toy, a litter box, and collar with a license. As I walked home, the snow didn't let up and piled itself on my blonde hair. I didn't bother brushing it out until I finally reached my apartment door. The jingle of my keys must've excited L.D. because I heard his eager meowing from the other side of the door.

When I got in, the black cat rubbed himself all over my legs. I smiled and bent down, petting him gently.

"I'm home." I said, and L.D. mewed happily. Even though he was just a cat, it felt good getting a "Welcome home." when I come back to my place.

"I got you some stuff, L.D." I said unloading some of the things out of the bags. I threw his cat toy on the ground, and he immediately leaped at it, pawing the poor thing without mercy. I chuckled and filled up his new bowls with food and water, setting them by the fridge.

I sat down tiredly at the kitchen table and held my head up on the table with my fist. I tried to get the image of the baby girl in the carriage out, as well as the visuals of Izaya killing himself, but the second I did, I felt sick. The feeling was lot worse this time since the visions were a lot more vivid.

I suddenly retched, one hand over my stomach and the other over my mouth. I ran to the bathroom and hovered over my toilet, trying to hold it down. However, the memories and images all meshed together, creating a huge mess in my head and increasing my dizziness, then I finally vomited. With one of my hands still over my stomach, I coughed violently, retching again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw L.D. pushed his new toy to the side and sit in the doorway, expressing concern.

I spit twice into the toilet bowl to get the taste out of my mouth, and I flushed, wiping the sweat off my clammy face.

"Where the hell did all that come from…?" I asked myself panting and getting up to run some cold water in the sink. I rinsed my mouth out and splashed some of the water on my face. I grabbed the washcloth on my rack and soaked it in the cool water, wringing it out on my face, repeating the action multiple times until I thought the pains in my head and stomach were completely eradicated.

I seriously considered calling Shinra and asking about any side effects that could've stemmed from the cure, and after fumbling with the phone in my pocket for several minutes, I finally pulled it out. I realized that my whole body, not just my hands, were trembling. Then, I remember Izaya shaking the same way when he fell to his knees and sobbed in front of me.

_…Something's not wrong with __**me**__…_

_…It has to be-_

I jumped when my cell phone rang in my hands.

"Shinra?" I raised an eyebrow and flipped open the phone, "H-hello?"

"_Oh, God! Shizuo, please come over here quickly!_"

Something was definitely wrong. The doctor was panicked to the brim.

I grasped the phone with both my hands to hear him clearly, "What's wrong?"

"_Izaya! H-he's been shot!_"

I stiffened.

_…Shot…? God, please, not now…it's too early, not now…_

I rushed out of the bathroom and grabbed my coat, still on the phone. L.D. was rushing to keep up with me on my heels.

"How'd it happen?! Don't tell me he-"

"_No, no! A man in Shinjuku shot him in the street! His secretary was nearby looking for him when she heard it!_"

"How bad is it?!"

Suddenly, I heard excruciating screams come through the receiver.

"Shinra!" I yelled.

The screams got louder, then they seemed to get muffled.

"Shinra!"

"_I-it's okay – I'm here! H-he's been shot in the back! Just please, please get over here as fast as you can!_"

I grab my keys and huff, hearing one last thing in the background that sounded weak.

"_Sh-Shizu-chan…!_"

* * *

**Me: Happy St. Patrick's Day, you guys! ^^**

**Izaya: This chapter is anything but lucky for me...**

**Shizuo: Ditto.**

**Izaya: It's even worse that we're gonna have more bad luck because we're not wearing green...**

**Me (thinking evily): Hmm...Shizu-chan-**

**Shizuo: Pinch me and I'll make sure you'll never see a double rainbow EVER AGAIN.**

**Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T YOU DARE! DX**

**Izaya: Um, please review while I take care of this. Shizu-chan! Leave the double rainbows out of this! You know she doesn't like it!**


	27. Side Effects

_Dammit…dammit…goddammit…! This is all my fault…I-Izaya-_

I felt more bile trying to come up in my throat, and I slapped a forceful hand to my mouth. I gagged, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to hold it all down.

_This is the second time this is happening… _I coughed. I keep running and running, trying to get to Shinra's, but the closer I seem to get, the more I have the urge to vomit. Eventually, it was too much, and I put my hand against a brick wall and threw up in an alleyway.

"_S-shit…_" I groaned, trying to pull myself together. After spitting out some of the aftertaste, I wiped my face and started running again. I still felt more than nauseated, but I wasn't stopping for it anymore.

My head screamed at the muscles and bones in my legs to keep running, no matter what. The chill of the wind bit at my face as I continued on at my quickening pace. I saw Shinra's apartment building, and I immediately felt some relief come to me. However, I started retching again, expelling spit and other fluids once more before I even got to the entrance.

"…_Izaya…don't you die on me…_"

* * *

"Shinra! Celty! Open the door!" I yelled banging harshly on the door with one hand. My voice was muffled since my other hand was covering my mouth. The nausea was overwhelming at this point – so much, that I felt dizzy – but the noise was loud enough when Shinra hastily swished the piece of wood open.

"Shizuo! Good, you're here!" the doctor sighed heavily, "Come in and-"

"Izaya…" I panted, "Is he…Where is he?!"

Shinra looked very concerned at my current state, but he gestured me to come back in his operating room. I tried walking, but I almost collapsed and saw blurs in my vision. Luckily, Shinra caught me by the arm and struggled to hold me up.

"Shizuo?!" he yelped, "A-are you okay?! What's wrong?"

I hiccupped, "It's nothing – just a bit of nausea…"

"Nausea?"

"Yes, but I'm fine." I tried giving him a small smile, "Please take me back there."

The doctor looked very unsure, but he held me by the arm and led me down to the operating room.

"He's in here," he said pointing towards the open door further down with Celty in the middle of the frame.

She typed out a message when she saw both of us.

[Shizuo, what happened to you?]

"It's nothing, just some…" I trailed off seeing Izaya lying in a bed with an oxygen mask covering part of his face. I noticed little droplets of blood staining the sheets as his chest slowly heaved up and down. He was also connected to a monitor, beeping as his heart rate managed itself. There were thick bandages around his stomach, neck, and one of his shoulders. An IV ran down from his right hand and up to the bag full of clear fluid on a pole next to the bed, dripping liquid down the tube one drop at a time.

However, something about the monitor didn't look right to me. The beeping would speed up, then slow down, rarely staying in between. Shinra must've noticed this, and decided that maybe now was a good time to explain.

"He suffered a gunshot wound around his right shoulder blade, an inch or two below it. The anesthesia we gave him didn't come into effect as quickly as we wanted it to, so I had to remove the bullet manually."

I didn't say anything, continuing to stare at the man lying in almost death-like state.

"Of course, it normally shouldn't have been a problem either, but I noticed something off with his heart."

I cleared my throat, "Like what?"

"Well, as you have probably already observed, his heart rate wasn't stabilizing like it should've been. Granted, most humans with a bullet lodged in their body would have the same reaction, but Izaya's screams sounded worse than painful. His heart rate was going through the roof, therefore, increasing the rate of the bleeding, and when I got the bullet out, I took the precaution of hooking him up to a monitor and giving him oxygen."

"How is it now?"

Shinra sighed, "Well, it's not as bad as before since he's not screaming, kicking, and crying hysterically _now_, but I just don't understand why it's not leveling out. His breathings gotten better since the drug kicked in, but I asked Celty to stay in here to make sure he doesn't go into cardiac arrest."

I nodded, glancing at the monitor one more time. Those damn beeps…

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to meet Celty's form.

[I'm sure we'll find out what's up. He's going to be fine.]

I solemnly nodded again, sighing, and Shinra spoke again.

"Well, Shizuo, since you're here, let's talk about you for a second."

"Huh? Why about me?"

"I had a premonition that this would happen, but…you said that you have been feeling nauseas?"

"Yeah." I admitted, "I was just about to call you about any side effects your cure might've had, but you called me right in the moment when this happened."

"…So you actually vomited?"

"Yes, but the strange thing is…" I paused, almost embarrassed to tell him, "Whenever I think back to our conversation about Izaya doing something drastic in the middle of some depression, I get…sick. When I ran my way over here, I had to stop a few times to throw up as I got closer."

"Mm-hmm…" the brunette mumbled, "This is strange…"

"What?"

Shinra didn't speak for a while, sighing before he broke the silence.

"Well, earlier, when I finally finished the cure for you, I compared the original experiment the company made and the formulated experiment I made. The formulated experiment reverses, or rather, nullifies the effect of the original experiment."

"Obviously." I pointed out, "We already know that. What's weird about it?"

"That's what I thought at first." He went on, "After we sent you home with Izaya and the cure, I studied the two experiments a bit more. I found that there are some things taking their time to get back into 'adult mode', and while a few others…aren't going to be the same at all, particularly one trait."

"…Like what?" I turned to face him, looking more serious.

"For one thing, your nausea is probably coming from the sudden transition from baby to adult in such a short period, but some things include lapse in memory, some confusion – stuff that will balance out in a few weeks."

"Okay, but…what's the main thing that won't go back to normal?"

"…Hmm…"

"Shinra!"

"…Oxytocin."

"W-what?"

The doctor ran a hand through his brown locks, "Sometimes called 'the love hormone', but it's the main thing that helps mammals feel a bond or attraction to something. And calm down – I worded it wrong. It's only changed in the sense of the amount of oxytocin being released."

"…? Shinra, don't bullshit me and tell me what's going on!"

He sighed, "Put it like this – this hormone of yours is driving into an overload. For you, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm guessing that it was affected because of the parental bond you shared with Izaya. When you changed back, the oxytocin in your system stayed as it had been when you were a baby – very strong, in fact. I'd say the levels tripled."

"…So what are you saying?" I asked carefully.

"Right now, Shizuo, you still have that attachment to your 'mommy', except it's a lot stronger than before. To prove that, 1) the thought of Izaya being in trouble made you rush over here without a second thought, and 2) you're not harboring any hatred towards him anymore…or are you?"

I already had an answer for that.

"No, I'm not…but Shinra, it's mostly out of grati-"

"Save it, save it," he teased with a grin, "You demanded to see him the second you got here! That right there could speak for itself, but there's more than enough evidence to support my theory."

Now that he mentioned it, my nausea almost died down completely ever since I found Izaya here. He was in a very weak condition, but he was still breathing nonetheless. I had to admit – it was almost like my fears were washed away in an instant.

I held back a blush, grumbling. Celty and Shinra chuckled at this, but the dullahan seemed to think of something and typed out a message before showing it to Shinra.

"Hmm...that could work…" he pondered, then he turned back to me, "Okay, Shizuo – why not stay here with us for a few days?"

"Huh?" I questioned, "Why?"

[For one thing, it's so Shinra can make sure that what's going on with you isn't anything more serious.] Celty typed, [Also, you'll be able to stay here with Izaya and keep a close eye on him. How does that sound?]

I looked to the side, my eyes darted downward, but they soon widened again.

"Oh, no, I can't do that – I have to take care of L.D.!"

The duo sent me confused signals.

"Oh, right – when I came back to my place, I found a black cat hanging near the lobby and decided to keep it."

Shinra laughed, "No worries, my friend. We'll have everything arranged so that you and the cat can stay for a while. I just didn't know you had a soft spot for cute little kittens~"

I opened my mouth to respond, but I stopped when I heard a frail muffled noise and a small rustle of bed sheets. All three of us rushed to Izaya's side to find that he was furrowing his eyebrows, fingers twitching. Those crimson eyes gradually showed themselves, blinking to adjust to the bright lights in the room. He weakly made a quick scan of the room, finally resting his orbs on my face.

He murmured in the oxygen mask, trying to move a little more, "…_Shi…Shizu-chan…_"

I released the breath I was holding as Shinra smiled with glee. He motioned for Celty to get a damp towel from the bathroom as he checked Izaya's vital signs on the monitor.

"Well, good morning, there, sleepyhead!" he giggled, "You gave us quite a scare~!"

"…_Wh….where…am I…?_"

"In my operating room, silly – don't you remember? Your secretary, Ms. Namie, brought you down here. She said that you went out and about to Ikebukuro and that she was worried and went to look for you. Next thing I knew, I get a call from her saying you got shot in the back!"

He didn't answer to that, only attempting to move a palm to his chest, and immediately, he winced in pain.

"Oh, don't do that!" the doctor grabbed his wrist, "The bullet was lodged somewhere below your right shoulder. Try not to move so much – it took a while to stop the bleeding."

He blinked, carefully twisting his neck to look at the heart monitor. After staring at it for a while, he felt Celty come in and press a cool cloth to his forehead. He sighed at the sensation, trying to bring his left hand to his chest. He gasped softly, feeling around at the pads and wires attached to his chest. I could sense that he was a bit uncomfortable, so I stopped his probing hand with my own, making him flinch lightly.

"Calm down – those are for your monitor," I explained, "Are they too tight or something?"

He turned to look at me, eyes softening, and I felt a slight shake go through his body. Shinra perked his ear when he heard the beeping of the monitor go a little faster.

"…Izaya?" I asked, confused by his reaction, "What…what's wrong?"

Shinra went over to his side, "Izaya?"

The addressed quivered with tears forming in his orbs, and his heart rate continued to speed up. He tried biting his trembling lips, but tears were flowing freely down his cheeks. I leaned closer, holding onto his hand a little tighter, but he suddenly let out a loud cry, sobbing again through the transparent mask.

"Oh, my God…Izaya!" Shinra shouted, racing around the room as his patient's heartbeat raced, "Celty, get me a pair of gloves and a syringe!"

Izaya only cried louder, turning them into screams. He threw off the cloth to his head and clutched some of the wires connected to his chest, almost trying to rip them off. I held him down, trying to restrain him, yet trying not to hurt him.

"Izaya, stop that! Does it hurt?!" I yelled above his screams, "Where is it hurting?! Dammit, STOP IT!"

He thrashed, blowing off all the pain in his shoulder, and cried. Celty came over and used her shadows to tie the raven down, and Shinra rushed to the bedside, flicking the needle that the dullahan fetched for him. In the midst of the chaos, I heard Izaya trying to make out something.

"Alright, Izaya, this is gonna sting!" the doctor declared as the monitor beeped faster and faster still. He jabbed the needle in his uninjured arm, and immediately, the informant stopped his actions. He slowly lay back down to the bed, shaking, sweating, and breathing heavily, and his heart rate gradually settled to a fair speed.

I squeezed his hand, "Izaya…"

More tears ran down his face, but I felt him squeeze my hand back. It was weak, but I felt it. He uttered something before closing his eyes.

"…_Ki…shou…"_

* * *

**Well, there you have it! This story's going a lot further than I thought it would go...I guess that's a good thing. I think I have the ending planned out, but it's still kinda fuzzy. :p**

**Oh, well - please review! They're the beautiful double rainbows in my life! (YAH - you KNOW that's a good compliment from me~)**


	28. I Don't Hate You

I sat in a chair next to Izaya's bed for the third day in a row, eyeing the machine again with its irregular beeping sounds. I sighed, dropping my head in my hands. We finally got Izaya to settle down, but every now and then he'll shake and whimper in his sleep. Shinra could only get half of the medical pads back on his chest because whenever Izaya felt them nearing towards his skin, he started to thrash.

I bet that right there could be a difference between his life and death, but it seems as if he wants to die more than anything else. He gets squirmy when his IV has to be changed, and if he needs his pain medicine, he'll refuse to take it, resulting in Shinra having to crush it up and sneak it in his IV. His bullet wound has been healing greatly, but because of his heart condition and his current mental state, Shinra said he won't be leaving at the very least for three weeks, maybe even a month.

Sitting in this chair has been my routine since I moved in because it's obvious that Izaya can't be left alone. Four times within these past three days, we've had to sedate him from his crying episodes, the most recent one being only hours ago. I wish I could tell what was going through his mind, but I know that the biggest thing is his baby. More and more, I so desperately want to tell him the truth behind Kishou Orihara, but I'm so hesitant and scared. I've even related this to Shinra and Celty, and they don't even know what to do anymore.

I sighed again, looking up to see Izaya's limp palm lying next to him. Suddenly, I jumped when I felt something rub against my leg. I look down and see L.D. stroking his head on my pants, purring. He looked up at me with his greenish eyes and mewed, making the little silver tag on his collar with his name and my phone number shine brightly in the light.

I smiled, "Hey, Little Dude, what goes on?"

He stared at me, mewing again in concern. He rubbed against my leg once more.

I brought a hand to his head, scratching his favorite spot behind his ears.

"He'll be okay, L.D. I'm sure he will."

However, L.D. must've had a different plan and nipped my finger. I pulled my hand back and watched him run around to the other side of the bed. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he jumped on top of the bed, dangerously close to the numerous wires on Izaya's body.

"_L.D.!_" I whispered fiercely, "_L.D., bad kitty! Get down now!_"

Surprisingly, he ignored me and slowly paced over the gaps in the wires, stepping over the sleeping raven's stomach, and he gingerly made his way over to Izaya's hand.

"_No, no, no, no, no…!_" I almost shouted when the cat started nudging his pale, slender fingers, "_L.D., stop that!_"

I reached my hand to stop him from doing anything else, but he suddenly stopped and latched his teeth into my finger, trying to pull it towards him.

"_What the…?!_" I exclaimed, but I hushed when L.D. relaxed his grip on my digit as he brought closer to Izaya's. He pulled my hand over the informant's open palm, making them intertwine very loosely. I stared at the message the little black cat was trying to get across to me, almost in shock.

"L.D…." I started, softening my eyes, "You want me to hold Izaya's hand…is that it?"

L.D. meowed, dunking his head and nuzzling it against our two hands. I sighed in contentment, releasing my held breath, and gradually brought the frail palm into my own, tightening my grip around it. His cold skin was a deep contrast to mine, but I rubbed my thumb against his knuckles. Then, I slowly brought it to my face, wrapping my other hand around it to hold it closer.

"_Izaya-kun…_" I whispered, but out of the blue, I wanted to press my lips against that cool skin. I lowered them to his forefinger, placing a gentle kiss right on the tip. L.D. watched my every move as I kissed it again in the middle of the back of his hand. I had no idea what I was doing, but I suddenly felt a need to protect him.

From what?

I don't really know…I've already missed so much work in these past few days because I rarely get up from this seat, but I _do_ know that when or if he recovers, his life will never go back to the way it was unless something changes.

"Shizuo."

I heard my name and turned to see an exhausted Shinra leaning against the doorframe. Still, he had a warm smile on his face to hide the bags under his eyes.

"Hey, Shinra," I said putting down Izaya's hand, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was going to tell you that Celty and I – well, technically just 'I' – are about to have dinner."

"Oh."

The doctor sighed as L.D. jumped down and ran out of the room at the thought of food, "Shizuo, you need to eat something."

"I'm…not hungry," I tried to lie.

"Even after almost a day without food?"

"I had a sandwich this morning…and some water…"

"That's not enough, Shizuo," Shinra chided, "Come on and eat with us."

I furrowed my eyebrows, ready to decline the offer again, but I just turned back to look at Izaya, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.

"Don't worry, Shizuo," I heard Shinra say, "Other than his heart, Izaya's in a pretty stable condition. Please come with me and eat _something_. I'm begging you. I don't want to watch both of my very best friends wither away like this."

For a second, I thought Shinra was about to get on his knees and cry, but I just sighed in defeat.

"…Alright. Okay…" I got up from my chair, not wanting to part with the raven in the hospital bed, "I'm coming."

Shinra said something close to a "Thank God" under his breath and joyfully led me out of the room.

"Well, how does a meal with fried shrimp and curry bread sound to you? Hmm?"

* * *

**Izaya POV**

…_Shizu-chan…was just here, right…?_

_I felt him…hold my hand…and he kissed it, too…_

My auburn eyes squinted and partially opened, still not able to get used to the brightness around me. I feel more of those damned wires and stuff on my chest, and I want nothing more than to take them off and rid myself of that God-awful beeping noise.

They think I can't hear that? Matter of fact, it's loudest in _my_ ears.

I whined softly in the green gas mask, trying to turn my head to get it off, but it was futile. I raised the hand that Shizu-chan held, holding it some ways above my face.

"_Shizu…chan…why are you…doing this…?_"

The beeping started speeding up again, and I grabbed the mask, ripping it off and throwing it to the floor. I panted from the sudden action, my monitor going even faster. I felt small drops of sweat coming to my forehead, and my cheeks started flushing.

"_Shizu-chan…_" I tried to call, "_I…I can't…Shizu-chan…please…stop it…_"

I was referring to that wretched noise from the machine. My hands started shaking, itching to stretch towards the thick green cord that made me cling to the strands of my life. I twisted my head again, wanting it to shut off so I would finally be in peace.

I wanted to cry again, but only a few tears escaped from my eyes.

"_Please…turn it off, Shizu-chan…please…stop it…_"

I was getting more frantic by the minute, uncomfortably shuffling my legs.

"_Shizu-chan…! M-make it…make it stop…! Make it stop…Shizu-chan…!_"

My voice was too frail and weak to make any type of noise loud enough for anyone to hear, and I ended up tiring myself out from my fuss. My eyes then rested again on the cord to the monitor, connected to the machine as well as an outlet close to the bed. I started thinking as the beeping continued.

…_Pull it…_

…_Stop this noise…_

…_And maybe you'll see your child again._

"_Kishou…_" My hand slowly approached the dangerous cord, "_I…I can't…live without you anymore…I can't…_"

* * *

**Shizuo POV**

"Ah, how delicious~!" the underground doctor stretched his arms above his head, halfway through his meal, "Wouldn't you agree lovey-dove?"

Celty typed in sarcasm from the other side of the table, [Is that supposed to be a joke?]

Shinra laughed, "Oh, no, no, no! I'll let you cook the next one, my dear!"

[Yeah, right…]

Shinra and Celty seemed to be the only ones involved in conversation, seeing as though I was barely eating a thing, let alone speaking. Celty and Shinra caught whiff of my gloom, letting their laughter drift off somewhere.

[Shizuo, you've hardly touched you food.] Celty's message read, [We're really concerned about you.]

"Yeah," Shinra pointed out, "I thought maybe it was just another side effect, but you've been tied down to that room since day one. You look completely worn down."

I nodded, taking another small bite out of my curry bread just to make them happy, "I don't feel like doing anything else…I _can't_ do anything else…"

[You can **at least** eat and sleep.]

I sighed, toying with a shrimp tail on my plate, "I just don't know what to do with him anymore. I mean, how do you think he's going to live the rest of his life if he gets out of here? Simply put, he just won't."

The couple sat in silence for a few minutes, and L.D. finished up his bowl of food and ran down the hall to play. Shinra pushed up his glasses.

"Well, I knew he was going to go through _some_ type of depression, but I never would've dreamed of the possibility of him getting shot. He's resisting to eat, too, like he doesn't even want to get better…I didn't think it would be this bad."

"I had a thought it would be." I responded, "When we met up, he wanted me to kill him on the spot, then he got angry because I wouldn't. I thought that maybe since I looked like his child, he'd be more willing to talk to me, but all this is contrary to that."

[Shinra.] Celty turned towards her husband, [Please just tell Izaya the truth. He can't take much more.]

Shinra's grey eyes looked downward in thought, "…Celty…I'm so scared to tell him because of what he might do…"

"You think I'm not afraid, too?" I asked, "I've been thinking the same thing. Izaya's strapped to a hospital bed, cords, wires, and pads stringing everywhere from his body. Hell, he's practically on life support with a mask over his face - there's no way he can take all this for three weeks! He needs some-"

**MEEEEEOOOOWW!**

We all froze at the sound of a cat's yowl coming from down the hall.

"Oh, God…" I jumped from the table, running as fast as I could to the operating room, "L.D., what's wrong?!"

Shinra and Celty followed suit, rushing to catch up to me. I wasn't even halfway there when I heard the erratic noise of the machine. I busted in, horrified to see Izaya desperately trying to pull the plug out from his heart monitor, my cat yowling and urgently scratching his arm to get him to stop.

"IZAYA! IZAYA, STOP!" I screamed and ran to the bedside, grabbing his wrist.

Shinra and Celty dashed to get various medical equipment to sedate the informant, but Izaya thrashed violently.

"Izaya, stop!" Shinra yelled at him trying to gather a stronger sedative, "Please, Izaya, stop this! You don't know what you're doing!"

"I…I can't…!" Izaya shouted, "I…I can't live anymore…! Let go, Shizu-chan – please-"

"Stop it, Izaya!"

"Let-"

"Izaya, dammit – LISTEN TO ME!"

"GO!"

"IZAYA!"

…The beeping stopped, but we all froze to the sound of a flat line.

"I-Izaya…?" I said above a whisper, grasping his hand that held the now-loosened cord in his palm.

I couldn't even hear Shinra's yells to Celty to get a defibrillator. I couldn't even hear L.D.'s distressed meows and he practically ran around the room in a panic. A cold sweat ran across my body as I watched the dullahan plug the machine back up, not a sound to be heard.

_Izaya…_

…_Why would you-_

"Izaya!" Shinra pushed me out of the way as the two electric pads charged up. Celty pulled me back even further to try and relieve me of my shock. I was shaking, almost wanting to break down on the floor and cry.

"Hang on, Izaya…" Shinra murmured frantically as he rubbed the pads together, "Come on, buddy…come on, buddy – CLEAR!"

He put the pads on the raven's chest, giving him a healthy dose of electricity to revive his heartbeat. His chest jerked up, but the flat line continued.

"Izaya, come on!" the doctor had tears in his eyes as the defibrillator charged up again, "Don't slip under me – come on! CLEAR!"

Another sudden jolt of his chest, but no sign of his life.

"Izaya, please!" Tears were now pouring down Shinra's face, "Please don't die on us now! C-CLEAR!"

Nothing again.

"CLEAR, CLEAR, Clear...clear...Goddammit, clear..." the underground doctor trailed off, his arms weakening as his tears dripped on Izaya's lifeless body.

Shinra's sounds of grief combined with Celty's trembling form – I couldn't take it. I tore away from Celty's grip and ran to the bed again. Shinra was charging up the defibrillator again, ready for one last try. I grabbed the raven's hand, holding it close.

"Izaya, please don't go! You can make it through this! You can go back to work, you can watch over humans, and you can have another child! I know all about Kishou Orihara and what happened to him, but you can't die now! We can help you – _I_ can help you, but please…" my voice cracked, "You…you can't die…please, Izaya…"

I tore myself away from him, and Shinra shocked him.

...Then, beeping was heard.

It was slow…but I definitely heard it.

I looked down to see Izaya barely breathing on his own again.

"_Izaya…?_" I called softly, going to the back of the bed where his face was up towards me, and sure enough, his eyes opened.

"..._Shi...zu...chan…Shi...Shizu-chan…_" he mumbled weakly.

I sighed in utter relief, dropping to my knees to get eye-level with him. Shinra breathed out a huge smile and wiped his tears away.

"Oh, thank God!" he said grabbing a gas mask and putting it over the informant's mouth, "Izaya, I'm so glad you're alive – we all are!"

"_Oh…Shizu-chan-_"

I didn't hear him call me, "Listen, don't you ever do that EVER again – do you hear me?! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"_Shizu-chan…_"

"See? This is exactly why I didn't want to leave you! If I have to stay in here 24/7 – sleep, eat, everything else – then I will!"

"_**Shizu-chan…**_"

I finally stopped my lecturing and sensed his voice calling to me.

"Y-yes?"

He shut his eyes and whimpered, "…_I'm hungry._"

My face broke into a wide and happy grin as well as Shinra's.

"Yes, of course…" I chuckled, stroking his hair, "Of course you're hungry after all this time. What would you like?"

"…_O…oo…_"

"'O'? 'O' what?"

"…_O…ootoro…_"

"Fatty tuna, huh? Consider it done."

Celty and Shinra took the hint and went to the kitchen to prepare the informant the fish. I took this time to wipe the sweat off his forehead, putting my cheek against it.

"Izaya…please don't scare me like again…please…"

"…_But Shizu-chan…_" he huffed, "_I-I don't…understand…Shizu-chan __**hates**__ me…_"

I leaned in closer, taking ahold of his pale hand, kissing the tip of one of his fingers.

"No, Izaya. I don't. Not anymore."

* * *

**Me: Ah, this story's going in all kinds of directions...how do I come up with this?!**

**Shizuo: Beats me.**

**Izaya: Hey, Writer-san - a word.**

**Me: Yes?**

**Izaya: ...WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO KILL ME?**

**Me:...How the hell should I know? It's fun? Almost as fun as putting Peeps in the microwave~**

**Izaya: Sadist.**

**Me: Honey, you really can't talk.**

**Shizuo: Alright, guys, enough. Please review.**

**Me: Yep! And have a Happy Easter! (BTW: if you happen to see a dead rabbit on the road with a basket filled with colored eggs, I DIDN'T DO IT. I hung out with my Usa-chan plushie all day!)**

**Izaya: Again - SADIST! DX**


	29. Recovery With the Flea Ain't Easy

_Two weeks later…_

"C'mon, open up, will ya, flea?"

"I already told you that I don't like being fed, protozoan!"

"Shinra told you not to move that arm too much, so you don't have a choice. Now…OPEN UP!"

"No!"

"Do it!"

"NO!"

This was the most exasperating part about Izaya recovering. Yesterday, he was well enough to move him to the guest room, and he doesn't need any of the equipment anymore except for the IV. His heart rate mysteriously stabilized the day after he tried to pull the plug, and after monitoring him closely for the next few days, Shinra decided it was going to stay that way. However, he has some trouble napping here and there, and whenever he does, he gets very bratty and restless when he wakes up, like a moment such as this...

I gripped the fork, "Seriously, come on now, it's time to eat!"

Izaya glared and huffed, thrusting back on the pillows, scaring the sleeping L.D. in his lap half to death, "Just leave me alone – I'm not hungry!"

I rolled my eyes, giving him a disbelieving look, "…Didn't you just tell me you were hungry five minutes ago? Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten this fatty tuna for you, dumbass."

"You're the one who's a dumbass!" he stuck his tongue out, "Either way, there's no way I'm going to let you feed me, and that's final!"

I raised an eyebrow, "**Try me.**"

"**You wouldn't dare.**"

L.D. hid his furry face in his paws, trying to prepare himself for what was about to happen next. I raised my hands slowly, menacingly wiggling my fingers, and then I moved in for the kill. I flung my hands to Izaya's ribs and stomach, tickling him fiercely.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed loudly, "HAHAHA! S-stop! Stop it, Shizu-chan! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!"

I was relentless, "Not until you eat!"

"Pro-HAHAHAHA-protozoan, cut it out!" he gasped, "I-I mean it! HAHAHA – I CAN'T BREATHE!"

"I will, I will…" I said, still tickling him and barely breaking a sweat, "…As soon as you promise me that you'll eat something."

"D-Dammit, Shizu-chaaaaHAHAHAAAAN…!"

I smirked, "Wha…? Didn't catch that."

"FINE, FINE!" the raven gasped for air, "I – HAHAHAHA – I'll eat! HAHA! I'll eat!"

"Perfect." I retracted my hands back as if nothing ever happened. I watched him spurt out his last few giggles as L.D. hopped on my lap, purring amusedly. After the flea composed himself, he worked up a glare, crossing his arms.

"Well? If you wanna feed me so bad, hurry up and do it."

I hummed, picking up a piece of fatty tune.

"Alright, flea," I held it to his lips, "Open up."

He lowered his eyes, slowly opening his mouth and ate the fish. I heard a mewl stem from my cat, who looked at me innocently.

"No, no, L.D." I pet his head, feeding Izaya another piece of ootoro, "You can't eat this. It's for Izaya."

"I can't believe you actually got a cat…" the informant mumbles, smirking slightly, "Did you miss me that much?"

I scoffed, "Please, L.D. was in my apartment building's lobby, well hidden in the corner."

"So you just…took him…?"

I nodded slowly, not liking how similar his situation and mine are, "Of course…no one else would've taken him in…"

I gave him another piece of fish, seeming to get used to me feeding him.

"What do you mean?"

I stroked L.D.'s fur, making the kitty purr happily.

"'Cause…pets aren't allowed in the building. Plus, he seems to be the only animal that's not afraid of me, and I can control my strength around him."

"I see…" he sighed, swallowing the rest of his food, "Um, listen, Shizu-chan…"

"Hmm?"

"…I…" he turned his head away from me, "I'm not sure if I…"

"Izaya?"

"…I just can't believe that you don't hate me…" he said, ruffling his hair, "We've hated each other for years and years now…so why are you being so nice to me?"

"I've already told you why."

"Just answer me."

I thought about it. He was asking me where I went, what happened to me, and how and why it happened. This is when I'm supposed to tell him.

But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it, at least, not now.

I smoothed my blonde locks back, taking a deep breath.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya called. I looked up to meet his gaze, almost fumbling with my words.

"…L-let's just say that where I went…it helped me learn to act and see things like a real adult should, but the way it happened was completely ironic."

Izaya crossed his arms, "So…you went to rehab?"

"HELL NO!" I shouted, scaring the cat off my lap, "Damned flea…anyway, that's…really all there is to it."

"Really…" he sighed, "I bet Shinra was seriously considering sending me off to one of those places…wasn't he?"

I folded my hands, "No. I don't think he was."

"Don't lie to me," he leans back on the pillows, running a hand over his chest, "If not that, he wants to keep me here forever, right?"

"No, Izaya. He said for at least been three weeks to a month. Shouldn't be too long now, I mean, it's been two weeks already."

"Honestly, I've lost track of time…" the informant shook his head, "I may not act like it now, but…I just don't feel right. I don't feel sick anymore, but at the same time, I do It's more emotional than anything else."

"Emotional? Does this have anything to do with that thing you lost?"

"…Yes…" he put his head in his hand, massaging his forehead, "It was very important, and I don't have the slightest clue where it is now. I probably can't even get it back anymore…"

"I wouldn't be so sure," I tried cheering him up, "Depending on what you've lost, you can always get it back. Maybe not in the exact way it was before, but in some way, some form, you get it back."

"…You wouldn't know, Shizu-chan…"

"…Try me."

He looked at me solemnly, a bit startled when L.D. jumped up on the bed and brushed against his shoulder for comfort. Izaya smiled slightly, scratching behind the cat's ears before he finally spoke.

"It started kind of like how you and L.D. met," he said, "About three or four months ago, I was walking down the street in Ikebukuro, disregarding everything you say about keeping away from it, by the way, but to go on, I came across a…a little baby with a paper towel diaper on in the middle of the sidewalk."

"By himself?"

"By himself...no parents in sight, but oh…he was so cute. Silky blonde hair and huge chocolate eyes that most kids nowadays would die to have. He had the brightest smile, and whenever he put it on, I smiled, too."

"I see. You loved him?"

"Oh, God, yes. When I first brought him home, I was only taking him in until his parents realized he was missing, but…they never did, so I-I took on the job as…as being his parent. Kishou, that's what I named him, even called me Mommy, as weird as that sounds, but he was learning how to walk to me and how to talk to me…I've never felt so much happiness before."

This was all so familiar and nostalgic. Mama used to tell Kasuka and I the same thing when she showed us pictures of when we were babies. In all of the photos, from the moment I was conceived to this very day, she always calls every now and then and tells us how proud she is to have sons like us. Izaya probably wanted to say the same thing to his "son", but now, it was taken away.

"…Where is Kishou now?"

"…I don't know…" he toyed with his fingers, "I…I-I don't know…I woke up, expecting him to be in my arms, but he wasn't there. I called Shinra right after I searched my apartment in every place a dozen times, crying hysterically until I finally passed out on my own floor. Pathetic, right?"

"…Izaya, I'm sorry…and I…I have to tell you-"

"No, you know what - it's fine, Shizu-chan…" he cleared his throat, "I didn't think it was going to last that long anyway. I can't take care of a baby-"

"You don't know that." I cut him off before he spilled any further into his dark words, "Maybe not now, but soon enough, even a flea like you will end up meeting some girl, putting your work aside, then you'll get your baby. It'll just take time, but it'll be worth it."

"Please…Shizu-chan, I'm too deep into my work. I was never really social growing up, and the only entertainment I get nowadays are teasing you and watching my humans. Think about it – I can't even do the first thing anymore."

"You won't have time for either one once you have a baby," I told him, "Mom was on maternity leave for a long time after she had me, mainly because it was such a huge adjustment. You've _had_ that experience of having a baby at home, so you'll be well prepared when you have another, not having to miss _too_ much of your work."

"Doubt it…" the raven rolled his eyes, "Shizu-chan…you're talking all this talk about finding a girl and settling, but if you don't remember…_you_ kissed me – twice."

"Wha-what?!" I leapt back. _Oh no…he seriously did not feel me doing that…DID HE?!_

"Well, technically, it was my hand you kissed twice," he explained, "But a kiss is still a kiss. I didn't know you swung that way, Shizu-chan."

"I DON'T!" I pointed a finger at the stretched out feline on the bed, "L.D. made me do it!"

Izaya gave me a weirded-out look, "Yeeeaaaah…okay…"

I huffed, "Alright, flea, so maybe I _did_ kiss your hand, but it was only on the back of your hand and one of the tips of your fingers. So what?!"

"'So what?'" he repeated, "YOU, Shizuo Heiwajima, MY enemy, kissed ME, Izaya Orihara, YOUR enemy – isn't that enough?"

I blushed, "I-It's not like that!"

"Then why'd you kiss me?"

"Don't say kiss!"

"But that's what you did."

I growled, "Izaya, don't push it!"

"Just saying~"

"IZA-…n-never mind…"

"What the…?" Izaya looked at me incredulously, "You're not even gonna try and hit me?!"

"No…I told you, I'll argue with you, but I don't hate you anymore. Therefore, I won't hurt you."

"…UGH!" the informant groaned, "That's so boring! Now what am I supposed to do with you?"

"I dunno," I shrugged, "You say I'm unpredictable, so just wait for me to do something interesting."

"Don't be a smartass, protozoan – that's my job." He grinned, "I want an answer, Shizu-chan. Why did you kiss me?"

I dropped my shoulders. It was that stupid hormone! Yeah, that's it! I just can't remember the damn thing's name…!"

"Izaya, it was nothing personal," I tried to explain, "It was because of O…Oxy…Oxy…"

"Oxy?" the raven titled his head, "Oxy what?"

"O-Oxy…Clean…?"

"That's it – I'm going to sleep." Izaya rolled his crimson eyes up to the ceiling, turning over and flipping the covers over his head, "Personally, I think that's gotta be the stupidest thing you ever said. **Seriously**."

"Shut up, flea…" was all I could say as I sat back in my chair. I tapped my finger in aggravation, but not necessarily in anger. No matter what I could do or whatever I wanted to do, nothing was gonna change that flea's annoyingness, his childish attitude, that puff of his rosy cheeks when he pouts.

Sometimes, though…it's kinda…I dunno…cute, in a way.

I accidentally let out a chuckle, making Izaya shift again to turn and look at me in confusion.

"Just what the hell are you laughing at?" he asked with another weirded-out face.

I still chuckled, "Nothing…it's, it's nothing…"

"Apparently, it must be _something_ – you're still laughing!" he sat up again, giving me another pout.

I laughed, sneaking a finger up to side and poking it harshly.

"Just thinking about how fun it is to tickle you." I pointed out, poking him again using both my hands.

"AHAHAHAHA!" he giggled, tears already coming into his eyes, "I already told you to cut that out! HAHAHAHA!"

He flipped the blanket over him for a good source of protection, but I stood up and hovered over him, tickling him to death.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I – HAHAHA – I SAID STOP IT!"

He got up abruptly and pulled me down, throwing me on the bed and making the mattress's springs bounce and creak. He put his arms over his abdomen, shooting me a glare that I glanced at under my blonde bangs that now hung over and shielded my eyes. His stare softened when he saw the warm smile on my face, his shoulders gently relaxing.

"Shizu-chan…" he whispered, blushing slightly, "You're…you're on my IV tube…"

"Hah?"

"Ow…!" he drawled, "M-my IV! That's hurts, get off!"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I hopped up, trying to fix the now bent up plastic tube. While Izaya fiddled with the needle in his arm, Shinra busted through the door, a bandage in hand. He rushed over, shooing me and poor L.D. out of the way to move to the other side of the bed while he sorted out the equipment.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk!" he shook his head, taking the needle out of Izaya's arm, "I'm gone for a few minutes to let you eat, and then I hear laughter and screaming!"

The raven winced before the bandage was put over his arm, then made a face at the underground doctor.

"What do you expect? You left me in here with that brute!"

"Hey!" I called out, "I least I fed your ass!"

"Idiot, isn't that what the IV's for?"

"Actually, Izaya, I'm taking you off of it," Shinra said with a smile, "Seems like you won't be needing it from now on. Your recovery is going splendid! But, uh…"

"What?" I asked the brunette, who looked worried, "You just said he was doing fine."

"Yes, but…" Shinra hesitated, "I have good news…and also some bad news…"

"Really now…?" Izaya raised a brow, "Give me the good."

"Dumbass," I commented, "You always ask for the bad first."

"Shut up, brute!" he shouted.

I threw my hands up, "Alright, that's your loss…"

"Fine! Shinra, bad news, now!"

"…Well, technically, this could be considered good news or bad news depending on how you take it-"

"DAMMIT, SHINRA!"

"Er, okay, okay!" the doctor fumbled, "Izaya, you're going to be out of here in less than a week, but when you go home, Shizuo's coming with you!"

"HUH?!" the informant and I yelled simultaneously.

"To put it simply…Shizuo's gonna be moving in with you!"

_…Me…_

_…Moving in…_

_…WITH THE FLEA?!_

* * *

**Me: I hope that was a bit of a happier chapter than others. If not happy, then kinda funny!**

**Izaya: How is it funny that Shizu-chan's moving in with me?**

**Me: Remember when I said a few chapters ago that this story would only have five or six chapters left?**

**Shizuo: Let me guess - you lied.**

**Me: Damn skippy~ I have a reason for doing this. Just wait a bit...**

**Shizuo: Please review -**

**Izaya: - and make her wipe that evil smirk off her face...CAUSE THAT'S MY THING.**


	30. Your Smile

I wiped some sweat off my forehead as I set one of the many moving boxes at Izaya's door, already exhausted. I'd been dragging my stuff in here early in the morning for three days straight, but it was so tiring. Not to mention that Izaya was still reluctant about the whole thing. At that moment, he was sitting on the couch, arms crossed, and he glared as I brought each box into his apartment.

Finally, as I flopped back on his other couch, he huffed, "I don't understand why Shinra is making you move in with me. I already got Namie flushing all over me like some medical student, now here you come…"

I took my bottle of water off the table, taking a huge gulp out of it before I responded, "No matter how many ways you try to avoid it, this is about your health. Shinra just wants me to keep an eye on you."

"…But why YOU of all people?"

"He said it'd be better that way, and that you'd wouldn't be safer with anyone else but me."

"That's a little too much flattery, don't you think?"

"You're one to talk, Mr. Narcissist."

He rolled his eyes, getting up to go to his desk. He slowly walked around his area, stopping at the giant windows and looking down at Shinjuku's streets. He sighed softly, running his hand down the glass. I watched him carefully, and decided to get up and stand by him. He only glanced at me when I joined him, and both of us just stood quietly next to each other. L.D. strutted over and brushed against my pants, but he didn't make any noise.

"Hey, Izaya."

"…Yes?"

"…Tell me truthfully…as I am now...do you feel safe with me?"

Izaya crimson eyes seemed to widen a bit, but they gradually closed. He looked like he was contemplating the thought very closely. After a deep breath, he came to his answer.

"I do," he whispered, "For some stupid reason…I feel…right…"

I instantly blushed, and when he noticed that, he blushed deeper.

"O-okay, that didn't come out right!" he stuttered, "W-what I meant was that…I'd rather be here with you than anyone else…WAIT, NO!"

I chuckled, "It's alright, Izaya. I understand what you're trying to say. Maybe not completely, but I get the gist of it."

The raven didn't say anything, only giving me a scowl with the blush still lingering on his face.

"Hmph…protozoan…you gonna get the rest of your junk in here or what? Just a heads-up, most of that stuff is going to flood the guest room."

"Ah, I'll probably unpack only my necessary things, and then I'll get the rest tomorrow. I'm exhausted."

The sun was setting, and it was still kind of early in the evening for going to bed, but a little nap wouldn't hurt. I looked at the informant, who also looked very tired. He didn't go anywhere today or even catch up on most of his work. All that happened while I was moving in was him calmly telling his secretary to go home for a while three days ago.

"You know, now that I think about it…don't you think this situation going to be a bit…awkward when Ms. Namie comes back here in the morning?"

Izaya shrugged and moved to his office chair, "Awkward how?"

"Like…I mean…we're two guys, and I'm moving in…so…"

"Ah…she really shouldn't have much to say about it," the informant swung a little, "Seeing as though she's trying to get a sick relationship out of her brother."

I raised an eyebrow, wondering why Izaya would hire someone like that, but I probably would regret it if I asked.

"So, are you gonna get back to work soon?" I asked. His computer hadn't been on in days, plus he was making no move to return to the job he loved so much.

"…Probably not for…" he sighed tiredly, "…a good while…and you? Didn't you just go back to work with Tom not too long ago?"

"Ah, he keeps giving me a bunch of days off…and truthfully, I could use them."

"I see…" Izaya leaned back, making his chair squeak. His eyes wandered across his desk, looking at each little aspect of it as if he was afraid he had forgotten everything that was there. His red orbs particularly fell on a picture frame on the far right. I immediately recognized it as the picture Izaya and I took when I was an infant, the one where Izaya smiled like he was truly happy. His shoulders sunk, and he leaned back further in his chair, closing his eyes and letting his jet-black strands of hair fall back.

L.D. suddenly lowered his ears as the air began to tense, so he hopped up on Izaya's desk, messing with the man's propped-up feet on the furniture.

"L.D., cut that out," I scolded, "And get down."

"He's okay, Shizu-chan." The informant responded, still not opening his eyes as he rocked himself. We were left there in another silence.

"I'm bored already…" he groaned, breaking the chain of the uneasy vibe, "Listen, Shizu-chan…if you bring the rest of your boxes in from the hall…I might just help you unpack…if you want me to."

…Now I didn't know if this was really from just a lack of anything better to do, or if he just wanted to spend some time with me. Whatever the reason, I could use a pair of extra hands.

"Uh…" I scratched the back of my head, suddenly a little bashful, "I-I don't mind if you don't…I guess…"

"Good…" he yawned, stretching his slender arms, "Why don't we get a jump on it now before it gets too late, _ne_?"

* * *

"Geez, I would've never thought you would have so many books!" the raven exclaimed walking up his stairs, small shoe boxes in his arms. I only grunted, watching L.D. play with some of the foam peanuts and ripped tape scattered all over the floor.

"Shut up, flea. We went to the same high school, and since you say you're the best informant around here, then you should know that my best subject was Reading. It was my way of calming down after our fights."

"Hmm…I see you read a lot of light novels…" he pondered, sitting down on his knees and looking through the assortment, "And I see a bunch of manga in here, too. I should see your calm side more often~"

"I wish you would've told me that in high school before I ripped up all those signs…"

Izaya shrugged, picking up a certain book with a smirk, but then he looked down at the cover, "Oh…is this some type of memory book, Shizu-chan?"

It only took one glance to recognize the giant light blue binder with the rattle on the front. I sighed, trying to ignore it by busying myself with other boxes.

"Uh…yeah…that book pretty much tells my life story in photo-format…"

"Really…" Izaya's fingers traced down the edges, almost silently begging for me to let him look inside it. I bit my lip in thought. The informant's recovery was going really well, and I didn't want to trigger anything that would bring him back to that dark place again. Still, my hair was brown when I was a real baby, not blonde like it was when I was with Izaya. Maybe it would be fine…maybe it wouldn't, but if Shinra let him go home that early, then I guessed that the chances would be in my favor.

"You can, uh…look through it if you want," I finally said, "The pictures go backwards, though."

"Huh?" Izaya queried as he opened up the book, showing a picture of Tom and I at the office.

"The first few pages are the most current ones, while the ones in the back go all the way back to my diaper days…"

Izaya giggled, flipping all the way to the last page, "Shizu-chan as a baby?! I gotta see this~!"

I rushed over to his spot, "NO! DON'T LOOK AT THAT!"

But it was too late. He'd already skipped to the picture that was the key to unlocking my ultimate embarrassment safe.

"HAHAHAHA! Oh, my gosh!" he squealed, "Aw, Shizu-chan~! You had such a cute little baby butt!"

…Well…maybe I was worried about the wrong thing…However, that didn't change how mortified I was. I hid my face with both my hands, blushing hard at the photo of my chubby little body happily rolling around on the floor, stark naked.

"Argh! Shut up, you louse!" I yelled, "I was only seven months!"

"Yeah, but where's your wittle diaper?! And-and all you have on is little baby bootees~!"

I sat crisscross, my leg bouncing in impending fury, chin in hand. The raven noticed my anger boiling, so he cleared his throat and turned a few pages. He found little snippets from my first crawl, walk, tooth, haircut (which my crying face shows I wasn't happy about), and even my vaccinations (which I was EXTREMELY not happy about.) To make matter worse, my mother must've taken a MILLION naked pictures of me, and Izaya nearly burst into tears with laughter each time he found another.

The raven ended up at a page where the photo filled up the entire space. My mother and father were holding me close in a blanket. My tiny toes were curled as well as my miniature fists, and my mouth was formed in a small "o" as I cooed happily.

"Wow…" Izaya leaned down to look closer, "You look a lot like your mom…"

I scooted closer to him, "I get that a lot, and I was closer to her, too. Kasuka has Dad's looks, but we both have his eyes."

"Hmm…your mom was actually very pretty…was she…nice?"

"Mm-hmm," I nodded, "Very nice, and I would even dare to say she kinda spoiled me and Kasuka a little bit."

Izaya didn't respond, only staring intensely at the picture for a good while.

"_…Lucky…_" he mumbled, turning another page. There, he saw some pictures of me being messy, whether it was cake, toothpaste, or dirt from the outside, plus some other ones from some of my early birthday parties. He flipped some more and found my preschool and elementary school photos, giggling at my brand new button-up uniform. Eventually, he finally found the pictures of when my little brother was born at the hospital.

"Oh…is this Kasuka?"

"Yep…Mom said he was a colicky little thing, too…Sometimes, he cried for four hours straight."

"That sounds stressful…"

"I know I couldn't have done that, but Mom is…kinda the patient type. She was before, and she still is…So, uh…not to pry, but…what about your parents?"

Izaya pursed his lips, toying with his fingers uncomfortably. L.D. stopped playing and walked over to nudge against the raven's shoulder.

"Sorry," I apologized, "I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," he reassured me with a tiny smile, "My mother and father were…a bit too busy for me, if that's a soft way of putting it…However, they had a total 180 personality with my sisters. I guess they just didn't want a boy…"

"That's tough…but it got better, didn't it?"

"…Optimism, huh?" he chuckled, "That's definitely something new about you…When I got into middle school, Mom kinda just…avoided me, but my dad seemed to want nothing more than to be rid of me."

"He wasn't planning to…to kill you, was he?"

"As far as I know, I don't think so…" he started to murmur, "But he had to hold himself back a lot when he scolded me…sometimes, it was for nothing at all. Then, there was the day when I was in high school, and he got so angry at me that…that he slapped me…"

"…And what did your mom do about it?" I asked carefully, almost not wanting to hear any more of this.

"…She said that I shouldn't provoke my father by telling him what I told the both of them. So…I went away from home for a few days."

"Izaya…what exactly did you say to your parents that made them so angry?" I didn't want to be nosy, but a part of me wanted so desperately to know. I just had to ask.

"…I told them that I…that I wasn't…really…_straight_."

My eyes widened, "Wait, WHAT? S-so, you're…you're g-g-"

"Actually, I'm just bi." He answered coolly, "My sisters found out I slept with a few guys in my high school years, then my parents found out, and the 'leaving home' thing…yeah, my dad actually was the one that literally threw me out."

"**Literally?**"

"Grabbed me by collar and chucked me into the driveway. I heard the locks on the door click shut then some heated arguing between him and Mom. Mairu and Kururi were watching through the window as I pulled myself up, bawling their eyes out."

I looked at him seriously, completely oblivious to the idea that something like this could happen to a person like him. Shows what can happen behind closed doors...

"Izaya…I'm sorry…"

He only laughed a bit, setting the book down in his lap to pet the black cat that was now lying next to him.

"I find it truly ironic for those twins to be crying when they were in fact the root cause of that happening, but what they felt that day was most likely regret for what they did…I wish I could say the same for Mom and Dad…"

I sighed. The flea's been though a lot, more than I could've ever imagined. I watched him curl his knees up and wrap his arms around them protectively. He lowered his head down, a very gloomy expression on his face. I didn't really know what else I could say to comfort him other than apologies.

"Um…" I started, "If…if it makes you feel any better…I don't mind that you're, uh…bi..."

Izaya lifted his head, his crimson eyes showing curiosity.

"You…you don't?"

"Well, I really don't hold any prejudice against people, whether it's their sexuality, race, country of origin – whatever," I explained, "I just let…people be people, and…I guess that's why I hated you so much, y'know? You messed with that in people a lot…but Izaya, all people want a sort of peace in their life. It varies from person to person, but it has the same effect. I know I always complained that all I wanted was a nice peaceful life ahead of me, but now...I have the feeling that I actually just might get it. And so will you."

The raven stared at me, letting my words sink into him. He let out a little gasp when I put an arm around him, leaning him closer to me. Sometimes that damn hormone would course through my system at the most random times, but who said it was such a bad thing?

"S-Shizuo?" he blushed.

"Don't worry…" I whispered, squeezing him tighter, "Let me help you get rid of all those bad memories, Izaya. I want see you smile again."

* * *

**Me: Oh, the fluffiness...**

**Shizuo: Yeah, no kidding.**

**Izaya: Yeah...STILL CAN'T GET OVER SHIZU-CHAN'S LITTLE BABY BOTTOM! SO CUTE!**

**Shizuo (blushes): W-would you shut up?!**

**Me: Well...I mean...baby buns are ****_okay_****...**

**Izaya: You'd be saying more if I told you that double rainbows come outta there~**

**Me: OOOOHHH! LIKE THE FREAKIN' NYAN CAT?! ONLY IN A BABY SHIZUO FORM?!**

**Shizuo: Guys! Can we stop talking about my seven month old butt and let these guys review?!**

**Me:...Only if you sing the Buff Baby song~! (No, I don't watch that much Adventure Time...)**


	31. Nightmares

**Izaya POV**

After the little talk Shizu-chan and I had in the guest room, we finished unpacking most of his stuff. The empty boxes were put into the wardrobe to save room, and the bed was soon cleared and ready to use. As I watched him get out the last bits of what he needed for tonight, he wiped his face with a washcloth from the bathroom.

"Well, that's that for now," he remarked, "What do you say we get some rest for tonight. It's almost 11:00."

"Huh…" I stretched, "Amazing how fast time slips up under you…I can barely keep my eyes open…"

"I can tell, so go on up to bed, flea. We'll finish this in the morning."

I yawned, catching a glimpse of Shizu-chan's cat in the corner, fast asleep, "'Kay…'night, Shizu-chan. Don't tear the paint off my walls with your snoring~"

He glared, but I simply waved as I left the room. My bedroom was right down the hall to the left of the bathroom, so it wasn't that long of a walk.

When I arrived in my room, I took a look around, sighing to myself.

_What am I supposed to do while that brute's in my house?_ I thought, _Am I supposed to treat him like a guest? Roommate?_

I tried to think about it harder and harder, but nothing made heads or tails of this situation. I shook my head, taking off my shirt before slipping out of my pants. My eyes were beginning to droop, so instead of searching aimlessly for my silk PJs, I decided to go with my grey hoodie and dark shorts tonight for the sake of time.

I crawled into my bed, pulling the huge blanket over my head.

"Haaah…" I sighed deeply, feeling so relaxed by the sensation of my impending slumber, "Please let the rest of my days be like this…no worries, just sleep…"

* * *

_"Shizu-chan…let's go…"_

_"What?"_

_"I wanna go…with you, Shizu-chan."_

_"Izaya…"_

_"We can go anywhere, do anything we want, whenever we want. Don't you want that, too?"_

_"I do…but I don't want to hurt you…"_

_"Heh…you're silly…you can't hurt me, Shizu-chan. You will never be able to hurt me anymore...You're not able to because…I'm not afraid of you, and I don't hate you…and you don't hate me, right?"_

_"…That's right, Izaya-kun…I…I love you."_

_"I…I love you, too…we're gonna be fine from now on, right? You promise you'll protect us?"_

_"Of course…with my life. I'll look after the both of you."_

_…That's how I want it to be._

_Just you._

_Me._

_And Kishou-chan._

_Wouldn't that be the perfect life…Shizu-chan?_

_…Why won't you answer me…why won't either of you answer me?_

_Shizu-chan…Kishou…say something…_

_Anything…answer me, dammit!_

_…Tell me…tell me why…_

_…Why are good things always taken from me…?_

_…Why…why…__**someone please tell me why**__…?!_

"…zaya…Izaya! Izaya-kun, wake up!"

My eyes flipped open as I darted up from my bed sheets. I was panting, and sweat beaded around my face and back. I turned to see Shizu-chan's concerned expression staring at me dead in the eyes. Before, he was almost hovered over me on the bed, but he was propped up on one knee on the mattress, climbing up into the bed.

"Wha…what are you doing in here, you brute?" I rubbed my eyelids and pushed my damp hair back, "What time is it?"

"Around three in the morning," he answered, "But all I remember is that I heard you whimpering and yelping all the way from my room. What's the matter?"

My panting subsides a bit, and I rubbed the back of one of my arms. I remembered the dream so clearly, and looking at the blonde's face now only made it more vivid. I shut my eyes tightly, turning to the side to try and avoid his gaze.

"I'm…I'm fine…" I tried to say quickly, "It was just a stupid dream, but I'm okay now…"

I could tell that Shizu-chan knew I was halfway lying, but I guessed he decided not to pry.

"Alright…" he looked like he was going to move off the bed, but he hesitated.

"What's wrong?" I asked, "You should be going back to bed. I'm sorry I woke you."

Shizu-chan held an uneasy look, and he didn't respond.

I sighed in exasperation. One thing I would always dislike about the blonde is that he's really unpredictable. I can't tell what he wants or what he's thinking about – it's very tiring and frustrating.

"Okay, Shizu-chan, what do you want?" I huffed out, "Obviously, you're not going back to bed until you get it, so what is it?"

He twisted a lock of his blonde hair, and I made out a slight blush.

"M-maybe I should, uh…" he stammered, "…should stay in here with you…"

I raised an eyebrow, "Stay in here…with ME?"

"Uh…y-yeah…if that's a problem, then-"

"W-well, it's not that – it's just…"

Great, now I was starting to get flustered. I knew what he wanted – he wanted to sleep in the same bed with me, right? Maybe it was for safety purposes, maybe because he wanted to cuddle with something.

Either way, this was very new to me.

"…So let me get this straight…you want to sleep in here…in my bed…with me?"

"Just to…y'know…just in case you have another nightmare."

"Tch…that wasn't a nightmare, Shizu-chan," I glared, "I already told you it was only a stupid dream."

"Sure, whatever you want to call it," He rolled his eyes, an obvious hint that he wasn't going to believe of word of what I said about that, "But…anyway, I just want to…make sure you're okay. Do you not want me in here?"

I frowned. It wasn't like he was going to try anything…but it still made me a little uncomfortable. Shizu-chan didn't look like the type who like being touched at all, let alone sleep close to someone, but if he was the one who asked first, what major harm could come of it?

Plus, who said I had to tell anyone about it?

I dropped my shoulders, handing him an extra pillow and pulling the blanket down.

"I don't care," I yawned nonchalantly, turning over to face my window, "Do whatever you want, Shizu-chan."

Truth is, I wasn't completely relaxed with that brute sleeping so close to me, though him strangling me in my slumber wasn't what I was so tense about. The whole situation was just…weird, but it wasn't like I was able to tell Shizu-chan about how I felt. The deal had been set.

I flinched when I felt the blonde ease into the bed, snuggling himself in the sheets.

"Um…" he deep, yet soft voice called out in the barely-lit room, "I'm not hogging your covers, am I?"

"No," I responded flatly.

"'Kay…good night, I guess…flea…"

"…'Night…brute."

I heard him let out a soft grunt of displeasure at the name-calling, but other than that, the rest of the night remained silent.

* * *

**Shizuo POV**

_This is nice…_I mumbled to myself, still half-asleep. I was really only in Izaya's bed just for the purpose of making sure he slept soundly, but damn – the flea had one hell of a bed. It brought back the memories of when he let me cuddle next to him in the warm blankets during some of the harsh winter nights as a baby. The crib was nothing compared to his bed, and I nearly forgot how heavenly it was.

I felt so…warm…

I furrowed my eyebrows, starting to blink out some of my sleepiness.

_Warm…?_

_Wait…why does is feel so warm on my back…?_

I shifted, and the toasty sensation on my back shifted, too. I turned my neck to find Izaya sleeping soundly with his cheek pressed against my upper back. He was lying on his side, one of his hands close to his chest while the other was curled loosely as it sometimes tugged at my white T-shirt.

I guessed he didn't realize what he was doing, seeing as though his snoring remained light.

I raised an eyebrow. I tried to decide whether I should go on ahead and wake him up or just stay put for another hour or so. I looked at the clock to see that it was around 10:30, and I was never the type that liked to spend all day in bed. Izaya also seemed like that, always waking up early, but the night before might've gotten him off track. It didn't look like a fog alarm would've woken him up.

I sighed, sitting up and choosing to let him rest for a while longer, and started to make my way out of the bed. I flinched, feeling Izaya's hand clench tighter at my shirt. Ever so carefully, I reluctantly plucked each of the sleeping raven's fingers from the fabric, stopping only once when he whimpered slightly once I touched his ring finger.

Accomplishing that task (and laughing quietly at the reddish-pinkish pressure mark that was left on his cheek), I slowly rose from the mattress, heading downstairs. I glanced around, wondering where L.D., but remembered the black feline fell asleep in the guest room. I paced in the spacy living room, standing over at the giant windows, looking down to Shinjuku's streets. It was a bit foggy, but it was nothing a person couldn't see through in traffic, so I continued on through the rest of the apartment.

I eventually found myself in the kitchen, following my own stomach, and looked through each cabinet.

"Huh…no wonder he's so thin – there's nothing freakin' sweet in here," I remarked, already feeling some annoyance in me boil. It's hard to ignore my sweet tooth in the mornings, and at my house, it was always satisfied.

I guess not at Izaya's place…

I was really shocked that the informant didn't have any milk, as much as he loves to run and hop around, but then again, it's probably from all the ootoro he eats.

Plus, that was mostly what I found in his fridge.

I rolled my eyes, pulling out from the refrigerator door, and then I heard a buzzing sound. I looked over near the kitchen sink to see a light blinking at his coffee maker. I watched it fill up with the pitch dark liquid, shaking my head in disgust. You would never catch me dead drinking black coffee.

"So, Izaya likes his food bitter…" I concluded, but then I found something interesting his freezer.

I smiled, "Hmm…I'm sure this'll fix that."

**Izaya POV**

"Nngh…" I slowly open my eyes and see a blurry image of my ceiling. However, two black ears blocked the view, and eventually, Shizu-chan's cat's giant green eyes popped to my vision. He stared at me curiously, then proceeded to lick my nose.

"Hey…c-cut that out, Mr. Kitty~" I giggled, raising a hand to tickle his ear, but then I noticed that the owner of the cat was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Shizu-chan, hmm?" I asked the adorable feline. The cat mewed and dashed out of my room, probably down the stairs.

I shrugged, yawning and stretching at far as I could go, and I trudged downstairs. All of a sudden, a delicious aroma of food hit my nose. It was like the air surrounding my apartment was just begging me and luring me to my kitchen. I guessed it could only be Shizu-chan cooking breakfast, but I didn't question it any further as I progressed down the steps and rubbed my eyes.

"Brute, what exactly do you think you're doing?" I yawned again, patting the table to find a chair. The blonde was at the stove, cooking different types of omelets.

"Good morning to you too, Izaya…" he said sarcastically, "And if it's not obvious already, I'm fixing us something to eat, since you apparently don't have any taste when it comes to sweets."

"Oh, shut up," I wiped my eyes for the final time, "I absolutely loathe the taste of sugar. I don't get why people get such a high off of it…"

"I see…"

I only grunted in response, sipping the coffee that was already prepared on the table for me. My eyes shot open when the taste in my mouth was utterly disgusting, and I gagged.

"Oh, and I forgot to mention, I found these little packets filled with little crystals and these little cups that was white stuff in 'em. I hope you don't mind, but…I kinda just slipped them in your coffee. No big deal…_right_?"

I knew he was just grinning away. Oh, I just KNEW it!

Instead of spitting out the horrid liquid all over the idiot's face, I forced myself to swallow down the coffee. It left a bad taste in the back of my throat, and I just hated it. I gave a death glare to Shizu-chan who placed a steaming hot plate in front of me.

"There, flea," Shizu-chan said while handing me silverware, "Eat."

I stared down at the plate, which had a huge omelet in its center. The scent stemming from it was really good, but…

"Oh, so what?" I threw my hands up, "Anything I should **know** about this one, stupid?!"

He didn't even look fazed as he shook his head, "Unless you count ham and cheese, nope."

"Hmph!" I pouted, crossing my arms and turning the other way. Shizu-chan chuckled as he went away to fetch his cat's food bowl to feed him. In the few minutes that he was gone, I constantly looped an eye towards the sizzling omelet, my nose twitching at the damned smell.

"…Dammit…" I growled, grabbing the fork and stuffing a piece of omelet in my mouth, "Stupid…Shizu-chan…"

Why does that brute always have to prove me wrong?

* * *

**I know, I know - it's been full month. Don't remind me...I had to study for EOCTs as well as finals and end of the year projects. I've barely made time to breath! But, it's summer vacation, so now I can devote most of my time to you guys! Thanks for hanging in there with me and please review~!**


	32. Starting Conversation

I kind of wish breakfast between Shizu-chan and I lasted a little longer, because since I wasn't going to be working and neither was he, there was virtually NOTHING to do.

Well, for me, at least.

Shizu-chan found a little entertainment from the TV, plus he played his little kitty every now and then, but the cat was now drifting away up under my desk and going back being an informant was growing heavily on my mind. It's what I'm so used to doing during the day that I can barely get away from it for a second. I know there's just a bunch of clients and data out there just waiting to be hunted and distributed out, but Shinra said even after these few weeks, work is out of the question for me.

Though, surprisingly, he wasn't the only on that said such a thing.

A few days before Shizu-chan moved in with me, Shiki-san contacted me, and apparently, he found out about my little "hospital stay". How the hell he found out, I will never know (though, he and Shinra _do_ keep in touch a lot), but luckily, Shiki-san has a lot of patience when it comes me and work I do for him, so he told not to push myself and take as much time for extra recovery as I needed. I was a bit skeptical but went along with it.

Now, I all could do was watch Shizu-chan lay peacefully on the couch. He seemed to become a little too comfortable in my apartment in such short time, but I was too bored to even scold him about it. I rocked slowly in my swivel chair, constantly checking the clock almost in a beg to make it go faster. My hands itched to touch the assortment of keys on my computer, but I knew I wouldn't be able to focus.

Frustrated as hell already, I ran my fingers roughly through my hair. I hated boredom, and it's always the one thing that I can relate with humans. The feeling sucked – you feel you _can_ do something, like eating, sleeping, watching TV, or playing a game, but even if you do all four tasks, there's absolutely no satisfaction. It's an irritating emotion, and it's also hard to get rid of if your options are limited.

"Oh, my God…" I sighed through my teeth, even growling a bit. Shizu-chan looked sleepy on the couch, and I witnessed him turn over on his stomach, giving a slight moan.

"Flea."

I was a bit startled when he called my name out of the blue, but either way, I jumped at the chance to start a conversation.

"What is it?"

"…Can we eat something?"

"You just ate, idiot," I retorted, "You shouldn't be hungry."

"I know…" he stretched, "There's nothing to do…"

"No shit, Sherlock…" I rolled my eyes, "However, you don't have to stay cooped up in here all day, y'know."

He head peeked up from behind the couch, that same sleepy look in his eyes, "What do you mean? I'm not working today."

"That doesn't mean you can't talk a walk."

"Nah, it's cool. I like laying here. I'm just not used to sleeping so much."

"I see…" I leaned forward on my desk, propping my chin up in my hand, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, brute, I'm bored, too."

I didn't hear him respond, so I added bitterly, "I also heard that boredom can be a side effect from sugar in the morning…"

He stifled a laugh.

"That wasn't funny!" I shouted, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

He gave up on holding it in and laughed loudly, "C'mon, flea – it was just a joke! Still…"

"UGH!" I let out, shuddering in disgust from both the taste of sugar and Shizu-chan's amusement, "Stupid dumbass!"

Shizu-chan suddenly stopped laughing and gave a puppy dog look, "…That was kinda cold…"

"Oh, get over it…" I waved my hand dismissively, "You've gotten extremely soft this past month, and now I can't even raise a finger without you looking remorseful. That's so tiring…"

"Tiring?" he questioned, "Well, would you rather me yell back?"

I sighed, "I don't really care about it _that_ much, but I guess that's what I've always been used to, you yelling back and stuff…"

"Huh…" he rested his chin on the back of the couch, looking even more like a puppy, as he dangled his arm around the back as well. As the sun beamed through my windows, the lights hit his eyes perfectly, making them shine brightly and almost golden. For once, I actually saw…dare I say it…some of the attractive features in the blonde's face. His blonde bangs hung over like the day he lay limply on my "hospital bed", a goofy smile planted on his face, but despite how many times he's dyed it, those blonde locks looked about as soft as they could be. His skin was peachy and fair, and there was just the tiniest hint of extra skin around those cheeks, making them more rounded, yet still somewhat defined.

And then I made the mistake of looking at his lips.

Luckily, he didn't catch me because the brute was heading into Snoozeville again, but despite those mocha eyes barely open, I got a good glimpse.

His lips were about as shiny as his eyes, not to mention he nipped on it once in a while. The way he held his cigarettes in his mouth could've also had a lot to do with how their appearance, but they looked virtually untouched.

I swallowed, barely realizing my throat went dry, and tried to pave my way back into reality. The day suddenly didn't seem boring anymore, a stinging pulse in my body telling me to dig deeper into the former bartender in front of me, but I wasn't going to push my luck. The idea of me asking why the hell this brute didn't have a girlfriend was deep down in the fiery depths of Hell.

However, nothing wrong with saving that query for a later date.

I watched him fall further and further into slumber, and I decided to try and coax him to go upstairs. There's no way I would be able to stop myself from staring at him at this rate.

Out of sight, out of mind~

"Shizu-chan."

His sinking eyelids tiredly held themselves up to glance at me. He could barely lift his head.

"Hmm?"

"If you're that sleepy, then go upstairs and take a nap in the guest room."

He made a "mm-mm", which sounded almost like a whine, "The bed's all neat…"

"…All the more reason for you to break it in. No one except my sisters has slept in there, and the last time they've slept here would be over a year ago. Namie keeps it clean, though."

"…Okay, I just _really_ don't wanna get up. Your couch is almost as comfy as your bed."

"I could tell you liked it…" I huffed, leaning back in my chair, "You slept like a rock."

"Hmph…" he shrugged, "With a bed like that, flea, I don't understand why you leave it so often."

"What do you mean?"

"I bet you wake up at some of the most ridiculous times of the day, like three or four or something…"

"Eh…yeah. Sometimes if my work calls for it."

"That's stupid."

"Well, protozoan, what's your "ideal time" for waking up in the morning?"

"I'd say…" he pondered, "…almost nine, maybe even a little after ten."

"Ah, a double-digiter...the type that come down and ask what's for breakfast when it's already past noon. I can so see you doing that~"

"Shuddup…" he yawned, the insulting components of that phrase drowned out by his sleepiness, "Speaking of breakfast, you should really consider eating a lot more than ootoro."

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow, "What's wrong with fatty tuna?"

"Nothin' wrong with it, but there's just _too much_ of it in here for one person to eat."

"Please, I can eat as much ootoro as the next person. It's been a childhood favorite of mine~"

"Well…considering how skinny you are, one could question if you eat at all…"

I frowned, "I'm not skinny – I'm just naturally slim."

"…Isn't that just the basic definition for skinny?"

I scoffed, "As much sweets as you claim to eat, you should be as big as a freakin' house!"

He raised a hand to toy with his hair, "Chasing after people and lifting heavy stuff up helps, but it's not like I eat that stuff on a daily basis. Well…scratch that…I may have exaggerated…"

"Oh? Really…"

"Yeah…I do have this enormous bag of assorted gummy snacks – like, gummy bears, gummy worms, even the little ones that taste like cola – and I admit, on a regular work day, I snack on those the minute I get home."

I made a face, "That's disgusting…"

He seemed to just disregard what I just said and went on saying, "I wonder if I brought those with me…if I didn't, I'm gonna be so pissed…especially those cola ones. I mean, they even have them shaped into little bottles, and when you chew them, it's like they just POOSH with sugary, soda-ey flavor – all in your mouth~"*

"Okay, enough!" I was honestly getting a little sick, "That's wonderful to hear, protozoan, but I thought you were gonna take a nap."

"…I was…" he responded, "Not sleepy anymore…"

"Great…" I spun in my chair a few times, trying to rid myself of the revolting, sugar-filled image Shizu-chan threw into my mind, until he spoke again.

"Flea…I've always wondered…why do you always call 'protozoan'?"

I perked. _That's new._

"Um…I guess…it's because all protozoa have only one cell, and that one cell is pretty much all they have to survive in the outside world."

"Uh…huh?"

I sighed, "It's basically an insult to your intelligence."

"Ah…that, uh…that makes more sense…"

"So, I've answered your question, so now you answer mine: why do you call me 'flea'?"

"Um…well, I…" he trailed off, "…I…think that it was because…I thought you were kinda annoying like one. No amount of biting, scratching, or Hertz Tick and Flea Shampoo was gonna get you off. You, in a way, knew how to suck the life out of me."

"Uh-huh...I guess I can see that."

"Now back to you – why 'brute'?"

"Easy – the way you resort to brute strength to take care of your problems. Why do I have to be a 'louse'?"

"Eh…pretty much that same reason for why I call you 'flea'…wait…what about 'Shizu-chan'?"

I flinched, "Okay, that one was not me."

"You liar…"

"No, seriously! This chick that knew you from elementary school used to call you that…and…I actually thought you were a girl when I heard it for the first time, but luckily someone explained to me exactly who you were."**

"And the nickname just sounded cute to you, huh?"

"Well…yeah~!"

"Hmph…troll."

"Oh, get in line – you're not the first person to call me that~"

"I don't doubt that…"

…We sat in silence for a little bit, but the brute made no move to lay back down or to go upstairs. It was really frustrating, but it seemed like an over the edge staring contest.

"Hey…how about calling me Shizuo from now on?"

I blinked, "…I guess now…I don't really have a problem with calling you by your birth name, but…'Shizu-chan' is gonna be hard to break…"

"I won't hold it against you if you screw up, " he said with a sincere smile, "And to make it even, I won't call you flea or louse anymore – just Izaya Orihara, hmm?"

"…Yeah…" I had to smile a little back at that, "That's fine…Shizuo."

He nodded, sinking back behind the couch. I heard him shift, and he must've lain back onto his stomach. He sighed peacefully, and in almost no time, it turned into soft snoring. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head a few times before swiveling my office seat around to stare out into the blue sky that hovered above Shinjuku.

"Huh…Shizuo…'The Quiet Hero'…it kinda…fits you…"***

* * *

***I'm really referring to some of Haribo products, like Golden Bears and Happy Cola**

****This was actually the real reason behind "Shizu-chan" (go to the DRRR! wiki)**

*****The first part of Shizuo's name translates like this: Shizu = quiet & O = hero/leader.**

**SO MUCH RESEARCH INTO THIS CHAPTER! But it was worth it, mainly because I felt guilty for staying a month away from this story. A fully day with recordings of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Squidbillies, and Robot Chicken had to keep me working all day. (I can't work without the TV on.)**


	33. The Missing Kitty

The few days that turned into a few weeks passed by, and life with the flea, I mean, Izaya, was easier than I expected. We rarely fought, unless it was trivial spats here and there over something I did, and I cooked for him regularly. There didn't seem to be any major slips in his health other than fatigue and those nightmares, but he was stable nonetheless and was able to get back to his work at that point. However, that doesn't mean he was over the fact that his child was missing. I noticed he was staring at the picture on his desk a lot more, even holding it while he typed on his computer. I have a feeling that those horrible dreams he's having have a lot to do with not just Kishou, but also the real me. Izaya hadn't confided in me about any of them, but I was sure about my theory.

At the moment, the raven was napping peacefully in his office chair after staying up almost the whole night to work. L.D. lay in his lap, doing the same, while I was sitting in front of the T.V. I wanted to make the best of my last day off because the day before, I called Tom, practically begging him to let me go back to work. Even though some of our "clients" irritate me, I owe it to Tom for giving me the job in the first place. He agreed, so starting the next day, I would be back to tearing up Ikebukuro's streets if needed.

"Nngh…Shizu-chan…"

I heard the informant sleepy voice from across the room. As said before, we both agreed to call each other by our real names. I sometimes slipped up with "flea", but he broke the "protozoan" and "brute" habit in only one week. However, "Shizu-chan" was a different story – no matter what, Izaya just couldn't stop saying it…though I already knew it was gonna take a little extra time with that…

I rose up from the couch, stretching a bit, "Yeah? What is it?"

I wasn't facing him, but he called my name again, "Shizu…chan…"

"I heard you…" I rolled my neck, asking him again, "What is it?"

"Mmm…Shizuo…"

"Izaya," I turned to him, "What is it already?"

…I realized that he was talking in his sleep. His face was scrunched with discomfort, and he trembled.

"Shizu-chan…he…help me…"

My eyes widened, and I rushed over to his side, scaring my cat off his lap.

"Help me, Shizu-chan…I…I can't…"

I shook his shoulder, "Izaya! Izaya-kun, wake up! You're having another nightmare!"

"…my baby…f-find him…please…find him…"

"Izaya, dammit!" I grabbed both of his shoulders, shaking him harder, "I'm right here – wake up! Wake up!"

His blood red eyes shot up like rockets, and he frantically looked around the room. He was panting, a little sweat gathering on his face, but I sighed in relief.

"You know what?" I said grabbing a tissue off the box on his desk and handing it to him, "Maybe we should get you some sleeping pills. I think your nightmares are getting worse, and I should know – I have to come in your bedroom to stay with you almost every night. Are you alright?"

He didn't say anything at first, but in a low mumble, he replied, "That's it…I can't take it any longer…"

"What? What's wrong?"

Those eyes gathered a little bit of tears in them as he voice shook, "I can't take this! Shizuo, I need to find my baby!"

I flinched, "I…Izaya…"

"I need to find him, Shizuo!" he exclaimed grabbing the framed baby picture and holding it close, "I know Kishou is out there somewhere – he just needs to be found! Goddammit, I don't have any other options – I need my baby here with me!"

…I didn't know what to say. Sooner or later, Izaya was going to crack, but I wasn't prepared for what to do when it would finally happen. My heart and head were both screaming at me to tell him the truth at that very moment – no holding back, but…I needed Shinra…or…I was just too damn afraid to tell him on my own.

"Help me find him, Shizuo."

I darted my eyes down to the floor, thinking, _What should I say? How do I tell him?_

"Shizuo."

I looked back up again to the informant, who was on the verge of more tears.

"L-look, I know you think of me as a pretty-well-put-together guy, but I don't think you know what it feels like to lose something so close to you," he explained, "Kishou gave me something to live for other than my work and the human race, and I need to know what happened to him, whether he's…he's d-dead or alive…"

I let his words sink in, shaking my head.

"You're right – I don't know that feeling…"

"…Do you know how much it hurts that I don't even know if I can hold him in my arms again? I can't keep this up for long – I need him. Please, Shizuo."

"…Oh, God…" was the only thing I could say. I brought a hand to his head, making him flinch, but I brushed some of his locks away from his eyes. Wiping a tear away with one of my fingers, I sighed deeply.

"Izaya…I need you to listen to me…very carefully."

He breathed, nodding slowly, "What is it?"

I gulped, "Look…I'm very sorry for what has happened to you – believe me, I am – but…you should know…that-"

"Orihara! We have a serious problem."

I jumped at the sudden voice, but I realized that Izaya's secretary, Ms. Namie, came through the door, almost without a sound. Izaya looked at her coldly.

"What do you want?" he snapped, "If it's a client, tell them to wait."

Now, the relationship between me and Ms. Namie wasn't bad at all. I mean, we barely spoke to each other, but we didn't get on each other's nerves. The first day she saw me moving all my stuff into the apartment, all she did was look at me and ask if I wanted some water. However, it was a little painful to watch the tension between her and Izaya. Whatever was going on with those two, I had no idea, but the arguments they had made me uncomfortable…

"Listen, these aren't clients," she retorted, setting her bag down near her desk, "There are two girls here to see you. Twins, I think."

"W-what?"

"IZA-NIIIII!"

"Eh?" I said out of shock, "You didn't tell me your sisters were staying here, too."

He kept a straight face, but I knew his anger was boiling over, "**They aren't.**"

The two young brunettes dashed inside the apartment, nearly tumbling over the informant's desk. Namie put a hand to her forehead.

"I'm sorry – they followed me all the way into the building and snuck in the elevator…"

"Iza-nii!" Mairu squealed, suddenly shoving her finger in my face, "You didn't tell us that Shizuo-san was staying here with you!"

"First of all, that's none of your business," their sibling spat back, "And secondly, get out!"

Kururi downed her brown eyes, "Meanie…"

"I don't care – I said get out!" Izaya yelled, pointing at the wide-open door.

"Oh, so when we're in trouble, you pretend you love us, but any other day, you can't stand to even sense our presence?!" Mairu huffed, shoving her glasses up as far as they could go, "Absolute bull! I feel sorry for poor wittle Kishou-chan!"

I flinched, giving an awkward cough, "U-uh, Mairu…I-I really don't think-"

"Speaking of which, where is little Mini-Shizu-chan?" she giggled, "I've missed our little cute bundle of chub~"

"Kishou…" Kururi quietly added in.

The situation was slowly spiraling out of control, and I didn't dare look at Izaya's expression.

"M-Mairu, Kururi, I really think you should-"

"C'mon, Iza-nii!" Mairu whined.

"Guys…"

"We wanna see our nephew!"

"Hey, listen to-"

"IZA-NII!"

"HEY, DAMMIT!"

Everyone, even Ms. Namie, jumped at the harsh tone of my voice. Trying to regain my composure, I pulled the twins close to me, my voice low this time.

"Listen to me…that's…that's over now…" I sighed, "Do you understand?"

They stared at me in disbelief, glancing at their older brother. Izaya didn't say anything, but he had his head in his palm, taking a deep sigh. The two girls immediately looked remorseful, shooting me an apologetic look. I nodded, giving quick pats to both their heads.

"Your brother loves you – don't ever doubt that. He just needs…a little time, and when he's ready…" I hesitated, "…he'll tell you everything. Okay?"

The twins nodded, saying a swift goodbye and heading out of the door. Once it was shut, instinct made me walk over to the man in the swivel chair.

"Hey..." I called softly, touching his shoulder, "Izaya…you okay?"

He sighed again, but this time, it was shaky.

"…I don't know…I just…I don't know what I'm supposed to do..."

I rubbed his back, aiming for comfort, but he pushed my hand away.

"Listen…" he said while getting up, "I need to be alone…"

I nodded, watching him walk up the stairs up to his bedroom. My expression faded as I heard the door close forcefully, and I sighed heavily. Next thing I knew, the only sounds I heard were Ms. Namie typing on her keyboard and the low volume of the TV. There wasn't much else I could do, but I thought maybe I could spend some time with my pet.

Instantly, I found my duffle bag filled with cat stuff (most of which Kasuka sent me), and took out a bag of cat treats and his jingle toy. At first, I was a little surprised that L.D. didn't come when I first took it out of the bag, but giving it a few shakes in my grip, I called out for the black cat.

"Here, L.D.! I got your favorite toy Uncle Kasuka sent you!"

…Nothing.

"L.D.?" I looked around the apartment, shaking the bell some more, "Little Dude? Here, kitty, kitty!"

I focused my hearing to try and hear the tiny footsteps that normally pattered to my legs when I called him, but no avail.

"Kitty?" I called again, this time going over to Izaya's desk, checking underneath, "Not here…"

Coming back up, I did a quick scan of the room again before traveling to the kitchen. His food and water bowls remained intact, but even after searching the tile floors twice, there was no sign of my cat.

At this point, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried, and my hand gripped the cat toy tighter.

"Um, Ms. Namie?"

The woman looked up, pausing on her work.

"I'm, uh…sorry to bother you, but have you seen my cat?"

"Little black cat, right?" she asked before I nodded, "No, I haven't. In fact, I don't think I saw him since I got here."

I scratched the back of my head, "Where could he have gone…?"

"If I were you, I'd check upstairs," she added, "By all means, I'm no fan of cats, let alone an expert, but there are a few empty boxes up there from your move. I suggest looking there since they like to play in them."

"Thank you," I said with a short bow, and wasting no time, I made my way upstairs. I checked the guest room first, looking in every box that was left, empty or not, but no sign of L.D. I did a search in the guest bathroom, finding nothing there either. I was almost desperate enough to knock on Izaya's door, seeing as though L.D. comforted him often whenever the raven was upset, but thought against it.

"…Damn…" I cursed to myself, walking back downstairs, "Where the hell is he?"

I closed my eyes, trying to think. It was clear the cat was not in the apartment, but I wanted to find out just exactly how he got out.

Then I remembered.

"…The door…" I mumbled, "When Mairu and Kururi ran in…no one closed the damn door…Shit!"

I stuffed the cat treats in my pocket, ready to head out the door to find my cat that was loose in numerous-floor apartment building. Now I know what Izaya was talking about earlier – losing something important. Sure, I don't have kids, and I will never know what losing a child feels like, but L.D. was all the company I had once I changed back. He helped me get back on my feet, and he was someone I looked forward to seeing once I got home every day.

"Ms. Namie, if Izaya asks where I am, tell him L.D.'s gone missing for me and I'm looking for him, will you?"

"Of course," was the reply, and with that, I went out the door.

* * *

**Izaya POV**

How long was it? Two, two and a half hours doing nothing but curling up with my pillow, feeling sorry for myself. I was tired and stressed, but nothing I did to help it seemed to be working. I wanted so terribly to scream at my sisters until they cried, but it wasn't their fault – they didn't know.

If anything, it's all my fault.

Rubbing my eyes, I decided that getting something to eat might help boost my strength. Luckily, Shizuo was nice enough to buy me all the ootoro I wanted, most I didn't even ask for. The blonde…wasn't as bad as I thought…I knew he was trying to help me in any possible way, but I just don't know how to accept it.

Halfway downstairs, I noticed he wasn't in front of the TV as usual. I didn't think much of it at first, but after stacking some fatty tuna on a plate, I noticed that he wasn't in the kitchen either.

"Hmm…that's weird…" I noted, stuffing a piece of the fish in my mouth, "Hey, Namie?"

"What is it?"

"Where's Shizu-cha- I mean, where's Shizuo?"

"He said to tell you that he was out looking for his little cat."

"L.D.?" I asked, "Where is he?"

Namie pushed her hair back, "I don't know, but he ran out sometime after your sisters busted in. They left the door wide open."

"Oh, dammit!" I cursed, searching for my jacket, "About how long ago did Shizuo leave?"

"I would say about an hour or two ago," the secretary answered, "He hasn't been back since."

If I knew Shizuo well, he was probably going on each floor, some twice, trying to find the missing feline.

"I'll be back – leave early if you want!" I yelled to her as I went out into the hallway. I looked both ways, not seeing the former bartender in sight. I had no idea where to start from, but my best bet would be to try the lobby. Pets do get lost in here often, and most owners go down to the lobby and report it. Normally, if the all staff is on their guard, the pet is usually found in less than an hour.

Heading down the hall to the elevator, I pressed the down button, tapping my foot impatiently. I wondered why I was doing this…and for what? This was Shizuo's cat, not mine, but I could tell that the little black kitty was important to him, as Kishou was to me. It was just be wrong of me not to help him, because I know the blonde would help me find my baby.

He didn't even have to say a word, because I saw it in his eyes.

When the elevator finally dinged, I went inside and pressed the "1" button, looking up to the ceiling as the moving box made its way down. When it dinged again, I practically shoved the two doors apart, hurrying up the desk.

"Excuse me-"

"Ah, Orihara-san~!" the clerk exclaimed, "It's been a while! May I help you?"

"Y-yes…" I panted, "Have you seen a…a black cat anywhere? Um…blue collar with a silver tag that says, 'Little Dude'?"

"Um, no sir, I haven't…"

I sighed, until I felt a young child's hand tug at the fluff of my jacket. I looked down to see a little girl no older that seven.

"I saw a black kitty, mister," she said, "There was a tall blondie chasing it."

"Oh?" I asked her, "Can you tell me where they went?"

"Outside," she answered simply.

"Uh-huh…how long ago was this?"

"Um…maybe…five…ten…fifteen minutes ago?"

"…That sounds more like you're asking _me_. You don't know?"

"Um…"

All of a sudden, there was a loud screeching sound coming from the street. I quickly thanked the young child and rushed outside the apartment building. The second I stepped on the pavement, I looked down the block to see a car stopped right in the middle of the road, a bunch of people surrounding the area. I squinted, looking down further, finally spotting the blonde debt collector kneeled in front of the vehicle.

I sighed in relief, running towards him, "Shizuo! Shizuo, what're you doing out here?!"

I got in closer and closer to the scene, and then came the vibe that something was very wrong. I finally caught up to Shizuo, holding something tightly.

"Hey, Shizuo?" I shook his shoulder, "What…?"

I looked in horror to find Shizuo's cat, slumped over in his arms. Blood stained a small spot in the road as well as the former bartender's hands. The cat toy was lying limply at his side, but those brown orbs never took his eyes off the small animal. He finally turned to look up at me, and I saw those tiny tears at the corner of his eyes.

"Oh, Shizuo…" I breathed, kneeling down to wrap my arms around his body in an embrace, "Oh, no…"

He hugged L.D. tighter to his chest, burying his face as far as it could go into my jacket sleeve. I didn't even pay attention to the driver who got out of the car and gave his deepest sincere apologies, but it didn't take him long to realize just _whose_ pet he just ran over and killed, and the coward took off running.

But none of that mattered, because for the first time in my life, I actually felt sorry for the man I hated for so long.

* * *

**Just going out on a limb here, but NONE of my most favoritest fanfics (yes, it's a word) of all time on this site have been updated recently. It's almost CRAZY that this is the way it's been for, like, months at a time! Now I know how you guys feel about cliffhangers! XD Sorry for the long break, but I'm busy doing summer assignments and putting my cosplay together, not to mention Mom's been using my laptop every day...**

**None of that matters, though - I'm here now, and I'm still working! Please review~**


	34. Struggle

A month passed after that horrible incident with L.D., and Shizuo still hadn't gotten over it. It literally took me _days_ to get him to come out of his room, but even after that, it was getting more and more difficult to get him to act normally. I found myself trying to talk endlessly to him, saying just about anything I could think of, to rid his face of that depressed expression, but it was almost like he didn't want to look at me.

…Was it my fault?

…No…we both knew it was an accident…true, my sisters did leave the door open, but they didn't even know there was a cat in the apartment.

Still, it didn't matter – his pet was dead, and I had a good idea of what he was feeling. Yes, I was still looking for Kishou, but on my own. I know I asked for Shizu-chan's help before, but at the moment, it would have just hurt him more. So far, nothing had come up in my search for the missing infant, but to answer truthfully, I was very close to just giving up and accepting the outcome.

The future was starting to look bleak, and I began to think about all the worse possible scenarios. He could've been in the hands of his kidnapper, found by another family, or lying dead after being dumped somewhere in a cold alley. It was very painful to think that way, but whatever happened to him, no matter how bad the truth was, I needed to know.

This particular day after walking home from the store, I tiredly set the groceries down. It was pouring down, and Namie had already left for the day. I took off my soaking wet jacket, making a mental note to take it down to the dryer later, and slung it over a chair.

"Shizuo?" I called as I trudged up the stairs, one small bag in my hand, "Are you sleeping? There's something I want to give you."

As expected, I didn't get a response, so when I got to the closed guest room door, I knocked quietly.

"Shizuo, I think you're really gonna like this," I said while trying to smile, "Won't you open the door for me?"

My shoulders sunk, not hearing anything behind the closed door.

"Fine, I'm coming in…"

Giving the knob a twist, I opened the door, not surprised to see the blonde lying on his side on the bed. He didn't even have a blanket over him as he stared at the wall with dull eyes, a lit cigarette barely clinging to his lips. Something I was surprised to see was L.D.'s little blue collar in his hand, and the memory of the cat flooded back into me as the silver tag shined, even in the dim light. I sighed, walking further into the room to reach the window on the back wall.

"Really bothers me when you smoke in here…" I mumbled, lifting up the glass as drops of rain spattered on the windowpane, "But whatever…the cool air from the rain is relaxing."

Shizuo only kept his view to the wall, not responding.

"Well, now…about that little something I wanted to give you…" I said, opening up the shopping bag to reveal dozens of assorted candies and sweets, "I saw a bunch of sugary stuff that I hated, so I knew you must've loved them all and decided to buy you some."

Without waiting for even the slightest twitch, I crawled onto the bed, the bag in my hand. I took out a package that contained the gummy cola bottles that the blonde used to never shut up about. Tearing a corner, I dipped my hand in and took out two.

"See?" I asked, reaching my hand over his back to place it in front of him, "Happy Cola – your favorite! It's been a while since you had these, _ne_? Normally, they're out of stock, but I bought as many as I could."

I only heard of soft, quiet sigh come from him, possibly just from exhaling his smoke, but that was good enough.

"C'mon, it's been a good while since you've eaten something - Namie told me that before she left. Plus it'll take a normal person half a month to finish this bag by themselves, and you know that I'm not gonna eat any."

Shizuo remained silent, and at this point, I was through.

Hesitantly, I placed my hand on his arm, nearly jumping from how cold he was. He flinched slightly, but gradually, he eased to the touch as I gently rubbed the skin.

"You're freezing…"

He let out a deep sigh, taking the cigarette away from his mouth and squishing it in the ashtray on the nightstand. I didn't stop caressing his arm, and setting the candy bag to the floor, I touched his blonde locks, letting them slip in and out of my fingers.

"Shizu-chan…please stop this…" I whispered, almost begging, "Please believe me – I can't bear seeing you like this much longer. Most of all, I want you to say something, but don't say anything like, 'You don't understand.' – **I do**, and you know, far better than anyone else, that I do."

He shifted uncomfortably in his white T-shirt, still quiet as ever. Suddenly, he sucked in a breath, closing his eyes.

"There's nothing I can say," he said shakily, "This is my fault. Everything that's happened so far is my damn fault."

I sighed, lying down on my side to get closer to him.

"Now what're you talking about?" I asked, "We both know L.D.'s death was an accident. You couldn't have prevented it, and neither could I. No one's to blame for this."

"…That's not what I'm talking about."

"Oh? Then what else has happened?" I pondered, "…The only other thing I can think of was me getting shot. That was my own stupidity, but either way, all that's over."

"Izaya…you-" he held his breath, only to forget his next few words and sink into the pillow.

"Shizuo…" I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek to his neck, "You helped me recover…in more ways that you think. I used to think your name was pretty ironic, but…you're gentle. Kind, almost, and you've saved me from some of the things I might've done without my child. I'm grateful to you, and…"

I trailed off, feeling him begin to tremble.

"Izaya…you don't get it…I'm not as good a person as you think…I-I…"

Then I heard the forced stifled sobs.

"I-Izaya…I'm…I'm not…"

I saw the tears spill harshly on the bed, and his body jerked with each sob. He hid his face with his right arm, wiping his eyes fiercely. I squeezed him tighter, rubbing his back. His rambling it seemed was just depressed talk – stuff he's been holding in for a while – and I only knew one thing I could do.

"…At least turn and look at me, Shizuo…" I chuckled softly, "I know you used to call me a flea, but I don't look like one, do I?"

The blonde slowly quieted down his crying, and with small sniffles, he shifted to meet my gaze with wet reddish eyes. I only smiled, wiping away a rolling tear, and ruffled his blonde hair.

"There now…" I nodded, "How's it feel coming back to the real world?"

The former bartender's eyes welled up with water again, starting to hiccup, and, going on instinct, I moved the blonde bangs out of the way and placed a light kiss on his forehead. In that instant, he flipped over and buried his face in my chest, crying again. I held him tightly, kissing him again on the cheek, and reached for his hand.

"It's okay, Shizuo…" I whispered, loosening the cat collar out of his hand and replacing it with my own, gripping it, "You don't have to cry…shh…"

"I-Izaya…"

"Shh…it's alright…everything's going to be alright…"

It was strange.

It felt like he was almost mine, holding him close to me in my arms like that, and I felt tears coming into my own eyes.

Sighing unsteadily, all I could do was kiss him, comfort him, and beg him not to cry – all in hopes that this would just be another beautiful nightmare.

I held him like that for as long as I could, as tight as I could, until his cries died down and we both fell asleep.

* * *

"Izaya?"

"Yes, Shizuo?"

"…S-sorry you had to see all that…"

I chuckled, feeling him shift to sink closer to me, "As much as you've seen me cry these past few months, this was only fair."

He smiled, but then his expression turned into puzzlement.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"…Izaya…why did you try so hard for me?"

"What?"

"Why are you doing all this? To make me happy again?"

I merely laughed, "I thought it'd be obvious – you did the exact same thing with me, didn't you? When I pushed you away, you pushed back harder. It worked…for the both of us."

Those mocha eyes softened, and he sighed.

"I see…I understand, but…at the same time…it's conflicting…"

"Conflicting?" I repeated, "Shizuo, it shouldn't be. You might give the impression of a hot-headed man with anger issues, but I've known for a long time that there are things out there that make you smile."

"Really?"

"Of course," I answered, "Those disgusting sweets you eat, seeing your brother whenever he comes into town, and apparently animals, too."

"…Y-yeah…"

"Well…really, I've known that _way_ before you showed me L.D. Remember that little stray dog that used to hang around Raijin? You named it Curry."

The blonde took a pause, "Oh, yeah – I remember why I named him that. He stole a curry bun out of my bento box the first time I saw him, but also because his fur was the same color as one."

I nodded, "Mm-hmm. I watched you every single day as you snuck outside and fed that pooch almost half your lunch. I would sit atop the school building, and just seeing you so happy…made me a little happy as well."

A light pinkish tint came into the debt collector's cheeks.

"Wait…but that was before you met me, right?"

"Yeah…I went over every little thing that made you lips our yours curl into a smile, and…I…I wanted to be a part of that, but…I just…I just couldn't tell you that."

"Why's that? Did I frighten you?"

"No, but…I wanted to so bad…you were right…I was immature."

"Izaya, we both were."

I shook my head, "No, I _wanted_ to give people a hard time, to watch them slowly lose their patience with me…I was trying…_trying_ not to let that happen with you. I wanted to act different around you, but…even that was impossible."

He frowned, "Why…why didn't you tell me any of this?"

A sad smile crept its way onto my face, "That's just it…I didn't know any other way how to say things to people, and you…you were a bit of a challenge for me. I actually wanted it to work between you and I, but…I guess it all turned wrong…"

"…Izaya-kun, I'm sorry."

I raised a hand to his cheek, caressing it.

"Don't be, Shizuo. I just never stopped and thought about all the possible outcomes that day could've had, or at least before you brought it up first. However…"

The blonde raised an eyebrow, "What is it?"

I blushed, "…I can apologize for that, or...more specifically…make up for lost time."

We were close enough to feel our breaths, to hear our heartbeats, but mine was erratic. Shizuo blinked twice, but he relaxed in my hold and stared straight into my red orbs. My blush grew in color, and with both of my hands on his cheeks, I leaned in so that our noses touched. His warm hand reached the back of my raven locks, toying with some of the strands, and gradually, our lips met.

The former bartender's lips were softer than I imagined, and the kiss was so slow and sweet, it almost felt dangerous.

"Shi-Shizu-" I managed to get out in between the lip-lock, but before I knew it, the kiss got more demanding.

_Oh, God…this is...this is really happening…o-oh, God…_

When we pulled away, I was panting, and Shizuo released a deep breath. We stared at each other again, and I smiled a little. All of a sudden, his eyes widened, and he shot up from the bed almost in shock.

"Hey," I called, sitting up and placing a hand on his shoulder, "What's wrong?"

He slapped a hand over his face, gripping the skin as he slid it down.

"I…Izaya…I-I can't…" he trailed off, and in the next second he got off the bed, rushing out of the door.

"H-Hey, wait a minute!" I yelled after him, struggling to keep up as he carried on down the stairs, "S-Shizuo! What's the matter?!"

"Look, j-just stay here – I'm coming back!"

I barely made it when he opened the door, ready to step out, "Just tell me what's wrong!"

Shizuo hung his head against the doorframe, clenching his fists, "It's…it's complicated, okay? I need some time to clear my head."

"B-but-"

He put a hand to my head, giving a quick kiss to my forehead.

"I'll be back."

My shoulders sunk as I watched him walk out of the door. Sighing, I rubbed my temples.

"What the hell did I just do?" I groaned, shaking my head, "Why would I even…? Goddammit…"

* * *

I ended up waiting for that brute, cell phone close in my hold as I lay on the couch.

Hour…after hour…after hour – just watching the ceiling as the room became darker and darker.

In that timeframe, I felt helpless. I felt like I committed the most horrible crime, until around eleven that night.

My cell phone started to ring, and instantly, without even checking the I.D., flipped it open and held it to my ear.

"Shizu-chan?!"

"_…No, this is Shinra,_"

I sighed, "Oh…"

"_Judging by your voice, I take it Shizuo's not there,_" the doctor replied, "_Do you know where he is?_"

"No…he's been gone for a few hours, and I actually thought he'd be with you."

"_…Well, the reason I called is because I need you to come over here._"

I raised an eyebrow, sitting up, "Why? Did something happen to Shizu-chan?"

"_Um, not really, but…_"

"But what?" I asked anxiously, "Shinra?"

"_…Celty and I need to discuss something with you._"

* * *

**Ah, I guess you could say things are getting juicy, but while we're at it, there's something I want to say.**

***MAJORLY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE* Over the course of the story, there was almost like a split in between readers who wanted yaoi in this story and those who absolutely were against it. I knew where both sides were coming from, but there were days when I felt like I was torn past help. You'll never know how difficult it was to find and write a good solution, and it took a lot of thinking, planning, and time. I sincerely hope that this appealed to both sides and this chapter was a good as the others - please review~!**


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